Headgardener
Armchair Cyclist
It's also this sue at the slightest little graze mentality that puts people off from helping out with any sort of voluntary work particularly youth work. Leiutenant Ian Edinborough, 1st Hythe Company, The Boys Brigade.
What is is with Parents
- Thread starter fossyant
- Start date
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we have the same problem down at the surf club i help at . at the start of every season down on the beach we ask parants to help out and keep an eye on the kids in the water and on the beach and every season most of them go to the local pub on the beach then come next week moan because their kids did,nt get much time in the water . we do tell them that we don,t have enough people to keep an eye on the kids so its not safe ,but they just say their kids a good swimmer and don,t worry about them . i wonder if they would be happy if said kid drowned and our defence was you said he was a good swimmer and don,y worry about them . i think not .
Black Sheep
Guru
- Location
- Rammy
Have you tried speaking to any of the following people?
Group scout leader - in charge of the whole group of beavers, cubs, scouts etc and probably aware of the lack of leaders but might have some suggestions
district commissioner who oversees all the units in the area
are you able to talk to scout headquarters to see if they've got any advice?
other local scout groups that might have suggestions of how they've handled similar situations?
one thing that might help is organising a family camp where the parents and siblings come on camp and do a programe of activities, this works for us as parents find they actually can / enjoy some of the activities and so are a bit more willing to help out.
Group scout leader - in charge of the whole group of beavers, cubs, scouts etc and probably aware of the lack of leaders but might have some suggestions
district commissioner who oversees all the units in the area
are you able to talk to scout headquarters to see if they've got any advice?
other local scout groups that might have suggestions of how they've handled similar situations?
one thing that might help is organising a family camp where the parents and siblings come on camp and do a programe of activities, this works for us as parents find they actually can / enjoy some of the activities and so are a bit more willing to help out.
OP
OP
fossyant
Ride It Like You Stole It!
- Location
- South Manchester
We have been doing our best to involve parents.
I am now, no longer a Beaver Leader or help with cubs.
I came in for a torrent of abuse from a 'low life pond scum' last night for 'telling off her dear little daughter'.
Ballcock's to it all, I've packed it in.
As you know my son has been bullied all his school life. We only got it sorted last summer with some serious intervention - totally put the 'whatsits' up the head teacher.
Anyway, that is sorted, but recently a 'girl' has started beeing really nasty to my son, threttening him, hitting etc. off it goes again...
Said girl is taller than all the class, very much a tom boy and the lads are scared of her. This has boiled over into the cub pack and the girl has been getting my son there. I help out there too, so had a 'quiet word' - basically you stop it now or the head teacher will be involved. IE. stop or this thing get's serious - your mum/teacher/head.
This was a few weeks ago. The kid is in the middle of a family break up - messy. Mum isn't really looking after the kid, and all seems to be being done by another family (surrogate dad so happens to be a Beaver helper).
Anyway, at cubs last night, surrogate mum delivers lazy ar$e real mum to cubs, just to have a go. I was acused of being threttening and intimidating etc. etc (based upon stop or I'll tell your headteacher). I ended up having to walk off as I was about to hit boiling point and come down personal, but thought better of it.
Well that's it, massive shame, but I'm not putting myself out for this. Texted 'surrogate' dad to tell him that's it, and the other femaile helper - Other female helper understands, the 'friend'/dad is probably rather shocked as he's been stuck in the middle.
District have been told and they are bouncing mad (not at me).
Only takes one parent, we don't get paid, we only do this for the kids. The law as it is, no chance.
The shame is, my son will most likely decide he doesn't want to go anymore - I'm hoping to shuffle him into Scouts early as my mate runs that, and he has no messing.
F'ing parents - stuff them.
I am now, no longer a Beaver Leader or help with cubs.
I came in for a torrent of abuse from a 'low life pond scum' last night for 'telling off her dear little daughter'.
Ballcock's to it all, I've packed it in.
As you know my son has been bullied all his school life. We only got it sorted last summer with some serious intervention - totally put the 'whatsits' up the head teacher.
Anyway, that is sorted, but recently a 'girl' has started beeing really nasty to my son, threttening him, hitting etc. off it goes again...
Said girl is taller than all the class, very much a tom boy and the lads are scared of her. This has boiled over into the cub pack and the girl has been getting my son there. I help out there too, so had a 'quiet word' - basically you stop it now or the head teacher will be involved. IE. stop or this thing get's serious - your mum/teacher/head.
This was a few weeks ago. The kid is in the middle of a family break up - messy. Mum isn't really looking after the kid, and all seems to be being done by another family (surrogate dad so happens to be a Beaver helper).
Anyway, at cubs last night, surrogate mum delivers lazy ar$e real mum to cubs, just to have a go. I was acused of being threttening and intimidating etc. etc (based upon stop or I'll tell your headteacher). I ended up having to walk off as I was about to hit boiling point and come down personal, but thought better of it.
Well that's it, massive shame, but I'm not putting myself out for this. Texted 'surrogate' dad to tell him that's it, and the other femaile helper - Other female helper understands, the 'friend'/dad is probably rather shocked as he's been stuck in the middle.
District have been told and they are bouncing mad (not at me).
Only takes one parent, we don't get paid, we only do this for the kids. The law as it is, no chance.
The shame is, my son will most likely decide he doesn't want to go anymore - I'm hoping to shuffle him into Scouts early as my mate runs that, and he has no messing.
F'ing parents - stuff them.
bauldbairn
New Member
- Location
- Falkirk
That's such a shame - as apart from the lack of other parents help it sounded like you enjoyed it.
I'm sure the good parents will be furious when they find out - maybe it will jolt them into some positive action(too late for you probably).
I've read all this with interest as I'm being pressurised by two work colleagues(ones a regional Scouting bigwig?) to help out at the Scouts - and I don't even have kids(but was a cub/scout for many years and loved it).
Good luck Fossy - you've did your bit!!!
summerdays
Cycling in the sun
- Location
- Bristol
I always have great admiration for those who volunteer at the groups my children have attended (guides and St John's Ambulance). On the whole apart from a couple of specific occasions they don't ask for help.
BearPear
Veteran
- Location
- God's Own County
Sorry that you had to take that step, but as you say, you don't get paid to be there - never mind take that kind of agro.
My friend at work has 2 boys at cubs and one has borderline ADHD and can find it hard to focus and as a consequence is a bit disruptive. She worried that he was not settling at scouts so I suggested she or her husband attend as volunteers - you'd have thought I suggest she run naked down the high street! Her opinion was that it is the Leader's job to sort things out!!
I wasn't impressed with her at all, my son helps at our local cubs (his dad was a leader before the kids were born) so I am fully aware of the pressures you are under (I did my fair share of parental support back in the day!)
My friend at work has 2 boys at cubs and one has borderline ADHD and can find it hard to focus and as a consequence is a bit disruptive. She worried that he was not settling at scouts so I suggested she or her husband attend as volunteers - you'd have thought I suggest she run naked down the high street! Her opinion was that it is the Leader's job to sort things out!!
I wasn't impressed with her at all, my son helps at our local cubs (his dad was a leader before the kids were born) so I am fully aware of the pressures you are under (I did my fair share of parental support back in the day!)
I'm an Explorer Scout Leader.
Our Beavers and Cubs have exactly the same problem.
Their solution is a Parents Rota. It's not optional, if you want your kid to go then you have to fill (I think it's two) slots per term
They have 3 parents on the rota each week.
If you can't make one week then you swap with another parent
Any parent that does not 'do their bit' for the kid without good reason is then asked to leave at the end of term.
We introduced the policy many years ago, I seem to remember that it casued eruptions at the time and I'm sure some kids left, but as far as I know it has not caused any issues since, I know there are some parents who due to work commitments are unable to join the rota, but they are therefore put on the once a term hut mainenetace days, which is probably a lot harder work.
Our Beavers and Cubs have exactly the same problem.
Their solution is a Parents Rota. It's not optional, if you want your kid to go then you have to fill (I think it's two) slots per term
They have 3 parents on the rota each week.
If you can't make one week then you swap with another parent
Any parent that does not 'do their bit' for the kid without good reason is then asked to leave at the end of term.
We introduced the policy many years ago, I seem to remember that it casued eruptions at the time and I'm sure some kids left, but as far as I know it has not caused any issues since, I know there are some parents who due to work commitments are unable to join the rota, but they are therefore put on the once a term hut mainenetace days, which is probably a lot harder work.
PBancroft
Senior Member
- Location
- Winchester
I don't see why this is a problem. Some parents probably do think of it as babysitting... others probably don't think.
I reckon if it was put out there that all parents should help out in some form on at least two nights a year, or one camp (as convenient to all parties) - they'd grab it. Its a great idea and I think you should pick it up and run with it.
PBancroft
Senior Member
- Location
- Winchester
Just seen this after my previous post. Great shame. Understand why you've done it... I probably would have done the same, but its a sadness nonetheless.
Salad Dodger
Guru
- Location
- Kent Coast
I read through this thread with great interest, as for about 10 years I helped run a local canoe club, which gradually turned into a babysitting service for a couple of hours every Saturday night.
What with that and the increasing threat of litigation arising from activities, I pulled the plug on my involvement, and I can't say I miss it too much.
But to read the later posts about a nasty parent, and your resultant withdrawal from the Beaver group, was very sad indeed, although completely understandable.
It is such a shame that all your good work can be lost due to one cr*ppy person and their equally rancid child.
What with that and the increasing threat of litigation arising from activities, I pulled the plug on my involvement, and I can't say I miss it too much.
But to read the later posts about a nasty parent, and your resultant withdrawal from the Beaver group, was very sad indeed, although completely understandable.
It is such a shame that all your good work can be lost due to one cr*ppy person and their equally rancid child.
