What have you got away with?

[Archie_tect]

... I'm associating with a load of criminals... this is awful!

 

[ComedyPilot]

Dortmund 1986.

A new recruit on our barracks had only been there a few weeks and had picked up a really nice girl. I went for a beer with him and her, and got on well with her because I spoke German.

We were sat at a table in a bar and I started playing footsie with her. He was hammered on brandy and coke, but I just had coke on my round - i.e half his intake.

I popped him kayleyed into a taxi and like a gentleman escorted her home. En-route I got a 'Lesley Ash' down an alley for my troubles.

Sorry mate.

 

[Rhythm Thief]

I once clocked on for a night shift driving empty pallets around. I started at 6pm, had a cuppa, then drove for all of three minutes before running a red light. (Accidentally.) Unfortunately, I nearly flattened a police car, whose driver understandably pulled me over. The conversation went something like:

WPC: "You picked the wrong time to run a red light, diidn't you driver?"
Me: "Did I? I'm ever so sorry, I had no idea."
WPC: "Hmm, well. How long is it since you had a break?"
Me: "Errr ... quite a while."
WPC: "Well, you look knackered. Park up for half an hour and get some kip."
Me: "Of course, officer. I can only apologise, can't think why I didn't see it."

I didn't feel the need to tell her I'd been at work for less than an hour.

 

[Speicher]

I got away with carrying an offensive weapon.


Long story short, "we" were followed all evening by various Officers of the Law. I remember getting a very strange look from someone in the pub who seemed to be taking a very unusual amount of interest in us, and I remember thinking what a lot of Police were around that night. (Outside every pub we visited, and following the bus we took home).

Turns out they wanted to arrest him, and with the knife in my possession, they would have no reason to arrest him. They obviously did not want to arrest me.

Mitigating circumstances Constable, Sir. It was 7.25 inches long IIRC perhaps 0.25 inches longer than allowed. I thought it would be safer if I carried it in my bag rather than the "owner" carry it in his pocket.

Further mitigating circumstances, I was only a teenager at the time.

 

[Corvette chic]

i too got frisked like Fnaar but i was wearing an italian poison ring they didn't look in there

 

[zimzum42]

I got stopped, searched, and relieved of a small bag of weed. They tried to take my rizla but I protested and got it back. After all, what was I going to use to wrap the spliff they hadn't found in my other pocket after they had gone?

 

[ComedyPilot]

Further mitigating circumstances, I was only a teenager at the time.

Well, at least you've had a couple of years since then to think about your actions.

 

[Downward]

When the Wolverhampton Safeways introduced self scanning in the mid 1990s, me and my then girlfriend used regularly to "forget" to scan certain items.

We always forget to pay for stuff at the Supermarkets - always distracted by kids.
Usually it's cause we hang the big packs of loo roll on the back of the trolley where the kids sit.

 

[longers]

Reading the "what didn't you get away with?" thread has reminded me of this from my youth. It could go in either as some didn't get away with it.

A few mates got lifted for nicking a pool cue, some ashtrays and the blackboard from a pub in town while young, dumb and under the influence.
The lad who had the pool cue stuck it down his t-shirt and trousers and made a slow and awkward non escape.
They didn't get far and the police paid them a visit on the sunday at home to speak to their parents.

One lads parents were both deaf and the only person who could translate into sign language was him.

I can't remember what he told them but it wasn't anywhere near a perfect translation.

 

[speccy1]

What have you got away with and that you can write about safely?

Me, I once ran my own company that was swallowed up by a large, faceless multi-national. Anyway, once all the dust had settled, they told me they would take my vehicle from me and as I no longer needed it, I was happy to let them do so. In return for this, they would give me a first class rail ticket home and a cheque for £1000. They sent me a cheque in respect of this twice! Anyway, I took the vehicle to their head office and handed over the keys but the transport manager told me he had no garaging space for it so to drive it home and they would call me in a couple of weeks to have it uplifted. The two weeks turned into 18 months and still they didn't ask for it yet had picked up the payments on it!

Any unexpected gift horses you've had come your way?

Getting graphite all over my parents brand new (to the tune of £1200) cream carpet!! It was all over my shoes after turning the garage over to look for something

 

[Alan Whicker]

Once did a photoshoot of a (then) top of the range GT MTB for a daily newspaper. I waited for the call to say that a courier would be round to get the bike. Waited. Waited. Days. Weeks. The call never came, so i rang them and they knew nowt about it. "Bike? What Bike? Not us mate".

So I got a new bike (which I later gave away when I moved abroad for a bit)!

 

[Fab Foodie]

I mentioned that I wasn't keen on Gypsies once in P&L and got away with it...

 

[Noodley]

I mentioned that I wasn't keen on Gypsies once in P&L and got away with it...

 

[Dayvo]

A few mates got lifted for nicking a pool cue, some ashtrays and the blackboard from a pub in town while young, dumb and under the influence.
The lad who had the pool cue stuck it down his t-shirt and trousers and made a slow and awkward non escape.

One lads parents were both deaf and the only person who could translate into sign language was him.

I can't remember what he told them but it wasn't anywhere near a perfect translation.

I can just imagine the lad explaining that the police were decent enough to drive him home because he was having trouble walking home with the pool cue down his trousers and his parents nodding smilingly at the kindness of the police!

 

[RabbitFood]

We always forget to pay for stuff at the Supermarkets - always distracted by kids.
Usually it's cause we hang the big packs of loo roll on the back of the trolley where the kids sit.

Thats another trick i used to get away with, go to abig DIY store with a bag of cement on top of everything else in the trolly, the cashire just scans the cement from the trolly, freebiessssssssssssssssssssssssssss