Translation required: Mtn Bike Speak to English

[Kestevan]

At the price they charge for the mag I'll read the bloody thing three times....

But I agree it's a foetid sack of rancid monkey spunk.

 

[e-rider]

In MBR mag this month they are boasting about selling broken bike parts on ebay and ripping people off - shameful behaviour from a bike mag.

 

[trustysteed]

But I agree it's a foetid sack of rancid monkey spunk.

voice of experience?

 

[darkstar]

At the price they charge for the mag I'll read the bloody thing three times....

But I agree it's a foetid sack of rancid monkey spunk.

Ewwww
But how old are you? As i said before it's a generation thing, like the older person probably wouldn't buy an issue of Nuts or Loaded, and a younger person wouldn't buy a copy of "I'm old, grumpy, from Yorkshire and therefore hate everything"

 

[marzjennings]

I had to explain 'baby heads' to my wife the other week after running over and nearly crashing on a bunch half way down a technical rock garden.

'baby heads'; rocks the size of a baby's head.

My favourite phrase is 'yard sale' for a really nasty crash.

 

[Crackle]

At the price they charge for the mag I'll read the bloody thing three times....

But I agree it's a foetid sack of rancid monkey spunk.

Exactly and exactly. It does have a reasonable light test in it though. I suspect they keep older gnarlier people with brains for the technical reviews and leave the writing to the chimps.

 

[Kestevan]

"I'm old, grumpy, from Yorkshire and therefore hate everything" - Have we met?

I like you Darkstar - you remind me of me, when I was young and stupid.

 

[andy_wrx]

You might be amused by this thread on BR...
http://www.bikeradar.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=12615934

 

[darkstar]

"I'm old, grumpy, from Yorkshire and therefore hate everything" - Have we met?

I like you Darkstar - you remind me of me, when I was young and stupid.

it was the best comeback i could think of!

 

[andy_wrx]

And from this article
http://www.absoluteastronomy.com/topics/MBUK#encyclopedia

Future Publishing's readership demographics research has indicated the magazine's readership to be 98% male, with an average age of 24.5 and an average income of £36,000.

Even allowing for inflation, that wasn't my salary when I was that young...

 

[Crackle]

And from this article
http://www.absoluteastronomy.com/topics/MBUK#encyclopedia

Even allowing for inflation, that wasn't my salary when I was that young...

So it's aimed at trainee stockbrokers. Well if that's the demographic I understand completely why I don't get it.

 

[Brains]

I bought a copy of Mountain Biking and I need some help. It's written in some kind of English but not one I understand. For instance

"A rocker-driven shock is mounted very low in the frame"

It's a 1955 framed picture of Elvis.

 

[Rhythm Thief]

And from this article
http://www.absoluteastronomy.com/topics/MBUK#encyclopedia

Future Publishing's readership demographics research has indicated the magazine's readership to be 98% male, with an average age of 24.5 and an average income of £36,000.

Even allowing for inflation, that wasn't my salary when I was that young...

It's considerably more than my salary now, and I'm 37. Not that I've got the smallest desire to go mountain biking, since it strikes me as unutterably dull anyway.

 

[Panter]

I bought a copy of Mountain Biking and I need some help. It's written in some kind of English but not one I understand. For instance

"I hit the big lines straight away and busted out some big motowhips"

or

"...so scout around before busting suicide jumps"

even the technical reviews are unfathomable

"A rocker-driven shock is mounted very low in the frame, reminiscent of Commencal's Super 4", Who?

Apparently 2010 will also bring a new range of decadent kit.

I could go on and on and on. Would it be fair to say I'm not their target audience, have I just wasted £4.20 and 30 minutes of my life?

Why did you buy it though?

No criticisism, purely curious. I assume you aren't a MTB'r?

 

[Panter]

It's considerably more than my salary now, and I'm 37. Not that I've got the smallest desire to go mountain biking, since it strikes me as unutterably dull anyway.

It's not dull, honestly

Scary, huge fun, awe inspiring, frustrating, painful, exhilerating, depressing, exciting, maybe, but not dull