G-Zero
Guru
- Location
- Kirkcudbright, SW Scotland
Particularly relevant at this time of year, but I find that on leaving a warm house, or office and heading out in to sub zero temperatures really sets my nose off running like a tap.
When the mind wandered, as it did during the traffic free monotony of the deep freeze commute home in the early hours of this morning, I got to thinking just how technical the clearing out of one’s nose can be.
I also wonder if this is a male dominated skill area, as at the risk of sounding like a braggart, Mrs G has never really been able to master the finer points of this art and I do feel that I have a certain prowess in this field.
I don’t try to be too ambitious, like when I’m out walking, or in the pub and can comfortably clear both nostrils at once, preferring to stick to one nostril at a time whilst on the bike.
All things being equal, with no one alongside me and no adverse side winds, my favoured method is :-
Starting with the left; in one fluid motion, while taking a normal breath, the left hand leaves the bar at the same time as the head is quickly turned to the left, the left thumb comes to rest on the side of the left nostril, effectively blocking it, while the left forefinger is hooked across the bridge of the nose for support.
By this point, the left elbow is being raised just enough to allow nasal contents to be sharply ejected under the left arm, followed by a gentle wipe with the back of the glove or sleeve, as the hand is returned to the bar.
Clearing the right nostril follows exactly the same routine, but all to the right, using the right hand.
I have experimented with other variations of the theme, such as occasionally clearing both left and right nostrils to one side, quickly swapping over the blocking and support functions of the thumb and forefinger, or on rarer occasions even ejecting over either of the shoulders.
When ‘under wheel’ conditions are particularly rough or slippery, I favour my weaker left hand for the clearing action and prefer my stronger right hand to maintain control of the bike.
Now as much as these alternatives can be effective, I do find myself strangely drawn back to my comfort zone and think that this is probably something to do with the method being fairly discreet and in keeping with my shy and retiring character.
I recently heard from a friend that the over shoulder technique can have a certain feel good factor to it, especially when accidentally, but perfectly timed, alongside cycle lane blockers, tailgating motons or pi$$taking yobs on street corners, however I couldn’t condone such practice.
If you’re still with me at this point, then you’re obviously not too disgusted with the theme, so I’d like to move on now to consistency, if I may
The clear, runny tap stuff, I find is the easiest to discharge with a fairly gentle, but quick, single blow, however the effort required rises exponentially as the viscosity increases and the green hue deepens; and if you don’t get this right you can end up with the dreaded long sticky streamers.
By themselves, streamers tend not to be too problematic, but depending on your speed and side wind strength, they have been known to take on a life of their own and can end up strung across your arms, your bars and occasionally even back in your face.
It’s at these times that you really need to concentrate on getting the discharge correct and a much deeper inhalation of breath is required, in anticipation of a prolonged or multiple blow. I also find that just the slightest amount of pressure from the forefinger, on the nostril to be cleared, reduces the diameter slightly and this can have a remarkable effect on the ejection power.
This is as far as my personal experience can take the topic, and I would suggest that for anything more complex that consideration should be given to safely stopping your bike and breaking a box of Kleenex out of your pannier.
When the mind wandered, as it did during the traffic free monotony of the deep freeze commute home in the early hours of this morning, I got to thinking just how technical the clearing out of one’s nose can be.
I also wonder if this is a male dominated skill area, as at the risk of sounding like a braggart, Mrs G has never really been able to master the finer points of this art and I do feel that I have a certain prowess in this field.
I don’t try to be too ambitious, like when I’m out walking, or in the pub and can comfortably clear both nostrils at once, preferring to stick to one nostril at a time whilst on the bike.
All things being equal, with no one alongside me and no adverse side winds, my favoured method is :-
Starting with the left; in one fluid motion, while taking a normal breath, the left hand leaves the bar at the same time as the head is quickly turned to the left, the left thumb comes to rest on the side of the left nostril, effectively blocking it, while the left forefinger is hooked across the bridge of the nose for support.
By this point, the left elbow is being raised just enough to allow nasal contents to be sharply ejected under the left arm, followed by a gentle wipe with the back of the glove or sleeve, as the hand is returned to the bar.
Clearing the right nostril follows exactly the same routine, but all to the right, using the right hand.
I have experimented with other variations of the theme, such as occasionally clearing both left and right nostrils to one side, quickly swapping over the blocking and support functions of the thumb and forefinger, or on rarer occasions even ejecting over either of the shoulders.
When ‘under wheel’ conditions are particularly rough or slippery, I favour my weaker left hand for the clearing action and prefer my stronger right hand to maintain control of the bike.
Now as much as these alternatives can be effective, I do find myself strangely drawn back to my comfort zone and think that this is probably something to do with the method being fairly discreet and in keeping with my shy and retiring character.
I recently heard from a friend that the over shoulder technique can have a certain feel good factor to it, especially when accidentally, but perfectly timed, alongside cycle lane blockers, tailgating motons or pi$$taking yobs on street corners, however I couldn’t condone such practice.
If you’re still with me at this point, then you’re obviously not too disgusted with the theme, so I’d like to move on now to consistency, if I may
The clear, runny tap stuff, I find is the easiest to discharge with a fairly gentle, but quick, single blow, however the effort required rises exponentially as the viscosity increases and the green hue deepens; and if you don’t get this right you can end up with the dreaded long sticky streamers.
By themselves, streamers tend not to be too problematic, but depending on your speed and side wind strength, they have been known to take on a life of their own and can end up strung across your arms, your bars and occasionally even back in your face.
It’s at these times that you really need to concentrate on getting the discharge correct and a much deeper inhalation of breath is required, in anticipation of a prolonged or multiple blow. I also find that just the slightest amount of pressure from the forefinger, on the nostril to be cleared, reduces the diameter slightly and this can have a remarkable effect on the ejection power.
This is as far as my personal experience can take the topic, and I would suggest that for anything more complex that consideration should be given to safely stopping your bike and breaking a box of Kleenex out of your pannier.
