Things you'd like inventing that haven't been invented yet


Having fallen over getting out of the shower this week and knocking myself out for a bit I suddenly realised that now I live alone if I was to really hurt myself no one would know and in lockdown potentially for weeks.

I’m an IT person and not that old surely I could set up something that triggers an alert message to a friend if not checked in for say 24hrs as a middle aged very fit single man it’s not something that crossed my mind but it’s so easily done, I never thought I could or would slip and fall over and definitely not smack my head on the sink in the process that could have ended very badly.
A worry for anyone living solo. When I do diy involving ladders I put one of my landline phones at the base so if I fall, I dont have to crawl far for 999.
Smart watches have heatrate monitors and movement detectors. Most have fall detectors that detect suddent loss in altitude followed by no movement. They can be set to alert the wearer then call a designated number or 999.


Smutmaster General

Yellow Fang

Legendary Member
Ooh I know, a device for jamming smart phones and music players on the train. Imagine there's someone in your carriage nattering on endlessly into their phone, or someone's playing music through leaky ear-pieces, or even playing it out loud, because it's so good everyone should enjoy it. Imagine also this is in the futilely assigned 'quiet' carriage. You press the button and instantly they start hearing The Frog Chorus by Paul McCartney on repeat.

Rickshaw Phil

Overconfidentii Vulgaris
How about a device that 'speaks' in the CC posters/members accents. I sometimes read members posts in their how i imagine them to be accents (if they give their location,or other clues etc). phone has a thing that reads text messages back to you if you want. Why can't phones read your messages back to you in a certain dialect if you want them to?🤔
(Wonders whether my accent is the slightest bit like you imagined):

Accy cyclist

Accy cyclist

Legendary Member
I'd like somebody to invent a device that stops dogs from jumping up at me! I'm just sick of dogs jumping up,putting their dirty paws on me,while their owners just say "Oh don't do that,good boy". One woman let her mud covered dog come at me this afternoon. I told her that i don't like dogs jumping up,but she let the fecking thing do it all the same. I managed to beat it back with my walking stick,much to her obvious annoyance. She said it was 'on a lead',so it couldn't reach me,but these leads are 30 foot long,so pointless!🧐

captain nemo1701

Space cadet. Deck 42 Main Engineering.
I'd like to see a BS indicator attached to each post.
That would be great for the news for interviewing politicians. Imagine the BS-O-meter going from green (left screen) up to red (right screen). Unfortunately, even a screen in cinerama wouldn't be wide enough to accommodate the BS from Farage et all. You'd need some kind of logarithmic scale...?
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