What is your relationship like?

[Fnaar]

Had our ups and downs over nearly 19 years (this yr hasn't been particularly good ) but I'm not a givver-upper generally, and I'm in for the duration.

 

[WeeE]

You're on the way to being really-single when you start to notice the elephant in the room - just how many couples, in general conversation, treat one another with (and put up with) an amazing amount of mutual contempt. And how they socially police one another constantly, forever telling one another off / how to behave / what to do (or don't do), acting like parent-and-sullen-teenager turn and turn about.

It amazes me how much energy some people put into "owning" one another's daily being-in-the-world, and - even when there are no kids - how long they're prepared to live with someone they just don't seem to like or respect very much, and who doesn't seem to like them either.

Is it just me, or does it floor anyone else when someone says, "Yeah, we would" split up, only we wouldn't get a good price for the house at the moment." ?

 

[Over The Hill]

It is interesting to read that many long lasting marriages have common elements that make them work. Agreeing to disagree is a wonderful option to prevent an argument

If something moves from a difference of view to an argument those arguing are not respecting the others view and trying to impose their own view on the other.

If you go in with respect for the other view and with no wish to impose you view on the other then how can you argue?

I don't accept that an argument is an inevitable or natural outcome when you disagree.

It has often been assumed by couples that argue, that we are a seething mass or resentment and issues we have shoved under the carpet. That is not the case, issues are dealt with and we find a solution (either joint or seperate) and everyone is happy.

Mostly in fact we agree or know what the other would want anyway so just skip to the outcome.

 

[rich p]

Mines non-existant

Wasn't that Princess Diana's charity?

 

[al78]

If something moves from a difference of view to an argument those arguing are not respecting the others view and trying to impose their own view on the other.

One question; what do you do if you know for a fact that the other person is just plain wrong?

The middle ground is not always right.

 

[Norm]

One question; what do you do if you know for a fact that the other person is just plain wrong?

I'd start from the position that there is very little which is plain right or plain wrong, and very, very little which is fact rather than opinion.

 

[Arch]

Is it just me, or does it floor anyone else when someone says, "Yeah, we would" split up, only we wouldn't get a good price for the house at the moment." ?

I dunno if I'd be astonished - I suspect plenty of people stay together through inertia, or fear of being alone. Any excuse is good....

 

[BrumJim]

Someone told us before we got married that long-term love is a matter of what you are prepared to give up for the other person. Only works, of course, if the attitude is mutual.

I've given up working 1 day a week for 6 months, and she gave up any regard for her own health, both in 2008. However we have only been married for 5 years, so don't feel we can offer any advice in staying together in the long term.

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Had our ups and downs...

Let's try and keep this sort of filth out of the forum please!

 

[darkstar]

Been with the same girl since aged 16 now 21(well in 2 days) still as strong as ever but we don't half have some rows if we clash.

 

[BigonaBianchi]

I have an intense relationship with Celeste, and a more steady one with Shinto..both bikes serve me well.

 

[cyberknight]

Been married 10 years now and we are the typical old married couple always whinging and putting up with each other B)

TBH wife has said if i do not get help she will move out .
The Stress of over a year of short time work has left us on the brink of bankruptcy with no relief till August next year .The constant worry of it all has made me very irritable and short tempered and what does she do ? instead of support i get ultimatums.

 

[yenrod]

The funny about me is that its like lady says & we've tried the living together situ. but now its an apart situ. & she's just moved...we've had splits but I just like her just too bloody much for my liking: work that one out cause I can't.

5yrs.



To put it into smileys......

B)..and at the moment its

 

[Arch]

we've had splits but I just like her just too bloody much for my liking

Bloody hell, yenners, I never thought I'd say this, but I've been there too....

Although the splits were never my choice - I just refused to let go, like a terrier with a rat, only more gentle.

Thought it was going to work out ok in the end, and that I'd won, but it didn't, and I lost in the biggest way imaginable.

 

[yenrod]

Bloody hell, yenners, I never thought I'd say this, but I've been there too....

Although the splits were never my choice - I just refused to let go, like a terrier with a rat, only more gentle.

Thought it was going to work out ok in the end, and that I'd won, but it didn't, and I lost in the biggest way imaginable.

Life's a bummer then some 'eh Arch (he says in a 'sharing a drink in a bar kinda way')... B)

Its stupid innit you (in general) do some rediculous things for love - andtobehonest I feel better alone as I dont have to relate to & p@ss anyone off...

Life: donchajustluvit !