what do you wipe your bottom with?

[betty swollocks]

Ultra violet light.
The sun shines in too.

 

[Mr Phoebus]

It's a cycling forum. Shirley someone uses Viz's Clag Gone?

 

[Doseone]

Surely the dog of choice when it come to cleaning your bum is a Shih Tzu.

It's the way I tell 'em!

I like to use a pooh-dle.

 

[Red Light]

Colonectomies and colostomy bags. Laugh in the face of the tp companies!

 

[guitarpete247]

I didn't see the option for squares of old newspapers with a piece of string hanging on a nail .

 

[ColinJ]

It's a cycling forum. Shirley someone uses Viz's Clag Gone?

Somebody had to do it, didn't they!

 

[Archie_tect]

He says, furiously back-pedalling. Now I know why you're disappointed Col!

 

[slowmotion]

The Romans figured it out yonks ago. A natural sponge and water. Sorted.

 

[ColinJ]

He says, furiously back-pedalling.

I'd never noticed that!

The first time someone sent me a copy of Clag-Gone, I laughed so violently that I almost spat my tea all over my keyboard ...

 

[Archie_tect]

Sponge and water... bit dribbly, don't you find?

 

[slowmotion]

Sponge and water... bit dribbly, don't you find?

I guess that the level of dribbliness is a matter of personal taste. Anyway, it can easily be adjusted, I would imagine.

 

[GM]

I didn't see the option for squares of old newspapers with a piece of string hanging on a nail .

When I was a kid, that used to be the Sunday night entertainment. Cutting up old telephone directories into small squares and hanging them on a piece of string in our outside toilet. Those were the days!

 

[guitarpete247]

When I was a kid, that used to be the Sunday night entertainment. Cutting up old telephone directories into small squares and hanging them on a piece of string in our outside toilet. Those were the days!

YOU HAD A TELEPHONE!!!!!!!

Times were 'ard when I were a lad. We never 'ad no lah di dah telephones. We 'ad a tin can on a bit o' string and thought our sens lucky to 'ave that.

We did however have a butler who cut the newspaper up into squares for us .

 

[slowmotion]

Anybody read "The Specialist" by Charles Sale? The papers of choice were the torn pages of the Sears' catalogue, IIRC.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41W8xY-R2WL._SL500_AA300_.jpg

 

[Hover Fly]

I voted for Izal even though it is no longer easily available, as I aspire to finding a suitable alternative. Until then I use the tissue paper that came interleaved between sheets of draughting film. Touch that poncy soft stuff, what do you think I am?