Tour De France - notre Equipe

[Speicher]

Garmin Chip-pottoftea have a recipe for home-made rice cakes. Does Cathryn's mum know how to make them?

 

[rich p]

Garmin Chip-pottoftea have a recipe for home-made rice cakes. Does Cathryn's mum know how to make them?

She's stilll busy with Directeur d'Autres Affaires but we'll be finished soon.


Talking of autres affaires, I've lined up a couple of podium girls but not for the riders in case they get tired. Noodley will be allocating them later

 

[Dayvo]

I've lined up a couple of podium girls but not for the riders in case they get tired. Noodley will be allocating them later

One will be 'enuff' this time, thank you!

 

[Noodley]

Bad news chaps, looks like one of the team has tested positive for a banned substance I'll see if I can get it sorted out...you'd better bloody appreciate all my efforts.

 

[Noodley]

Right, I got it sorted easy enough but one of the team has to get sent home just to make sure it's all smoothed over...turns out there was an excess of caffeine in just about everyone's samples, so Lord of the Teapot has to be sacrificed for the good of the team. So LotT get yer bags packed and have a few weeks holiday; it was either you or Cathryn's mum. And I ain't gonna get rid of her!

And from here on in, no more bloody Tea! Beer and Jack Daniels. Oh no, wait a minute that ended in diasaster last time someone tried that as well...just stick to water and Orange Barley water like those nice tennis chaps.

 

[Vapin' Joe]

Bad news chaps, looks like one of the team has tested positive for a banned substance I'll see if I can get it sorted out...you'd better bloody appreciate all my efforts.

Well, whatever the substance is it can't be "Talent" because no-one has shown the slightest sign of having any of that in their systems.

BTW, can I have a new lump hammer? Someone's nicked mine and I need to get the wheels trued before tomorrow's mountain stage.

 

[Noodley]

Ok, new hammer on it's way.

I think we'll start seeing results now we have a proper drink for the riders - Orange Barley water will see us prosper, I believe.

 

[Dayvo]

Just make sure you don't confuse it with the sample bottles, you lot!

You'll be spitting, not swallowing!

 

[Aperitif]

I am pleased to report that the sponsors are to increase the bonus to DS Noodley for his quick actions regarding the doping scandal. The former nutritionist of Caisse D'Thé was welcomed into the folder as an upstanding figure (bit like Dayvo with the podiumettes and rich p with an older woman on a good day) but he has done something awful - PG rated - and deserves to be shopped. Coffee shopped.
He will be removed forthwith to the sponsor's yacht in Nice, where the Board are enjoying a bit of entertainment kindly provided by Dayvo.
There was also a short message of support for team Cyclechatta & Nottanutha Glasobeer Todrink from none other than Sean Kelly. He said..

"OI downt knoozvbfrf err Vfhhdoooorddv flffl lffdlf err roide gittawai dis goinf ordewin err descending...he'll erm"
Thanks Sean. We think that he is commenting on the blacksmithing talents of Smokin Joe - 'The Fishguard Fabricator' - as he has become known. Putting the hammer down takes on a whole new meaning in 2008. Allez!

 

[Will1985]

With all this rain, the kit doesn't wash itself you know!!

 

[Noodley]

With all this rain, the kit doesn't wash itself you know!!

Was it you who put Spandex up to asking for an umbrella during today's stage?

 

[mondobongo]

Is it too much to ask for round wheels for the mountains tomorrow, Joes a nice fella and all that but truing wheels with the hammer is so 1970's.

 

[Vapin' Joe]

Is it too much to ask for round wheels for the mountains tomorrow, Joes a nice fella and all that but truing wheels with the hammer is so 1970's.

Listen pal, I saw Sean kelly himself showing one of my wheels to Bernard Hianult today and smiling approvingly as he squeezed the spokes. The great French champion was shaking his head in disbelief at the quality and kept saying, "Merdi, merdi" over and over again.

I don't speak all that foreign stuff but I asked one of the Frenchies who is intelligent enough to speak English and he said it means "Magnificent". So instead of whining about the wheels, if you lot rode them properly then the spokes wouldn't keep breaking. I didn't do a five year apprenticeship at Grimsdales Iron Bicycle Company to listen to you lot complaining all day, you know.

 

[Dayvo]

With all this rain, the kit doesn't wash itself you know!!

Well, I was waiting for somone to mention the kit!

ONE week on and they still haven't been near a washing machine! I bet you all sleep in them after the day's stage, as well!

And please make sure that you synchronise the kit! There are blue days, and there are black days, don't mix 'n' match, it looks sooo amateur!

And it's cycling caps under the helmets, please. No smart-arses, thank you.

Tomorrow's Sunday, but no let up; if you're lucky, I'll show you what a podium girl looks like (for most some of you, it'll be the nearest you get to one!).

Anyway, have a good night's rest after Speicher and Waffles have finished with you.

 

[tdr1nka]

As regards the team sleeping in their kit, I have changed the hay in the back of the bus and recommend riders turn their kit inside out every other day
in order to get more wear out of them.

Forgive me deviating from my role in the crew but as this team is quite obviously as mad as a pig on a stick, my job is fairly academic, albeit the case notes will be very useful for my PHD. Thanks guys!