Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
If I see another cyclist coming I'll first check my GPS map to see if there's any chance of turning off before we meet. I also scan the terrain to see if there are any bushes where I can hide, pretending to have a wee. If these options are not open, I put the evil fluence on them in the hope that they will fall into the ditch, or be carried away by a great bird.
If all of this fails, I wave and smile sweetly as we approach, all the time muttering insults. I then pretend to scratch my ear while really making surreptitious V-signs at them as we pass.
If all of this fails, I wave and smile sweetly as we approach, all the time muttering insults. I then pretend to scratch my ear while really making surreptitious V-signs at them as we pass.