This mortality thing.

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jonny jeez

Legendary Member
Interesting thread.

I can't say that I think about death but I am mindful that when I was a kid, old age was a million miles away, my relationships were considered long if they lasted more than a couple of months and a year at school felt like a lifetime of its own. Seasons passed slowly and were filled with mostly carefree abandon.

Now, old age feels a lot more visible although I feel that I am a good 25 years away from what I consider to be old. However, I am spending a lot of time trying to decide how best to spend that time. I could, in reality, retire before I am 50 and live debt free, with a pension and potentially some rent coming in (if I sell up everything). Or I could get back on the debt horse for another 20 years and upgrade my property, buy some stuff and worry about having to maintain these debts for another 20 years.

It's a nice choice to have to make but a worrying one in its own way.
 

vernon

Harder than Ronnie Pickering
Location
Meanwood, Leeds
I can't say that I think about death but I am mindful that when I was a kid, old age was a million miles away, my relationships were considered long if they lasted more than a couple of months and a year at school felt like a lifetime of its own. Seasons passed slowly and were filled with mostly carefree abandon.

Now, old age feels a lot more visible

Time’s Paces (Lines on a Clock in Chester Cathedral)

When as a child, I laughed and wept,
Time crept.
When as a youth, I dreamt and talked,
Time walked.
When I became a full-grown man,
Time ran.
When older still I daily grew,
Time flew.
Soon I shall find on travelling on –
Time gone.
O Christ, wilt Thou have saved me then?
Amen

Henry Twells (1823-1900)
 

colly

Re member eR
Location
Leeds
I had an experience when I knew I was going to die. There was no doubt and it was going to be horrible.
What surprised me was there was no fear, I was apprehensive about the horribleness of it of course but the abiding feeling was once of terrific disappointment.
Disappointment that it was over, that I would never get to do things I had promised myself I would do and most of all disappointment that I would never be able to say all those things that we should to loved ones.
 

Bazzer

Setting the controls for the heart of the sun.
It wasn't something I had considered, except in very rare moments, but a bike accident at the beginning of July, when riding solo in the dark, which left me with a leg broken in two places, lying in the middle of a road on a bend and unable to move out of the way of traffic has brought mortality much closer to the forefront of my mind.
 

rich p

ridiculous old lush
Location
Brighton
@threebikesmcginty
Death, where is thy Bono...

ahem, Death, where is thy Sting...
 

Flying_Monkey

Recyclist
Location
Odawa
This is a good thread. People could do with thinking about death earlier more often, then they wouldn't be so miserable about it or scared. My 5-year old son is very interested in death right now, since his grandma died two years ago, and one of his cats, earlier this year. He has become very curious about who in his immediate family has died, and when, what were their names and what they were like. We just talk to him about it normally, with no euphemisms or baby-talk, and he takes it all in his stride. Of course, he doesn't want us, or his other cat, to die any time soon, but he isn't anxious about it. I think the best thing is to talk about death as soon as kids become interested in it, and make that a normal thing to discuss.
 
D

Deleted member 1258

Guest
According to the time clock I've been living on borrowed time for the last eight years, which could be right, I had a close encounter with angina in 2008, I know I'll die sometime the only thing I wish for is it to be quick and pain free.
 

ianrauk

Tattooed Beat Messiah
Location
Rides Ti2
This is a good thread. People could do with thinking about death earlier more often, then they wouldn't be so miserable about it or scared. My 5-year old son is very interested in death right now, since his grandma died two years ago, and one of his cats, earlier this year. He has become very curious about who in his immediate family has died, and when, what were their names and what they were like. We just talk to him about it normally, with no euphemisms or baby-talk, and he takes it all in his stride. Of course, he doesn't want us, or his other cat, to die any time soon, but he isn't anxious about it. I think the best thing is to talk about death as soon as kids become interested in it, and make that a normal thing to discuss.


Little H is asking the same at the moment and as you know, he's the same age as your boy. He has been wondering why he only has one grandparent (his nan) when his best friend has 4. He does know about my parents as there are a good few pics of them around the house. I have always spoken to him about my mum and dad and Mrs Ian's dad, how, why and when they died and get the usual questions in return, what is cancer? will he die, will we (his parents) die? Like you it's all explained to him in a normal way.
 
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Location
Northampton
Little H is asking the same at the moment and as you know, he's the same age as your boy. He has been wondering why he only has one grandparent (his nan) when his best friend has 4. He does knows about my parents as there are a good few pics of them around the house. I have always spoken to him about my mum and day and Mrs Ian's dad, how, why and when they died and get the usual questions in return, what is cancer? will he die, will we (his parents) die? Like you it's all explained to him in a normal way.

Interesting. Can I ask, do you think your son understand that once you are dead, you do not come back?
 

ianrauk

Tattooed Beat Messiah
Location
Rides Ti2
Interesting. Can I ask, do you think your son understand that once you are dead, you do not come back?


Yes he does. He knows that dead people won't come back. One of our neighbours died recently. He did ask if he has gone to heaven like my mum and dad. When I said yes, he said "so we won't see him ever again". But at this age it doesn't bother him at all.. he just says ok and carries on doing what he is doing at the time.
 
Thought about it after seeing those known to my parents going thru much pain. Best to have a clear as possible an advanced decision / advanced medical directive / living will. Never retire fully, occupy yourself daily with an activity that requires you to deliver a task or do an activity that benefits others. Have a long term challenge - build a boat, restore a vintage bike, paint rooms at old folks homes etc. By then you will be too occupied mentally to even bother worrying as the years go by.

Have an elderly aunt who joined a group of retirees who have daily serious "meetings" on the performance of their shares / investment. Never seen her more alert, active and excited. If she keels over, it will be the excitement and what a wonderful way to go.
 
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