Very good article on depression (esp. for those who have never suffered) ....

[Fab Foodie]

A very interesting and alarmingly true article...some of those symptoms sneak in, you don't even realise its happening.
I once remember physically laughing out loud at something on TV during what were dark times for me.
As I laughed for a few seconds at what was very funny, it suddenly dawned on me...I can't remember the last time I'd laughed at anything.
I nearly cried with the realisation....
Hope all goes well for anyone suffering.

I managed to laugh on Monday in a way I hadn't for quite a while.

 

[Pat "5mph"]

This post shows that people really do not understand depression.
When you are suffering you have no wish to do anything at all. It's not a holiday, and there is no bright side.

So very true: I'm not a sufferer, many in my family are though.
I sympathize @Fab Foodie ... and I'm normally a right unsympathetic basteward!

 

[hopless500]

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/apr/19/depression-awareness-mental-illness-feel-like

What does depression feel like? Trust me – you really don’t want to know Tim Lott

Darker than grief, an implosion of the self, a sheet of ice: no matter how you describe it, this is a terrifying state to be trapped in Tuesday 19 April 2016 20.05 BST
T his is Depression Awareness Week, so it must be hoped that during this seven-day period more people will become more aware of a condition that a minority experience, and which most others grasp only remotely – confusing it with more familiar feelings, such as unhappiness or misery.

This perception is to some extent shared by the medical community, which can’t quite make its mind up whether depression is a physical “illness”, rooted in neurochemistry, or a negative habit of thought that can be addressed by talking or behavioural therapies.
I’m not concerned about which of these two models is the more accurate. I’m still not sure myself. My primary task here is to try to explain something that remains so little understood as an experience – despite the endless books and articles on the subject. Because if the outsider cannot really conceptualise serious depression, the 97.5% who do not suffer from it will be unable to really sympathise, address it or take it seriously.
From the outside it may look like malingering, bad temper and ugly behaviour – and who can empathise with such unattractive traits? Depression is actually much more complex, nuanced and dark than unhappiness – more like an implosion of self. In a serious state of depression, you become a sort of half-living ghost. To give an idea of how distressing this is, I can only say that the trauma of losing my mother when I was 31 – to suicide, sadly – was considerably less than what I had endured during the years prior to her death, when I was suffering from depression myself (I had recovered by the time of her death).

So how is this misleadingly named curse different from recognisable grief? For a start, it can produce symptoms similar to Alzheimer’s – forgetfulness, confusion and disorientation. Making even the smallest decisions can be agonising. It can affect not just the mind but also the body – I start to stumble when I walk, or become unable to walk in a straight line. I am more clumsy and accident-prone. In depression you become, in your head, two-dimensional – like a drawing rather than a living, breathing creature. You cannot conjure your actual personality, which you can remember only vaguely, in a theoretical sense. You live in, or close to, a state of perpetual fear, although you are not sure what it is you are afraid of. The writer William Styron called it a “brainstorm”, which is much more accurate than “unhappiness”. 4/20/2016 What does depression feel like? Trust me – you really don’t want to know | Tim Lott | Opinion | The Guardian http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/apr/19/depressionawarenessmentalillnessfeellike 2/3

There is a heavy, leaden feeling in your chest, rather as when someone you love dearly has died; but no one has – except, perhaps, you. You feel acutely alone. It is commonly described as being like viewing the world through a sheet of plate glass; it would be more accurate to say a sheet of thick, semi-opaque ice.

Thus your personality – the normal, accustomed “you” – has changed. But crucially, although near-apocalyptic from the inside, this transformation is barely perceptible to the observer – except for, perhaps, a certain withdrawnness, or increased anger and irritability. Viewed from the outside – the wall of skin and the windows of eyes – everything remains familiar. Inside, there is a dark storm. Sometimes you may have the overwhelming desire to stand in the street and scream at the top of your voice, for no particular reason (the writer Andrew Solomon described it as “like wanting to vomit but not having a mouth”).

Other negative emotions – self-pity, guilt, apathy, pessimism, narcissism – make it a deeply unattractive illness to be around, one that requires unusual levels of understanding and tolerance from family and friends. For all its horrors, it is not naturally evocative of sympathy. Apart from being mistaken for someone who might be a miserable, loveless killjoy, one also has to face the fact that one might be a bit, well, crazy – one of the people who can’t be trusted to be reliable parents, partners, or even employees. So to the list of predictable torments, shame can be added.

There is a paradox here. You want the illness acknowledged but you also want to deny it, because it has a bad reputation. When I am well, which is most of the time, I am (I think) jocular, empathetic, curious, well-adjusted, open and friendly. Many very personable entertainers and “creatives” likewise suffer depression, although in fact the only group of artists who actually suffer it disproportionately are – you guessed it – writers.

There are positive things about depression, I suppose. It has helped give me a career (without suffering depression I would never have examined my life closely enough to become a writer). And above all, depression, in nearly all cases, sooner or later lifts, and you become “normal” again. Not that anyone but you will necessarily notice.

But on the whole it’s a horror, and it’s real, and it deserves sympathy and help. However, in the world we live in, that remains easier to say than do. We don’t understand depression partly because it’s hard to imagine – but also, perhaps, because we don’t want to understand it.

I have a suspicion that society, in its heart of hearts, despises depressives because it knows they have a point: the recognition that life is finite and sad and frightening – as well as those more sanctioned outlooks, joyful and exciting and complex and satisfying. There is a secret feeling most people enjoy that everything, at a fundamental level, is basically OK. Depressives suffer the withdrawal of that feeling, and it is frightening not only to experience but to witness.

Admittedly, severely depressed people can connect only tenuously with reality, but repeated studies have shown that mild to moderate depressives have a more realistic take on life than most “normal” people, a phenomenon known as “depressive realism”. As Neel Burton, author of The Meaning of Madness, put it, this is “the healthy suspicion that modern life has no meaning and that modern society is absurd and alienating”. In a 4/20/2016 What does depression feel like? Trust me – you really don’t want to know | Tim Lott | Opinion | The Guardian http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/apr/19/depressionawarenessmentalillnessfeellike 3/3 More comment Topics Depression Mental health Health Save for later Article saved Reuse this content goal-driven, work-oriented culture, this is deeply threatening.

This viewpoint can have a paralysing grip on depressives, sometimes to a psychotic extent – but perhaps it haunts everyone. And therefore the bulk of the unafflicted population may never really understand depression. Not only because they (understandably) lack the imagination, and (unforgivably) fail to trust in the experience of the sufferer – but because, when push comes to shove, they don’t want to understand. It’s just too … well, depressing.

I used to work at Boots Pharmaceuticals. On antidepressants among other things. When I got signed off for 6 months they all told me they saw it... I wish someone had said something and tried to help. It's way off the scale of explaining.
When I got back we had an article in a medical journal where the sufferer/author explained it so well. Still can't remember his name

 

[srw]

This post shows that people really do not understand depression.
When you are suffering you have no wish to do anything at all. It's not a holiday, and there is no bright side.

You might want to avoid jumping to conclusions. I do understand depression and anxiety, having suffered from both at various levels of intensity off and on for at least 25 years - and in retrospect probably much longer. Only last weekend I stopped taking an SSRI myself after very nearly two years.

I have met Fabbers a number of times, and because I have seen his posts over the last couple of days where he has been drinking beer and cycling with a mutual friend I thought (rightly, I think), that it would be seen as a supportive rather than dismissive gesture.

 

[srw]

I managed to laugh on Monday in a way I hadn't for quite a while.

Yes, @theclaud has that effect on people.

 

[recycling]

You might want to avoid jumping to conclusions. I do understand depression and anxiety, having suffered from both at various levels of intensity off and on for at least 25 years - and in retrospect probably much longer. Only last weekend I stopped taking an SSRI myself after very nearly two years.

I have met Fabbers a number of times, and because I have seen his posts over the last couple of days where he has been drinking beer and cycling with a mutual friend I thought (rightly, I think), that it would be seen as a supportive rather than dismissive gesture.

I apologise. I did not understand your relationship.

 

[srw]

I apologise. I did not understand your relationship.

Understood.

 

[Flying_Monkey]

It is an eye-opener to see how many people here suffer from depression (see the other, more general thread on depression). I have also suffered for years, including bouts of suicidal depression (though thankfully I have not experienced that severe degree for almost 15 years now). I've found that exercise, including cycling, is one of the best preventative mechanisms, along with meditation and routine. Discipline, in short, whether internal or external. I've managed to avoid taking any medication at all, although that's not advice or a recommendation for anyone else, it's a personal choice.

 

[Crackle]

Good luck Fabbers.

I'll echo that.

 

[Fab Foodie]

It is an eye-opener to see how many people here suffer from depression (see the other, more general thread on depression). I have also suffered for years, including bouts of suicidal depression (though thankfully I have not experienced that severe degree for almost 15 years now). I've found that exercise, including cycling, is one of the best preventative mechanisms, along with meditation and routine. Discipline, in short, whether internal or external. I've managed to avoid taking any medication at all, although that's not advice or a recommendation for anyone else, it's a personal choice.

Regarding the numbers here that suffer, I have a theory that people with depression are drawn to cycling and possibly jogging due to the repetitive nature of the exercise and the ability to participate alone. On the turbo (and sometimes out on the road on my own) I can almost get into a trance like state where it's all about turning the pedals and rhythm. Routine in my line of work is very difficult but I try to maintain certain habits to give each trip some semblance of order.
Very very tired today.

 

[Pat "5mph"]

I'm very lucky that, despite a family propensity for depression, I've never suffered from it. I have had to deal with it in the family though, and have seen the devastating effects.

It is something I would not wish on my worst enemy.

Several from my close family, mostly the women, suffer from deep depression, some have other mental health problems.
As it seems to start at various ages I used to be very conscious that it could hit me too. Thankfully it didn't. It is so widespread in my immediate family that both my brother and I choose not to have children.
All my best wishes to those on here that are fighting the battle: you will come through!

 

[Bazzer]

Regarding the numbers here that suffer, I have a theory that people with depression are drawn to cycling and possibly jogging due to the repetitive nature of the exercise and the ability to participate alone. On the turbo (and sometimes out on the road on my own) I can almost get into a trance like state where it's all about turning the pedals and rhythm. Routine in my line of work is very difficult but I try to maintain certain habits to give each trip some semblance of order.
Very very tired today.

At least you are getting either on the turbo or out on your bike. So easy to to go to work and at the end of the day disappear into a bottle of wine , chocolate or other comfort of choice.
Suffered from it for several years and probably for a lot longer than when first diagnosed. For various reasons expect be on meds for the rest of my life.
With hindsight, getting out on my bike helped me and when the black dog is barking at the door, it still does.
All the best.

 

[Hill Wimp]

Regarding the numbers here that suffer, I have a theory that people with depression are drawn to cycling and possibly jogging due to the repetitive nature of the exercise and the ability to participate alone. On the turbo (and sometimes out on the road on my own) I can almost get into a trance like state where it's all about turning the pedals and rhythm. Routine in my line of work is very difficult but I try to maintain certain habits to give each trip some semblance of order.
Very very tired today.

I don't think you are far wrong here. I am currently off work with Chronic Fatigue. I was initially on anti depressants but i stopped taking them as i was not too sure they were doing any good. I have good days and bad days fatigue wise which affects my mental state. On my down days such as today i retreat to repetitive tasks such as sewing or other crafts and on good days i have started to cycle again. For me it's the calmness these activities bring. I still have to think and concentrate but not about my illness which frequently attempts to dominate my mind. I can also recommend joining a meditation group. It diesn't work as well for me when i do it on my own but in a group it really makes a difference.

 

[albion]

Regarding the numbers here that suffer, I have a theory that people with depression are drawn to cycling and possibly jogging due to the repetitive nature of the exercise and the ability to participate alone. On the turbo (and sometimes out on the road on my own) I can almost get into a trance like state where it's all about turning the pedals and rhythm. Routine in my line of work is very difficult but I try to maintain certain habits to give each trip some semblance of order.
Very very tired today.

More likely it simply helps them perform better all round in life. I noticed that years ago, plus, until I discovered the cause of my overactive immune system reponse, it was mainly exercise that allowed me to contine to funtion cognitively.

That and coffee were life savers. There is plenty of proof about caffeine being beneficial. Here is another one for exercise.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencet...bsequent-cognitive-clarity-makes-smarter.html

 

[Fab Foodie]

This is good ....
http://www.commonwheel.org.uk/