van morrison vs. jools holland

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by Abitrary, 25 Apr 2008.

  1. Abitrary

    Abitrary New Member

    Was just enjoying, or trying to enjoy at least, van morrison...

    I don't even like him, he is possibly the most overrated singer ever. He doesn't even have any charm, or humour. Just a voice like an 1980's stereo with all the middle bits of the graphic equalizer turned up.

    And then when Jools Holland starts playing piano along with him, in his shitty crap honky tonky way, it just makes me feel like the world is going to end.

    -The economy is melting.
    -Iran are going to bomb israel in about 3 minutes
    -The US are going to bomb iran back
    -This weather is shite
    -There's no more food
    -There's no more petrol (wait and see)

    And the minute Jools ****ing holland think he can make life better by playing shite piano along as a soundtrack IS THE DAY I ****ING DIE.
  2. THANK YOU!!!! For exposing two of the biggest myths of the music world! Van - miserable old stuck up his own ass sixties throwback.
    And as for Holland, he was the least talented member of Squeeze who somehow managed to get himself onto the telly. Everytime he plays that fekkin plinky plonk fekkin piano I want to shoot myself in the head with a crossbow, armed with a dum-dum bullet. I chose a crossbow because this would be more painful than being shot with a gun, and that is more preferable to listening to the little gimp who provided the voice for Zippy out of Rainbow.
    And relax.........:biggrin:
  3. I agree entirely with both of you. Can't stand either of them. My girlfriend really fancies JH though, and I'm at a loss to understand why.
  4. OP

    Abitrary New Member

    The intersection of jools holland and van morrison aside, I think we are truly buggered. Those guys were nothing more than the sandwich board cartoon.

    Have you heard the wind, read the papers? We're ****ed.
  5. OP

    Abitrary New Member

    No, we can forgive holland for squeeze, and music, and lyrics like this:

    "I got a job with stanley, he's said I'd come in handy, he started me on monday, so I had a bath on sunday"

  6. Fnaar

    Fnaar Smutmaster General

    Nay nay and thrice nay... Van is a bit pants in the last decade, but has done some amazing stuff in his career, curmudgeon that he may be. And Jools may not be the best/wittiest presenter ever, and occasionally his playing is a parody of itself, but I sure wish I could tickle the ivories like he can! He's a very accomplished musician, actually, so muuuurr:smile:
  7. sheddy

    sheddy Guru

    Just don't ask JH to sing - ever
  8. Flying_Monkey

    Flying_Monkey Toll Collector on the Road to Nowhere

    Abitrary, Tony suddenly I love you both... there are very few 'singers' I hate more than Van Morrison, and very few piano players I find more unlistenable than Holland.
  9. tdr1nka

    tdr1nka Taking the biscuit

    Van Morrison has always makes me slip into an agitated coma more so since he became a cross between a drunk Uncle at a wedding and Danny Devito.

    Jools is a fine musician, Squeeze were a brilliant group and I feel although he isn't the most enigmatic man alive, he's a Sarf Londoner done good.
    (Can't listen to much of his stuff for too long it has to be said)
  10. yello

    yello Legendary Member

    Whilst neither are my thing, there are worse evils in the world.

    Iran v US over Israel being one. Still, the sun is still shining, the bread lady's just been and delivered the mother of all pain aux raisins and the coffee's just brewing... life in insulated isolation doesn't get much better!
  11. Andy in Sig

    Andy in Sig Vice President in Exile

    At last I'm in an oppressed minority group all of my own!:biggrin:

    This is because I quite like Jools Holland and have even got a couple of his R'n'B albums which he did with a sort of biggish band. I shall now go on to Amazon and order a couple more. The revolution starts here!
  12. Fab Foodie

    Fab Foodie hanging-on in quiet desperation ...

    I like both...I'm right behind you!
  13. I thought Difford and Tilbrook wrote that, as they did most Squeeze songs? Jules just sat there playing his fekkin plink plonk piano and gurning like fekkin Zippy out of Rainbow, and another...
    Look! You've gone and wound me up again!;)
  14. numbnuts

    numbnuts Legendary Member

    North Baddesley
    I like Van Morrison.... Well some one has too:biggrin:
  15. killiekosmos

    killiekosmos Über Member

    I like some of Van the Man's early stuff and my wife is my Brown Eyed Girl. The issue is he is a musician and that's all. I don't care to hear him talk or want his views on anything. Same with Jools - just play.

    After all we wouldn't ask Wayne Rooney about the ancient Greek philosophers.
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