subaqua
What’s the point
- Location
- Leytonstone
[QUOTE 2433573, member: 45"]I was twinkling in my dad's eye.[/quote]
I wasn't even an itch in my dads pants .
I wasn't even an itch in my dads pants .
What were you doing 45 years ago?
- Thread starter SquareDaff
- Start date
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Fnaar
Smutmaster General
- Location
- Thumberland
Well, it isn't just a man thing, of course, but there are many more instances of men committing/found guilty of such crimes than there are women. Not nec coz men are more 'evil' but imasgine:
Man to 15yr old girl: Would you like to see my genitalia?
Girl: shriek!
Woman to 15 yr old boy: Would you like to see my genitalia>
Boy: Cor, not arf...
I have no idea what point I'm making, but there is a difference in perceptions, willingness, etc...
You suspect wrongly. And it's not really an "agree to disagree" thing, like whether jammie dodgers are better than bourbons - the constant whining demands for anonymity for those accused of rape are part of a backlash against the very small gains made by victims of sexual assault in their quest for justice and acknowledgement. If I sound pissed off, it's because I am - this whole thread is a disgrace.
OP
OP
SquareDaff
Über Member
- Location
- Doncaster, South Yorkshire
OK. I don't know how old you are so hypothetically - you had sex with your girlfriend 20 years ago one night whilst you were both slightly worse for wear. You're under the impression everything is/was OK. Your girfriend didn't think so and has stayed quiet for 20 years.
Can you remember, on the 1st May 1993 - a) how many drinks you'd had, b) exactly what was said that gave you the impression everything was OK c) how many times you had intercourse, d) did she initate things 1st or was it you, e) were there any witnesses to any of the events of the evening? Personally I couldn't. If you can then that's a stonking memory you have. I suspect you'd be in a very exclusive club.
Take the case in the OP - the accused was apparently 15 at the time. Again, this is all hypothetical and yes I know it's still an offence if proven, but did WR know the girl was 15? From a memory point of view having what you think is consensual sex with someone you believe to be 16 is going to be less memorable that forcing yourself on a girl of 15 (which i agree - you'd probably remember in crystal clarity). It's an accusation at his point - not fact. Lets have those before we judge.
How many years ago it happened is irrelevant so let's forget that.
"Forcing yourself on a girl" as you put it at 15 years old /16 years old / 36 years old is rape regardless of age.
I said earlier this is an accusation and he has a chance to defend himself - I said earlier he is not guilty, just accused.
As for anonymity I agree with theClaud's post above.
Moon bunny
Judging your grammar
- Location
- Basking in my own brilliance.
In my experience no. Unless there is a specific link to the calendar date you might remember such and such happened on a Wednesday because you had, for instance, just seen a specific programme on TV but not the day of the month, e.g. I remember the day "it" pushed my face into the wall because that was the day I called the police and made a statement so 22nd May is now stamped into my memory, the other lesser and not so lesser events* are more vague, I might be able to pin some to a specific day by looking at a calendar, but not all of them, some I could not now even be certain of the year, and it only happened 18 months to a year ago.
*In case you are wondering why I didn't report him earlier, I knew he was suspected of fraud so waited until I could be certain he would go down for that.
Point taken. It was more of a rhetorical point than a literal one, about the trivialization in the OP...
D
Deleted member 20519
Guest
Not sure but then again, it wouldn't be another 30 years till I was born.
OP
OP
SquareDaff
Über Member
- Location
- Doncaster, South Yorkshire
No - they're not. They're calls for both parties to be treated equally. Being raped is a despicable act. So is being falsely accused of it. If you're found guilty of rape then you deserve what you get. Until then you deserve the right to defend yourself. Having a system where an innocent persons life can be destroyed by false accusation is no more fair than a system allowing a life to be destroyed by a deviant. There needs to be balance. What we have at the moment isn't.
This isn't a disgrace - it's a difference of opinion with your viewpoint no more "correct" than mine.
SatNavSaysStraightOn
Changed hemispheres!
- Location
- ɐᴉlɐɹʇsn∀ 'ɐɹɹǝquɐƆ
agreed. You don't remember the date(s). You remember what happened, in detail. you remember where everyone else was, what they were doing at the time, the reason the perpertrator was there, the reason no-one else was there/around in the immediate vicintity, or if they were how they participated, you remember each and everytime and how you felt, what you were wearing, how you were held (etc), but you don't remember the exact time & date unless it was tied to some significant event which would have happened on such & such a date.
And why it is not reported when it happens: you are a vulnerable child - you get 'brain washed' into beleiving it is normal, that no-one will beleive you, that you will get taken away from your family, that it will change everything and the good things in your life won't be the same again etc. It's only when you meet someone who has a normal life & family/friends and trust them, talk to them that you come to realise that is it not normal and not one of those threats will happen. Then you have to get your head around dealing with it and that is not easy. It takes time, time to heal physically, mentally and emotionally and the last thing you want is for it all to be dragged back up until you can know you can deal with it. You also very quickly learn that people are not interested in knowing about it either.
Globalti
Legendary Member
I was shockingly assaulted coming out of school when I was about 15 by an ice-cream salesman who though I'd sworn at him (I hadn't) and punched me in the mouth, breaking several teeth and condemning me to a lifetime of discomfort, disfigurement and dentists' bills. I still feel bitter about it and if he was rich and famous I might be tempted to shame, sue, coerce or even blackmail him into giving me some of his very great wealth because he, a miserable petty criminal, had made it big in life while I suffered at his hands. However he is not famous and he is probably still poor and the prospect of delving into Tyne & Wear Police archives to find his name and the statements then trace him and bring a civil action or persuade the DPP to bring a criminal action is too daunting and too far-fetched.
Probably a rather naive statement to make but that's how I feel about having been assaulted and seen the bloke get off scott-free.
Probably a rather naive statement to make but that's how I feel about having been assaulted and seen the bloke get off scott-free.
DRHysted
Guru
- Location
- New Forest
I sit here in the unusual position of experiance, not of the victim, but of the accused.
Before I took refuge in Security I was a retail manager for a large chain of news agents. Part of my contract was accomodation at the main shop I was running. My supervisor wanted to move out of her parents house and thought my accomodation would be an easy way of doing it, so got one of the young shop assistants to place a sexual harasment charge against me (internally).
The first I knew was when the Area Manager arrived at the shop I was at that day and suspended me, with the instruction I was not to have any contact with any shop staff (rather difficult when you are living above the shop, so I stayed at my mothers). During the internal hearings afterwards I was advised by rep that if I was offered the chance of resigning with a clean record I should take it.
Thankfully I managed to prove my innocence. But after that experiance I resigned and took refuge in a job with little interaction with others. I can still remember the feeling the day I was sent home, and trying to explain to my mother what was going on, I can't explain it and don't want anyone else to experiance it for themselves.
As such I believe in innocence until proven guilty. Once proven guilty then do what you wish (I can think of some suitable punishments).
Before I took refuge in Security I was a retail manager for a large chain of news agents. Part of my contract was accomodation at the main shop I was running. My supervisor wanted to move out of her parents house and thought my accomodation would be an easy way of doing it, so got one of the young shop assistants to place a sexual harasment charge against me (internally).
The first I knew was when the Area Manager arrived at the shop I was at that day and suspended me, with the instruction I was not to have any contact with any shop staff (rather difficult when you are living above the shop, so I stayed at my mothers). During the internal hearings afterwards I was advised by rep that if I was offered the chance of resigning with a clean record I should take it.
Thankfully I managed to prove my innocence. But after that experiance I resigned and took refuge in a job with little interaction with others. I can still remember the feeling the day I was sent home, and trying to explain to my mother what was going on, I can't explain it and don't want anyone else to experiance it for themselves.
As such I believe in innocence until proven guilty. Once proven guilty then do what you wish (I can think of some suitable punishments).
Too right there isn't - there's still a culture where victims are expected to put a sock in it and stop embarrassing poor respectable celebrities over what happened all-those-years ago. See your OP for example. Listen to yourself, and go easy on the cliches about lives destroyed by false accusation. You don't need to be anonymous to defend yourself against an accusation of rape, any more than you need to be anonymous to defend yourself against an accusation of burglary - it's nonsense, and you ought to be ashamed of yourself.
EltonFrog
Legendary Member
I wonder if I could now bring a prosecution for assault against my old headmaster at my school for giving me the cane? He hit me six times on the backside hard enough to make me cry, and leave welts on my behind. He did it on two separate occasions for some minor misdemeanor like playing truant, swearing in class. It was early 1971, I was 13, a child. That behaviour was comon place those days, it is not accepted now, it should not have been accepted then. I wonder if I would have case, if I could prove it?
