What spam have you had today?

[Dave7]

I have been offered penis extensions in 2 different emails.

I had 2 of those extensions last year........it's nearly 2" long now

 

[Davos87]

My wife keeps encouraging me to consider having a procedure which will result in a 9 inch penis..............but I'm not having 3 inches cut off for anyone.

 

[Levo-Lon]

Dear Ian,

This is to inform you to appear in the Court on the May 25 for your case hearing.
Please, prepare all the documents relating to the case and bring them to Court on the specified date.
Note: If you do not come, the case will be heard in your absence.

You can review complete details of the Court Notice in the attachment.

Regards,
Mike Beard,
District Clerk.




With a court notification zip file attached

ive been getting those too..

 

[stephec]

ive been getting those too..

Yeah but Wicker man was talking about spam.

 

[postman]

Mobile phone message.I have just over £4,000 waiting for me.Seems i have been involved in an accident.It must have been a bit of brain damage,because i cannot remember it.deleted said message.

PS.No offence to anyone suffering from any head trauma at the moment.

 

[gavgav]

Spam through the postbox from ruddy "Strongerin" lot concerning the EU Referendum. Badged as being from "Independent Experts" and it's only in the tiniest print that you see it's from them. Do they think we are stupid or something?

 

[mybike]

Spam through the postbox from ruddy "Strongerin" lot concerning the EU Referendum. Badged as being from "Independent Experts" and it's only in the tiniest print that you see it's from them. Do they think we are stupid or something?

Yes.

 

[fossyant]

Keep getting asked to test a new Vax!

I've also got over $10k in commissions to collect, apparently.

 

[mybike]

Yes.

I've had their nonsense as well, I see they're quoting "Cathy Warwick, Chief Executive, Royal College of Midwives", and also head of the board of trustees of BPAS, as in favour of staying in. Clearly they're not trying for the midwife vote.

Another is Richard Branson who've I've never put down as a believer in anything but money.

 

[tyred]

My Paypal account limit has been hacked and some bank that I never heard tell of want to confirm my account details* and several Russians want to have sex with me. I also win a Galaxy S6 if I click on the link (Is the Galaxy S6 a new sporty Ford people carrier with V6 engine and go faster stripes or a bar of chocolate?).

*as an amusing aside, a few years ago my uncle was moving house and went in person to change the details of his bank account and was asked for about 6 million types of ID to which he asked "You mean to tell me I have been using this branch since 1958 and you still don't know who I am? If you want proof of address - just photocopy the next statement you were going to send me before posting!"

 

[Saluki]

Dear Ian,

This is to inform you to appear in the Court on the May 25 for your case hearing.
Please, prepare all the documents relating to the case and bring them to Court on the specified date.
Note: If you do not come, the case will be heard in your absence.

You can review complete details of the Court Notice in the attachment.

Regards,
Mike Beard,
District Clerk.

With a court notification zip file attached

I have had a whole bunch of these of late. I wonder how many people open that attachement?

 

[Seevio]

Since my mail provider stopped using gmail as a backend, I no longer get emails from Raymond trying to sell me a mobile boat hoist. Apparently they are world renowned.

In a related note, I found out that ad-blockers make you less attractive to women. Since I installed one, all the hot singles in my area have lost interest.

 

[postman]

Even those ever so nice girls on here,who were only five miles away have stopped posting.And here i am with a rise in my State Pension to spend.I could have taken them to Witherspades.And as Dell Boy once said,they would get a steak dinner,but only on a Tuesday.

 

[classic33]

One warning of a scam, where someone is trying to get money that is mine.

Sent at great personal danger to the sender.

No more informing me that my funeral is next week though. Asking me to come and pay my last wishes to myself.

 

[captain nemo1701]

Svetlana is back and has more Russian ladies waiting to marry me.