what do you wipe your bottom with?

[dellzeqq]

I'm afraid that there's a bit of aspirational madness in the DZ bogroll shopping habits. Time was when I thought folk who bought posh bog rolls were silly, and time was when we went for the recycled stuff, heedless of scratchiness. We sneered at Andrex (doesn't that stupid puppy realise that he's the dupe of international bogopoly capitalism?), and, as for Charmin...

Not any more. The rot set in when Waitrose introduced tp with Aloe Vera. Then they came up with Jojoba. Now Sainsbury have brought bogpaper with a nut extract called Shea Butter to the admiring populace.

I suppose it's softer on the whole, but I still wonder if 'luxury' toilet paper, however much it might be FSC approved and however Fairtrade the beans or nuts that get creamed for our bottomly pleasure, will survive the revolution. I suppose I could 'fess up, criticise myself for insufficiently dialectical bottom-wiping, and go forward with the masses brandishing vintage rolls of Izal, but I fear that my bourgeois bogroll tendencies would debar me from intellectual leadership positions.

Anyroadup - if ever there was a thread designed for childish punning, this is it. Fill in the poll, and take it away........

 

[ianrauk]

You do talk sh!t sometimes Dell*

*gets this in before 'teef, 3bikesM etc

 

[Trembler49]

It's not what you use but how much. One of our kids uses almost a whole roll at a time!

 

[col]

Sandpaper isnt in your options?

 

[ttcycle]

other things may well get in the way of intellectual leadership...

By the way, I think your failure to mention wipes of the wet variety clearly means that you're not plugged into toilet wiping habits in all their diversity. Shakes head in disappointment.

 

[col]

I use these meself...

I suppose they do like licking each others arse anyway.

 

[NormanD]

Sandpaper isnt in your options?

Neither is broken bottle I noticed or swiss arm knife blade

 

[Edwards80]

Take the cardboard roll out, put it on the end of the vacuum cleaner hose and away it all goes.

Be careful though, it's how I ended up with "Dyson Ball"

 

[perplexed]

The recycled stuff from Lidl. Cheap, and frankly does a better job than the posh stuff. The posh quilted stuff is like trying to mop up with a duvet. Too thick and unwieldy...

 

[2PedalsTez]

I suppose it's softer on the whole........

So much effort made in this thread and then you let yourself down with a spelling mistake..

 

[dellzeqq]

So much effort made in this thread and then you let yourself down with a spelling mistake..

strange to say, that's the oldest joke I know. I clearly remember my dad delivering it in 1962

 

[Beebo]

anyone who's anyone uses a swan's neck to wipe their arris!!

 

[Kestevan]

£20 notes.
I used to use £50s but the recession is starting to bite.

 

[Panter]

Panda skins, accept no substitute

 

[Beebo]

Is it ok to admit that in my student days we would sometimes resort to using the Yellow Pages when funds were running low!!

Any page except the takeaway numbers and emergency plumber was considered fair game!