Things you'd like to say, but can't

[Silver Fox]

Listen you salsa dancing ponce excuse of a limp wristed man, you're just my ex's current squeeze. Insult my kids again, I'll put you on your arse. Now **** off and iron your blouse.

 

[XmisterIS]

Lol, I am so waiting to hear the end result.

Lol! I did just put one slide in with his name on it and I did just say, "Now I'll hand over to so-and-so who will tell you about such-and-such part of the project".

He ummed, ahed, dithered, flapped about, raised a few eyebrows and was entirely unable to answer questions at the end of his bit. He tried passing the questions over to me (utter bastard), each time I just replied with, "I'm afraid I don't know, that's your field, not mine". If the guy's shoulders were any more sloping, he wouldn't have shoulders ...

 

[TVC]

I like a story with a happy ending.

So what happens next, does he see his faults and change his ways, or does he plan some half arsed revenge?.... stay tuned.

 

[Sam Kennedy]

I wish I could say I was offered a professional cycling contract, but I can't

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

I DO NOT GIVE A FLYING **** ABOUT CAR INSURANCE OR THE LATEST CHELSEA TRACTOR/PENIS EXTENTION FOR SALE, *GIVE ME ADVERTS THAT I REALLY WANT TO SEE!!*


* - A contradiction in terms, I know, but anyway.

 

[carolonabike]

To my work colleague sitting next to me

Also, please stop saying "I done" and "we was". It makes me want to smack your head off the wall. "

I feel better now

She has just said " the one's who come and done an assessment "

This makes no sense. Is it even English?

 

[Browser]

I know your name isn't 'Sharon' because I can hear the Indian lilt to your voice, so why, when you ring me from your call centre on the ancient and historic Indian sub-continent, do you insist on calling yourself this?

Oh, another one.


No, five miles is not 'miles and miles' away on a bike you pathetic, limp, cage-bound walking heart attack, get on a bike and do some miles!!!

 

[colly]

No I can not do the work with any less material. If I only needed 6.2meters I would say so. Just because that is the amount you have bought cheap from your posh friend doesn't mean it is enough to do the job you want doing.

If I say it will need 8 meters of fabric it WILL need 8meters, and taking it away striping it down and ''seeing'' if I can make do with less is NOT an option you dozy tart.

Also:

Why the f*** don't you or any of your halfwit neighbours have numbers on your doors? How the f*** do you expect anyone to arrive at the correct door if nobody can be ars*d to put a simple number up?

 

[Moodyman]

Damn you're so pretty.

I could look at you all day. In fact, I do, that's why I never get any work done.

 

[Moodyman]

I know your name isn't 'Sharon' because I can hear the Indian lilt to your voice, so why, when you ring me from your call centre on the ancient and historic Indian sub-continent, do you insist on calling yourself this?

Oh, another one.


No, five miles is not 'miles and miles' away on a bike you pathetic, limp, cage-bound walking heart attack, get on a bike and do some miles!!!

Like it. I've had this too. 'You're spee king to Jooooleya, How cane I help yoo'

 

[Jezston]

Bit of a dark and serious one this one, but need to get it out of my system. If you are expecting something lighthearted, please move on to the next entry!

If however you like a bit of drama and real dispondent rage, read on.


To my ... EDIT I can't put this stuff online.

 

[Spinney]

Damn you're so pretty.

I could look at you all day. In fact, I do, that's why I never get any work done.

On any other forum, one would assume this was referring to a person of the opposite gender.

On this one, though, it is just as likely to be a bike!

 

[XmisterIS]

Do you want to see my elephant?

 

[alicat]

I'm not interested in hearing that you work for two teams and that other things take priority over the job I have been asking you politely to do for two months. If you did less of the things that are not in your job description ie constantly complaining about your colleagues' lack of consideration towards you; swearing and going on ciggie breaks, you might have more time to get on with with your job and we might rub along together better .....

and breathe!

 

[Bluebell72]

What do you mean you're not going to pay me?

If you'd told me you weren't going to pay me, I wouldn't have agreed to do the job. And I don't care how it looks on the clients paperwork.

Don't ring me to do another job, ever.