Vikeonabike
CC Neighbourhood Police Constable
- Location
- Bourne, Lincolnshire
Teaspoon....didn't have a screwdriver!
Today I fixed my bike with a ............
- Thread starter Vikeonabike
- Start date
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NormanD
Lunatic Asylum Escapee
- Location
- Heworth the other side of life!
A true bike mechanic 
rockyraccoon
Veteran
MacGyver!
No, MacGyver would have converted it into a helicopter.
Browser
Guru
- Location
- Crowland, Lincolnshire, UK.
DId anyone happen past as you were doign this? If it had been me a gaggle of kids on £99 full-suspension MTBs would have blazed past, taking the mick as they did so!
Amanda P
Legendary Member
- Location
- York. Well, York-ish...
Here's the mental video I'm getting.
Vike's out on patrol, on a police-spec superbike with every conceivable bit of equipment in his panniers. His cop's uncannily acute hearing picks up something rubbing that shouldn't be. He reaches to the pouch on his belt which should contain a multitool or Leatherman or something. Nope, it's not there. Handcuffs, yes. Pepper spray, yep. Side-handled baton, check. Rolled-up copy of The Sun, ... oops, but yes. Leatherman? No.
So he unpacks his panniers, laying out on the pavement a fascinating array of equipment. Parachute, rubber dinghy, first aid kit, AED, inflatable traffic cones, rubber chicken, gimp suit etc etc, but still no screwdriver. What to do?
A light bulb goes on over his head and he produces a teaspoon from an inside pocket, stamped with a little Constabulary crest, or possibly marked STOLEN FROM HM PRISON DARTMOOR. In a trice, the rubbing is fixed, and after a mere half-hour or so packing up all the equipment, he's back on his way, accompanied by the theme tune from Dixon of Dock Green.
Vike's out on patrol, on a police-spec superbike with every conceivable bit of equipment in his panniers. His cop's uncannily acute hearing picks up something rubbing that shouldn't be. He reaches to the pouch on his belt which should contain a multitool or Leatherman or something. Nope, it's not there. Handcuffs, yes. Pepper spray, yep. Side-handled baton, check. Rolled-up copy of The Sun, ... oops, but yes. Leatherman? No.
So he unpacks his panniers, laying out on the pavement a fascinating array of equipment. Parachute, rubber dinghy, first aid kit, AED, inflatable traffic cones, rubber chicken, gimp suit etc etc, but still no screwdriver. What to do?
A light bulb goes on over his head and he produces a teaspoon from an inside pocket, stamped with a little Constabulary crest, or possibly marked STOLEN FROM HM PRISON DARTMOOR. In a trice, the rubbing is fixed, and after a mere half-hour or so packing up all the equipment, he's back on his way, accompanied by the theme tune from Dixon of Dock Green.
jonny jeez
Legendary Member
- Location
- Chislehurst, Kent, UK
OP
OP
Vikeonabike
CC Neighbourhood Police Constable
- Location
- Bourne, Lincolnshire
BentMikey
Rider of Seolferwulf
- Location
- South London
I'm slightly disappointed you weren't equipped either with said Leatherman, or at least a titanium spork.
mark barker
New Member
- Location
- Swindon, Wilts
Dare I ask why you carry a tea spoon with you?
Riding in Circles
Veteran
- Location
- EDINBURGH
They have replaced the baton, as crims now all have knives it was decided that the baton had become ineffective so after a £4m study and consultation of various loony left groups who think the world is all bunnies and kittens, they replaced the baton with the combat tea spoon.
OP
OP
Vikeonabike
CC Neighbourhood Police Constable
- Location
- Bourne, Lincolnshire
It just happened to be in my lunchbox..... If I hadn't have taken yoghurt in with me I'd have been stuffed! (?)
Arch
Married to Night Train
- Location
- Salford, UK
Excellent indeed!
I know that the Spork has achieved an almost religious icon status over on YACF, perhaps it's time to introduce the Spork with screwdriver head at the end of the handle...
It's a nice thought, that Occifers of the Law could be carrying teaspoons. Like asking the time, and directions, you could always rely on them to stir your tea for you.
