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where's the friday jokes then ?

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by urbanrider, 14 Sep 2007.

  1. urbanrider

    urbanrider New Member

    Location:
    london
    Oh Please somebody i need the friday joke
     
  2. me too just logged on to check for one...

    2 snowmen in a field one turns to the other and says "can you smell carrots?"

    Sorry i'll leave now

    Windy
     
  3. Lefire

    Lefire New Member

    Location:
    Colchester
    I've just won £32m on the lottery



    This must be a joke or I would be sitting on a hot beach now rather than at my PC.
     
  4. Pottsy

    Pottsy ...

    Location:
    SW London
    What do Essex girls use for protection when they're having sex?

    A bus shelter.
     
  5. how do you know when the bagpipes are out of tune?

    they just are
     
  6. how do you know the stage is level?

    the drummer dribbles out of both sides of his mouth
     
  7. Bigtallfatbloke

    Bigtallfatbloke New Member

    I live in Essex ..hmm...maybe I should give up cycling and get the bus?
     
  8. Lefire

    Lefire New Member

    Location:
    Colchester
    It's an old one but it'll get things started. Unless we want more Essex Girl Jokes...


    A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the counter. The bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag.

    The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about one foot high and sets him on the counter. He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a small piano, setting it on the counter as well. He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench, which he places in front of the piano.

    The little man sits down at the piano and starts playing a beautiful piece by Mozart! "Where on earth did you get that?" says the bartender.

    The man responds by reaching into the paper bag. This time he pulls out a magic lamp. He hands it to the bartender and says: "Here, Rub it."

    So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there 's a gust of smoke and a beautiful genie is standing before him. "I will grant you one wish. Just one wish -- each person is only allowed one!"

    The bartender gets real excited. Without hesitating he says, "I want a million bucks!" A few moments later, a duck walks into the bar. It is soon followed by another duck, then another. Pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks and they keep coming!

    The bartender turns to the man and says, "Y'know, I think your genie's a little deaf. I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks."

    "Tell me about it!!" says the man, "do you really think I asked for a 10 inch pianist?"
     
  9. what's the difference between a dead hedgehog and a set of bagpipes in the road?

    skid marks in front of the hedgehog
     
  10. jonathan ellis

    jonathan ellis Well-Known Member

    Location:
    London
    what do you call two rows of cabbages?





    a dual cabbage way
     
  11. Lefire

    Lefire New Member

    Location:
    Colchester
    What do essex girls put behind their ears to make them look more attractive.....

    Their legs...
     
  12. right that is all the jokes i know can someone please put a funny and or rude one on the thread?

    Windy
     
  13. jonathan ellis

    jonathan ellis Well-Known Member

    Location:
    London
    where does a 12 foot grizzy bear sit in the pub?




    anywhere it wants
     
  14. Pottsy

    Pottsy ...

    Location:
    SW London
    What's the difference between an Essex girl and a walrus?

    One's fat and ugly with whiskers and stinks of fish, and the other one is a walrus.
     
  15. jonathan ellis

    jonathan ellis Well-Known Member

    Location:
    London
    whats green and eats nuts?


    syphilis