"We didn't recognise you with your clothes on!"

ColinJ

Puzzle game developer
I just got a funny look from a woman in a cafe in Hebden Bridge ...

Two female friends were riding over on their MTBs this morning and texted me to suggest meeting up for coffee and cake. I arrived in the pedestrianised town square at the stated time but there was no sign of my pals. I whipped out my phone and played a game of Sudoku while I waited. It was drizzly and I was wearing a raincoat and a woolly hat. Time passed. Slowly ... Still no sign after a 15 minute wait.

I began to wonder if they had punctured on the long descent into town and was about to call them when I heard a little voice in the distance call out "Cooee - Col!" I looked up from my phone and saw my pals in a cafe across the square, with one leaning out of the doorway to summon me.

I trotted over and we went to the upstairs room because it was a lot less busy than the one downstairs. In fact, there were only us and a third woman up there. The woman was reading a paper and drinking coffee. I got the feeling that she was listening in on our conversation ...

I said to my pals that I had been standing outside in the rain for 15 minutes. They laughed and simultaneously said "Sorry Col, we didn't recognise you with your clothes on!"

The woman opposite lowered her newspaper and stared over the top of her glasses at me, clearly thinking that a description of some raunchy threesome was about to be delivered!

I stared back ... "As opposed to my usual cycling kit?"

The woman looked disappointed, and went back to reading her paper ... :laugh:
 
Which cafe do you use? I go to Hebden Bridge quite a lot. My better half likes the lampost cafe, I don't!
 

byegad

Legendary Member
Location
NE England
Naughty!

My father once spotted an elderly pair earwigging the conversation at our table. This was back in the late 1950s and my sister (5) and I (9) were chatting and constantly calling them Mam and Dad. Once my Dad saw they were listening he reached over the table taking Mam's left hand (To hide the wedding and engagement rings.) and said:- 'Doreen, for the sake of the children please, please marry me!'
The old pair practically jumped out of their seats then hurriedly called for the bill and rushed out. We saw them later, by this time Dad had told us why he'd re-proposed to Mam, and as they saw us they turned to another couple and pointed us out.
 
OP
ColinJ

ColinJ

Puzzle game developer
Which cafe do you use? I go to Hebden Bridge quite a lot. My better half likes the lampost cafe, I don't!
I usually go to whichever one the person/people I am with want to go to.

That could be Innovation, Watergate (nice to sit out the back on sunny days), Organic House (More expensive than most, but nice. They will let you wheel your bikes through and put them out back in a secure area.), the one we went to in the square (forget the name!), the Town Hall cafe (We have got away with taking bikes inside, and they have a suntrap open area above the river which is nice in the summer. Not a great cafe though.), er ... Blimey there are loads of them - I could probably name another 5 or more!

One favourite is Towngate Tearooms in Heptonstall. You can ride up there the easier way via Lee Wood Road/Draper Lane and descend the cobbles into the village and the cafe is on your left. There is a small table out the front, or you could get takeaway food and drink and walk across to the benches in the grassy area across the road.
 

ScotiaLass

Guru
Location
Middle Earth
:laugh:
Reminds me of when I was a 20yr old trainee nurse. I was working in the orthopaedic ward and had been caring for a (handsome) young man who had come off his motorbike and had been in traction for several weeks.
I was walking through town with my mum when we passed him. I said hello....he stared at me for a few seconds then declared "Sorry! I didn't recognise you with your clothes on'.
My mother was not amused :laugh:
 
OP
ColinJ

ColinJ

Puzzle game developer
When people comment on my lycra i normally say i dont like cycling, just wearing the kinky gear ......
I was once sitting with a group of British pensioner cyclists in the sunshine at a cafe in Guadalest up in the Costa Blanca mountains. We were all wearing summer lycra cycling kit, and our bikes were nearby. A British tourist wandered up to us and said "Are you cyclists?" ... :laugh:
 

Cycleops

Legendary Member
Location
Accra, Ghana
My better half likes the lampost cafe, I don't!
Me too, that's the one the dogs use!
 
A few years ago, we had a foreign member of staff, who had very good english but was still learning.

At the time of the staff meeting we had not had paediatric clinics for a few weeks for various reasons. What she meant to ask was when we were going to reinstate the clinics.

However what happened was sh eturned round in teh middle of the meeting and asked :

"David, when are we going to have children"
As you can guess there was a lot of amusement
 
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