WHAT??!!

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Andy_R

Hard of hearing..I said Herd of Herring..oh FFS..
Location
County Durham
Sorry to hear this Doug, but depression is something that those of us who suffer from it, either choose to pretend it isn't happening (There's nothing wrong with me, mental health issues? Noooo wayyy...), or we don't recognise it in our selves until it is too late. Social stigma and the fear of mental health issues lead to more people commiting suicide than we realise. It's about time we as a society recognise mental health problems as illnesses in the same spectrum as cancer, heart disease, and any other life threatening illness. I speak here from personal experience - 6 years ago I was at the point in my life where I was sitting on the bathroom floor with a sharp pressed against my wrist, but (luckily) I was at such a low point that even making the decision to cut or not to was too much of a decision. I also have an older sister who is probably one of my best friends who suffers from a bi-polar disorder who has been hospitalised after suicide attempts. Please don't blame your family friend for taking his own life, as he would have been at a point in his life where his view would have been that to remove himself from this life would be the best solution for eveyone, not just himself. Instead, try to encourage people to celebrate his life.
 

Pat "5mph"

A kilogrammicaly challenged woman
Moderator
Location
Glasgow
Just reading this, Doug, sorry about your loss.
I remember the spot you pointed out on our ride.
Be sure, had you known about your friend's depression, there would have been nothing you could have done to change his mind.
Like Norm said, there are places that most of us will never understand.
Let's be glad of that.
 

ttcycle

Cycling Excusiast
Well, Doug if you need anything just shout out here.

I think Andy R upthread has said something pertinent - suicide and the impact it has on loved ones and friends is no doubt devastating but it takes a special kind of unrelenting darkness to get to those points where you feel that this is the only option to rid the burden that you believe you are placing on family and friends. Having been there and had personal experience of the dark days, it is a strange, strange thing and would not wish it on anyone, unfortunately, stigma does still exist and I know that I talk about my own mental wellness/unwellness frankly but there is a dogged side of me that doesn't want to admit to being ill or weak. Matters of the mind are a strange thing.
 
OP
OP
M

Mad Doug Biker

Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
Location
Craggy Island
Just reading this, Doug, sorry about your loss.
I remember the spot you pointed out on our ride.
Be sure, had you known about your friend's depression, there would have been nothing you could have done to change his mind.
Like Norm said, there are places that most of us will never understand.
Let's be glad of that.

Yes it was just past where the cows were, going towards Balloch.
 
OP
OP
M

Mad Doug Biker

Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
Location
Craggy Island
It's ok. I am ok too by the way, it was just a shock, but on hearing what I didn't know it doesn't seem so enigmatic... mysterious... I can't think of the right word currently.

As I say, it's his wife I feel for.
 
OP
OP
M

Mad Doug Biker

Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
Location
Craggy Island
.....Senseless, that's the word!
 

Sandra6

Veteran
Location
Cumbria
So sorry to hear about your friend, my heart goes out to his family and friends.
Depression is such a secret illness, even those really close to a person often don't know what state their mental health is in - until it's too late.
A friend of mine lost her brother in law in an apparent accident, which turned out to be a suicide due to depression. They, like you, hadn't a clue until it was too late.
Don't beat yourself up with second guessing and what-if's.
 
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