'Lesbian Woman'
There is a woman in probably her '70s who I have seen in Dumbarton a few times. She walks about in a large flowerprint dress and hat, but what marks her out is that she seems to think everyone is talking about her, and will react, often with rather amusing consequences.
I remember one day, I was waiting for a bus on the high street along with various other people, including a couple of teenage girls and this woman.
The girls were talking amongst themselves, when all of a sudden this woman started in a very loud voice
'I am NOT a Lesbian! I heard you saying I was, don't deny it!' (Indicating to the girls, who simultaneously starting pissing themselves with laughter whilst defending themselves).
She went onto to tell us all several times that she wasn't, the local paper had said that she was, but she had fought to clear her name, but now everyone (apparently) thought that she was, and that, if she heard anyone else calling her one again she'd call the Police.
We were all standing thinking 'WTF?' and there was a lot of rather bemused laughter, which obviously didn't make matters any better. We didn't quite know what to do.
Eventually she just wandered off.
I didn't hear what the girls had said, but it was clear they didn't know this woman from Adam, and if they had, then they couldn't have given the tiniest little flying fart about her.
I've seen her since but I stay clear!