When does this become spying?

[domtyler]

A listening device is used in our house in order to monitor our daughters breathing, whether she is distressed and needs comforting.

She has recently had her first birthday and is walking freely, verging on talking, can do lots of 'clever' things like sorting shapes etc. She is definitely starting to become more aware of herself and others too, and is now starting to wonder what this bit does, what that bit does and so on.

I am now starting to think that this practise is slowly becoming like spying on her when she is in bed or her room alone and it's beginning to make me feel slightly uncomfortable. Is this feeling premature or are we performing a gross invasion of this young girls privacy?

 

[TheDoctor]

I'd feel a bit concerned if you're still doing this when she's in her teens! I wouldn't worry if she's only one though.

 

[domtyler]

Yeah, my missus feels the same, i.e. that I am being a bit silly. My point is that she is clearly no longer a 'baby'. She is quickly becoming a toddler, a small person with her own personality and views on life. I am just wondering what is to be gained from listening in on her all the time. At what point does it become spying on her? I am pretty sure there is no real chance of cot death by now.

 

[ChrisKH]

Fair point. I tend to forget when I stopped using the monitor for my youngest son but it must have been about his first birthday. Probably when they can hail you adequately when they are in trouble would be a good time.

On a recent visit to my s-i-l's I felt it a bit strange, no almost uncomfortable, that she continues to use one for her twin sons and they are going on six. What's the point except one of control? I can trust my 5 and 7 year old explicitly upstairs without them being in constant earshot.

 

[mickle]

A listening device is used in our house in order to monitor our daughters breathing, whether she is distressed and needs comforting.

She has recently had her first birthday and is walking freely, verging on talking, can do lots of 'clever' things like sorting shapes etc. She is definitely starting to become more aware of herself and others too, and is now starting to wonder what this bit does, what that bit does and so on.

I am now starting to think that this practise is slowly becoming like spying on her when she is in bed or her room alone and it's beginning to make me feel slightly uncomfortable. Is this feeling premature or are we performing a gross invasion of this young girls privacy?

Have you taken a nosey at her diary yet?

 

[col]

We used ours until our son was relatively free from the cot death worry,cant remember exactly,but i wouldnt be worried about using it,until your happy not to.I cant see how your invading her privacy?Whats she doing,scheming to elope or something?

 

[rich p]

Nothing wrong with that but my advice would be to get a discreet camera fixed up in the au pair's room

 

[gavintc]

You modern parents are up your own bums with worry over your kids welfare and have bought in nicely to the 'safe and secure' crap pushed by the companies selling this pseudo safety crap. Any kid over say 15, never had this level of monitoring and I would suggest that the level of cot deaths etc has not changed a bit.

I presume that you will sustain this molly coddling to the extent that cycling to school will be 'too' dangerous and the little one can only be conveyed in a nice big 4x4.

 

[Blue]

I think that you are making the common mistake of "little Anne can pile three bricks so she is a budding genius with the ability to conceptualise and I needn't monitor closely". You are probably wrong on both counts, although I hope you do have a little genius!!

Pay attention to the news - things can go wrong with children older that 1.

 

[bonj2]

Kids don't acquire a sense of perception until the age of 10 anyway so I wouldn't worry.

 

[domtyler]

Kids don't acquire a sense of perception until the age of 10 anyway so I wouldn't worry.

Perception of what?

I think I understand what you are saying though and that is quite useful, thanks.

 

[bonj2]

Perception of what?

I think I understand what you are saying though and that is quite useful, thanks.

The 'wider world' in general...
Other people being people, rather than just 'beings' that the child experiences as they go through their life...

 

[domtyler]

You modern parents are up your own bums with worry over your kids welfare and have bought in nicely to the 'safe and secure' crap pushed by the companies selling this pseudo safety crap. Any kid over say 15, never had this level of monitoring and I would suggest that the level of cot deaths etc has not changed a bit.

I presume that you will sustain this molly coddling to the extent that cycling to school will be 'too' dangerous and the little one can only be conveyed in a nice big 4x4.

Always amazes me how people even bother coming out with this crap. How hard is it to google up some figures before posting? It just took me about thirty seconds to come up with this article:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/410747.stm

which totally contradicts what you say.

Are you suggesting that the welfare of my child is not worth me bothering with? I would be at best a neglectful parent and at worst a fecking monster if I didn't take an interest in my daughters wellbeing, is that what you are saying I should do?

 

[gavintc]

Always amazes me how people even bother coming out with this crap. How hard is it to google up some figures before posting? It just took me about thirty seconds to come up with this article:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/410747.stm

which totally contradicts what you say.

Are you suggesting that the welfare of my child is not worth me bothering with? I would be at best a neglectful parent and at worst a fecking monster if I didn't take an interest in my daughters wellbeing, is that what you are saying I should do?

read the article, it supports other factors as being responsible for an improvement; sleeping on back, reduced smoking but does not mention baby monitoring.

 

[domtyler]

read the article, it supports other factors as being responsible for an improvement; sleeping on back, reduced smoking but does not mention baby monitoring.

Very true, I'm sure there is no evidence for the monitors themselves ever having saved a life. It's not me who wants/uses it though, it's the wife. It gives her peace of mind.