XmisterIS
Purveyor of fine nonsense
As a follow on to the driving thread: http://www.cyclechat.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=45573
But this time let's keep it a little more light-hearted!
(i.e. let's not put down "cagers", "peds", etc, because we all know that these things get our goats!).
Anyway, these are my all-time-top 5 goat-getting scenarios:
1) I'm riding through a built-up area and suddenly I need to poo. I mean really badly. I'm touching cloth. I can feel the turtle's head. Each pedal-stroke is torture. The saddle feels like it's rammed up my ring.
2) I find as suitable a place as possible to release the beast, I get down into a full squat and let rip ... then my foot slips on wet leaves and I sit in it.
3) (completely unrelated to point 1 and 2) ... I'm on the mountain bike, get a flat, then I realise that the rear tyre is ripped to buggery as well as the inner-tube ... and the nearest road is 5 miles away.
4) I carefully install my new tyre, put the wheel back on the bike ... and realise I've put the tyre on the wrong way round.
5) I wake up full of the joys of life early on a Sunday morning, throw the curtains open, the sky is clear, the sun is shining, the birds are tweeting, the bunnies are hopping and I am struck with a passion to get out on the roads and go for a blast before the traffic gets busy. So I have a good breakfast, shower, get ready, prepare the bike, lock the house, wheel the bike up to the road, really take in the beauty of the morning, swing my leg over the top-tube, click my foot into the pedal ... and the rain starts coming down in torrents ... and keeps coming down for the next six hours ...
But this time let's keep it a little more light-hearted!
(i.e. let's not put down "cagers", "peds", etc, because we all know that these things get our goats!).Anyway, these are my all-time-top 5 goat-getting scenarios:
1) I'm riding through a built-up area and suddenly I need to poo. I mean really badly. I'm touching cloth. I can feel the turtle's head. Each pedal-stroke is torture. The saddle feels like it's rammed up my ring.
2) I find as suitable a place as possible to release the beast, I get down into a full squat and let rip ... then my foot slips on wet leaves and I sit in it.
3) (completely unrelated to point 1 and 2) ... I'm on the mountain bike, get a flat, then I realise that the rear tyre is ripped to buggery as well as the inner-tube ... and the nearest road is 5 miles away.
4) I carefully install my new tyre, put the wheel back on the bike ... and realise I've put the tyre on the wrong way round.
5) I wake up full of the joys of life early on a Sunday morning, throw the curtains open, the sky is clear, the sun is shining, the birds are tweeting, the bunnies are hopping and I am struck with a passion to get out on the roads and go for a blast before the traffic gets busy. So I have a good breakfast, shower, get ready, prepare the bike, lock the house, wheel the bike up to the road, really take in the beauty of the morning, swing my leg over the top-tube, click my foot into the pedal ... and the rain starts coming down in torrents ... and keeps coming down for the next six hours ...
)
