1) My GF's dad was at the funeral of one of his aged relatives recently; he had his satnav in his pocket but had forgotten to switch it off. Just as the pall bearers brought the coffin down the aisle of the church, his satnav loudly said, "You have reached your final destination". 2) A friend said she went to visit a couple who have recently moved house. They said, "The place is such a state! We really need to redecorate the whole thing". As my friend walked around the house, she said, "You know, it's not too bad actually". Then she walked in the the living room and said, "Ah! I see what you mean. I looks like someone has vomited flowers all over the walls!" There was then an uncomfortable pause, after which the lady of the house tersely said, "This is the only room we've redecorated so far!"