Was I right to say what I did?

[phil_hg_uk]

buy the neighbour a bunch of flours

Are you going to batter him

 

[Arjimlad]

Very odd - there seems to be an imbalance of information in this - I'd go round with some flowers & apologise for upsetting, but say that this visitor in particular blocks your drive regularly and makes it awkward when you are coming home or when you need to get out in a hurry... the last thing you want to do is upset your neighbours and lose their friendship but if they could ask this visitor to avoid blocking you in you'd really appreciate it... etc...

Failing that, could you obtain the services of a local toddler's group and get them to ride scooters into the car next time it blocks you in ?

 

[andylaw79]

Really, so why didnt you?

Why didn't you treat your neighbour to a "modicum of courtesy and consideration" and talk to them about it first ...allowed them an opportunity to solve the problem in their own way. Instead you decided to challenge one of their friends (when it clearly wasnt inconveniencing you at all) and have now created a greater problem where one didnt exist.

listen to all those who will tell you that you were right and had every right if you wish...or take my word for it and realise that this is precisely the type of tiny little issue that will build into a full on feud...if you don't take the initiative.

I'm sorry If I sound like I'm digging at you, I don't mean to, but you asked for my opinion and I am not going to tell you that your wife is wrong if I really don't believe she is.

Don't just wallow in the pity of others that'll tell you "you had every right" and "you cant be walked over" that is just crap to feed your ego...if your ego needs feeding then listen to them all

...if it doesnt...fix the problem

A good point and well raised Jonny. No, you don't sound like your digging and my ego certainly doesn't need feeding. Maybe I could have talked to my neighbours first but rightly or wrongly I thought that, seeing as they were there at the time, a polite and civil word would have sufficed.

Surely a modicum of courtesy and consideration works both ways. As I've mentioned previously I wouldn't knowingly block someone's drive every time I turned up at a friend or relatives house so to do this repeatedly when there is usually always a space to park in front of our house is a lack of the former on their part, whether it's an inconvenience or not?

I am more than happy to try and clear the air with my neighbour and apologize if the course of my action was inappropriate but certainly not for asking what I did.

 

[User482]

Really, so why didnt you?

Why didn't you treat your neighbour to a "modicum of courtesy and consideration" and talk to them about it first ...allowed them an opportunity to solve the problem in their own way. Instead you decided to challenge one of their friends (when it clearly wasnt inconveniencing you at all) and have now created a greater problem where one didnt exist.

listen to all those who will tell you that you were right and had every right if you wish...or take my word for it and realise that this is precisely the type of tiny little issue that will build into a full on feud...if you don't take the initiative.

I'm sorry If I sound like I'm digging at you, I don't mean to, but you asked for my opinion and I am not going to tell you that your wife is wrong if I really don't believe she is.

Don't just wallow in the pity of others that'll tell you "you had every right" and "you cant be walked over" that is just crap to feed your ego...if your ego needs feeding then listen to them all

...if it doesnt...fix the problem

Here's the relevant bit of the OP:

"Excuse me, do you mind not parking over the driveway when you park up to visit?"

It's a polite request, that's all.

 

[Arch]

Normal or self-raising?

One bag of Spelt, and one of mis-spelt!

 

[Noodley]

Tell your neighbour that their visitor is a nobber. And they are nobbers too.

Everyone is a nobber. Bwahahahaha.

 

[Arch]

If it happens again, just get someone with a chainsaw to cut off the bit of the car that overhangs your gateway....

 

[Arch]

Or, slightly less damaging, draw a dotted 'cut here' line, complete with little scissors symbol...

 

[Archie_tect]

If it happens again, just get someone with a chainsaw to cut off the bit of the car that overhangs your gateway....

... but legally you must throw the bits back over the boundary that you chop off as they still own them.

 

[MontyVeda]

I agree with JohnnyJeez... pop round and sort it out.

When I was a lad we had an ongoing feud with our neighbour which went on for years. And could have been nipped in the bud if I was made to apologise for calling their son a 'fat bastard', or possibly an f*ing fat bastard. In my defence he was and aggressive pr*ck, but maybe I shouldn't have brought his weight into the initial altercation. As a result, I and my extended family hated our neighbours and they hated us... in fact thanks to them I hate all Welsh people*.

*not really, I have a couple of Tom Jones cd's and was huge fan of Shakey.

 

[fossyant]

Go and apologise with d lock in hand. Sorry about that, i will use this next time.

Sent from my HTC Desire using Tapatalk 2

 

[subaqua]

nothing wrong with the way that was handled, sounds polite and civil from you and also sounds like the neighbours visitor has a chip on their shoulder.

 

[Glover Fan]

You know you have a really bad neighbour when it ends up that 3 houses on either side end up coming together and state the issues at their doorstep.

They move out in no time at all.

Worked for us. I took physical threats and was squared up to for having the teremity to wheel my bicycle out of the garage which was below their "coach-house" and left dust marks from the garage floor on their "drive-way" - which is shared BTW!

I had relatives and friends who were threatened as well. They installed CCTV overlooking the entrance to our garage and even started on a girl aged 13 with special needs for accidently throwing a ball into their garden.

The most surprising aspect? The couple were in their 80's. The most vile people I have ever met and I was so glad when they moved out.

I really cannot explain what an awful feeling it is to have neighbours that you absolutely hate and detest.

 

[MontyVeda]

being nasty isn't something people 'grow' out of... as the old saying goes
"sweet can turn to sour but never the other way around."

 

[jonny jeez]

A good point and well raised Jonny. No, you don't sound like your digging and my ego certainly doesn't need feeding. Maybe I could have talked to my neighbours first but rightly or wrongly I thought that, seeing as they were there at the time, a polite and civil word would have sufficed.

Surely a modicum of courtesy and consideration works both ways. As I've mentioned previously I wouldn't knowingly block someone's drive every time I turned up at a friend or relatives house so to do this repeatedly when there is usually always a space to park in front of our house is a lack of the former on their part, whether it's an inconvenience or not?

I am more than happy to try and clear the air with my neighbour and apologize if the course of my action was inappropriate but certainly not for asking what I did.

Good for you (and for what its worth you dont strike me as the type who needs their ego to be fed at all).

Well done for being prepared to swallow your pride and make the first move. Personally I'd pop to the offy and invest in a bottlle of pap that I'd offer to break open when the friend is next around. Keep in mind how they perceive you..."grumpy chap sat in his car beeping his horn then having a go when he didn't even need to use the drive". Don't roll over tho (or be subservient), let them know what they did WAS annoying but that you were wrong to overreact

I'll bet money that once you are stood in front of them it'll be apologies all round and all will regret saying and acting the way they did. Plus, if you can pull the whole thing off well, your wife will have a additional respect for you, your neighbour will think the world of you, you will feel great... and I suspect the "friend" will never park there again, without your permission.

that's proper conflict resolution.

Good luck