My kids had one of those aluminium micro scooters. I really, really can't see the point in them. Cubester eschewed it for a skateboard, and Cubette didn't spend much time riding it, but Dan from next door loved it. We have a steeply sloping concrete drive, and the sound of Dan riding it down for longer than a few nominal minutes sent me round the twist. Now, nothing against Dan really, but he is the same age as my two, and when they were in primary school Dan used to come round and play a lot. He spent a lot of time with Cubette, rather than Cubester, as she had a nice Barbie Palace and he enjoyed playing Princess games with her. He also used to play in the same Rugby team as Cubester, but gave up when they played full contact, spending more time in tears than on the pitch. He used to go to the same high school, but claimed he was bullied, but according to Cubette the kids on the bus just shouted at him to stop singing High School Musical numbers a the top of his voice. Just sayin'
Anyway, the scooter used to live in the garage, and being an awkward shape never stayed in the same place twice. It used to appear and fall on me every time I wanted to reach something down from a shelf, or move one of the bikes to find it was lodged behind it, with the stupid foam handles tangled in the brake hoses. I learned to hate it beyond measure, irrationally associating it with Dan, who far from being a victim, was actually a thoroughly nasty piece of work, making up lies about all the nasty boys at school. Cubester tried hard to teach him to be a bit more streetwise, but he ended up telling a provable pack of lies about him too.
I eventually hid the scooter in the roof beams in the garage, but one day it fell on me when I was getting some camping kit down, so I threw it back up, whereupon it bounced off one of the surfboards and hit me on the head. Attracted by the sweary noises from the garage the kids came out in time to see me rendering the bastard thing unrideable with a sledgehammer.
I was due to visit the tip, so it went in with half a dozen old paint tins, some rubble sacks full of tiles and a bag of weeds from the front garden. When I got back from the tip,I glanced in through the back window of the car to see some familiar foam grips mocking me from the boot floor. I'd brought the f*cking thing home with me.