What was the moment that you knew you were in a duff relationship...?

[Globalti]

I was employed by the Opus once in Spain.

Relationships ending? Gawd, where do I start? My first ever GF went off to a party where she though she would get off with a bloke called Alistair, she left a note pinned to her door informing me that she didn't want to see me any more. When Alistair failed to oblige she came back all apologetic and crying for forgiveness - even at the age of 16 I knew I wasn't gong to take that kind of treatment!

A few potential relationships, especially when I lived in France, failed the moment I got close enough to smell their breath.

 

[Rhythm Thief]

I've had two relationships which went seriously wrong. The second one I realised I needed to get out of when we held a birthday party for her, which my mum attended. Afterwards, she phoned me up and said "I just wanted to say that it really upset me seeing you like that. She's knocked all the spirit out of you and you look frightened all the time" or words to that effect. It wasn't just standard Mother in Law speak, either: Julie (as we'll call her) was very insecure and had been systematically isolating mne from my friends for months. It was only my mum saying it that finally made me do something about it. Took me months to get back to normal and patch everything up with my friends.
The first one ... well, this was probably more my fault. She'd been to a reunion party with some of her university friends, and when she came home, she said "everyone was asking when we're going to get married". Without thinking, I said (thinking it might be amusing, and that she held the same opinion of marriage as I did): "huh! I hope you told them never". That one didn't last much longer.

 

[davidg]

for me, it was when the girl I was dating tried to steal my cashew nuts....I had generously brought them to help her with the cooking, but she got the wrong idea about them...

 

[BrumJim]

Rather tamely:

In a group, playing the game "Best Friends". A bit like Mr and Mrs, but aimed at friendships rather than marriage.

Discovered that what she liked about me most was what I didn't believe that I had myself, and what she disliked most was where I go (emotionally) when I get tired/lost/stressed.

 

[gavintc]

for me, it was when the girl I was dating tried to steal my cashew nuts....I had generously brought them to help her with the cooking, but she got the wrong idea about them...

Top reply

 

[MacB]

I remember a friend of mine complaining about a girl that had dumped him. Apparently she'd promised to treat him to a milkshake but had forgotten her purse, so he paid. After much hassling and reminding(I know him), over a couple of weeks, she finally gave him the money and the elbow. Even when I explained it to him I know that, deep down, he still felt he was the victim of injustice.

 

[Twenty Inch]

See, we can't get it right. Pay for everything, we're sexist pigs. Ask for equal shares, we get dumped.

 

[Wheeledweenie]

Anyone who says anything less than nice about my mum is out the door immediately. Mr Weenie and I have been together for 10 years so it's ahrd to remember but there was that boy that dad asked me to bring home to check out that time. He dealt a tiny amount of weed from time to time.

Dad co-ordinated the visit with the gun inspector coming round to check his shotgun. The gun was across the piano stool and two uniformed officers were in the house. The poor boy nearly wet himself (dad's 6ft 7" as well).

I was shocked at how scared he got. Wimp.

 

[Kirstie]

Worst EVER relationship was with someone who emotionally abused me constantly. He was constantly jealous if ever I did anything without him/his permission, constantly put me down and criticised me, accused me of having affairs (I didn't) and lying to him about who I was with and what I was doing (similary not), complained about everything I did, was extremely rude to my friends and family. Then went and slept around behind my back too. Basically if he couldn't f*ck it, eat it or kill it he wasn't interested.

When I left the peanut he howled like a baby, on his knees begging etc.

What an utter utter waste of space. The air that he currently breathes would be best used by someone else who actually deserves it.

I can't actually remember the moment but it was fairly early on during the first time that I was subject to a bout of drunken aggression from him.

 

[HobbesChoice]

Worst EVER relationship was with someone who emotionally abused me constantly. He was constantly jealous if ever I did anything without him/his permission, constantly put me down and criticised me, accused me of having affairs (I didn't) and lying to him about who I was with and what I was doing (similary not), complained about everything I did, was extremely rude to my friends and family. Then went and slept around behind my back too. Basically if he couldn't f*ck it, eat it or kill it he wasn't interested.

When I left the peanut he howled like a baby, on his knees begging etc.

What an utter utter waste of space. The air that he currently breathes would be best used by someone else who actually deserves it.

OH MY GOD! I had a relationship with him too !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think it's why I'm still single. Absolutely petrified of going through anything like that again!

 

[Kirstie]

OH MY GOD! I had a relationship with him too !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think it's why I'm still single. Absolutely petrified of going through anything like that again!

Yup. It put me off for a while...

 

[HobbesChoice]

I'm genuinely sorry you had to go through that. I don't think people can really realise how awful it is if they've not been through it themselves (some people have enough empathy to realise, but not everyone).

Onwards and upwards though, eh?

 

[Kirstie]

I'm genuinely sorry you had to go through that. I don't think people can really realise how awful it is if they've not been through it themselves (some people have enough empathy to realise, but not everyone).

Onwards and upwards though, eh?

Oh that was over ten years ago now! Good luck to you too...

 

[Stig-OT-Dump]

The trigger point for me leaving my first "live-in" relationship is easy to remeber.
I had been working away all week. Came home to find my girlfriend waiting for me, draped over the bed in her "Anne Summers" finest. I put a lot of effort into my performance (and if I say so myself, did a rather fine job), but towards the climax, she rather startled me by pulling a kitchen knife from beneath the pillow and trying to stab me because she thought I'd been cheating on her while away from home (I never cheated on her through the entire relationship). I'm so glad we never used handcuffs...

 

[ChrisKH]

Anyone who says anything less than nice about my mum is out the door immediately.

No disrespect, but doesn't that rather depend on your Mum? I'm sure she is a lovely woman but no one is beyond criticism.

I'll be honest my mil can be a joy and an absolute nightmare in equal measure but there is only so much crap you can take. We argue from time to time but that's part and parcel of the set up. Equally, my Mum was less than good on the relationship front with Mrs KH before we married so, I wouldn't expect her to keep her mouth shut if pushed. To her credit she never, never buckled.