Whisky Descriptions.....how pretentious

[CanucksTraveller]

Now, in part, that is my point.
You said you could "taste grassy tones". When have you ever eaten grass ??

Have you not?
I've not sat down to a plateful, admittedly. But as a kid I chewed grass all the time. Playing football I'd occasionally end up face first in it. And I know what it smells like (and smell is intertwined with taste). So when Tusker beer is described as grassy I know exactly what the taster means... and it does!

 

[HobbesOnTour]

The trouble with educating your palate in the finer points of whisky is that it gets very expensive ! I reckon I’m better off as an uneducated philistine, this allows me to enjoy plenty that are under £50 so there’s no point in me trying anything “better”.

In fairness, I don't believe that more expensive means better, and I don't think I've advocated only trying expensive whiskies.
The OP has (in my opinion) received a great gift and perhaps like someone who is given an old bike and wonders "what the hell am I going to do with this?", I've offered directions on possible routes.
Some of the finest whiskies are a lot less than 50 quid. And some at 500 quid and above are absolute muck!

Re cycle tours, in some parts of Speyside they would be very short tours ! Dufftown alone has 6 of them

And this is where we're all different! - to me that sounds like a wonderful 7 day bike tour

 

[mustang1]

Our son bought me a 12 months sub to "Whisky Me" and I get a different 5 CL sample each month.
Yesterdays is 25 year old Glenfarclas which (and I condense this) they describe as......
Seeded toast
Cherry liqueur
Ginger bread man (ehh?)
Honey
Double cream
And to finish........remnants of cut grass in a dry, musty finish.
Who the hell writes this drivel ?

Watch this movie: Sideways

 

[HobbesOnTour]

And all the ones he rates 90% are pretty damned good providing you like that style of whisky.

One thing to remember about these books is that most writers make their living in this way. As well as books and magazine articles, they are also commissioned by distilleries, importers etc. to present tastings, do workshops etc. Harsh reviews can hurt their income

But you're absolutely right - these books can be a treasure trove of information, even the old ones and are often available very cheaply in second hand book stores.

 

[Chris S]

Now, in part, that is my point.
You said you could "taste grassy tones". When have you ever eaten grass ??

Taste and smell are very closely related.

 

[Beebo]

Have you not?
I've not sat down to a plateful, admittedly. But as a kid I chewed grass all the time. Playing football I'd occasionally end up face first in it. And I know what it smells like (and smell is intertwined with taste). So when Tusker beer is described as grassy I know exactly what the taster means... and it does!

I still eat grass now in my 40s. A nice thick juicy stem in May is delightful.

 

[byegad]

We used to eat at a rather nice restaurant locally. The food was good, but plain rather than Cordon Bleu but the wine descriptions were hilarious.
'A subtle blend of melon and raspberries with a glossy, treacle finish.' For a bottle of white I could, and often did, buy in Tescos for £7.50!

 

[oldwheels]

Well they are not going to say it whiffs of peat bog and stagnant water are they?

The managing director of the company I worked for described Laphroig as like old unwashed socks steeped in disinfectant. I didn't like to ask how he knew.

 

[PK99]

All you need to know about alcohol is the price and percentage.

A bit like bike gears then. All you need to know is how many teeth

 

[oldwheels]

I sort-of have some sympathy with wine and whisky writers, in that you're trying to describe the indescribable.
Kiwi Savs, frinstance, are often said to be 'grassy'. Now, I've never eaten grass, but I know what cut grass smells like, and the wine reminds me of it. Laphroiag, and Islay malts in general, always smell of the seaside and burning peat, in a way that Irish whiskey doesn't.

Perhaps my sense of taste has changed over the years but the Islay whiskies seem to have a less pronounced peat and seaweed than say 50 years ago.

 

[oldwheels]

All you need to know about alcohol is the price and percentage.

That may apply to the bottom of the range of any of the spirits but as you go up in quality {not necessarily in price} there are marked differences.
I used to colour whisky for the American market and the importers wanted it dark as they said Americans in general though a dark whisky was better than a light colour one.

 

[PK99]

In parallel to this thread I'm in WattsApp conversation with a wine guru about an Australian shiraz gin. A batch distilled gin steeped, sloe gin like, with shiraz grapes for several months.

First hit was black pepper. After a while, I'd describe it as juniper overlayed with eucalyptus, coffee and mint with a black pepper finish.

If someone described it as tasting like alcoholic cough medicine, I would agree.

But I'd ask them to describe the elements of how cough medecine tastes.

Tasting is a skill involving putting aside ones surface response and working out the component parts.

Edit

A sip or few later, I'd add in elements of Caribbean molasses based dark rum to the flavour set.

 

[Dave7]

The managing director of the company I worked for described Laphroig as like old unwashed socks steeped in disinfectant. I didn't like to ask how he knew.

I don't think its that nice tbh

 

[Profpointy]

One thing to remember about these books is that most writers make their living in this way. As well as books and magazine articles, they are also commissioned by distilleries, importers etc. to present tastings, do workshops etc. Harsh reviews can hurt their income

But you're absolutely right - these books can be a treasure trove of information, even the old ones and are often available very cheaply in second hand book stores.

I think Jackson was very much the real deal though. I've also got his book on Belgian Beer, which is more of a narrative of brewery trips etc but he clearly loves what he does. He did do a TV programme back in the day - and he was every inch the CAMRA stereotype - scruffy tweed jacket and mumbling into his equally scruffy beard - so he wasn't a good broadcaster at all but his writing is wonderful.

 

[Profpointy]

Regarding the price vs quality thing - the very best and very worst malt whiskies I've tasted have been Ardberg. The best was a premium offering my made had from the Malt Whisky Society - I don't know the price but I'm guessing nearer £100 than £50 - and the very worst was another premium one we tried at a malt whisky tasting event. For your entry fee you could try any number of mainstream malts but you had a small number of tokens for the dearer ones, and we swapped two free tokens for the next grade token and tried the ardberg £100+ - neither of us liked it one little bit, it was quite unpleasant. Ordinary Ardberg 10 from the supermarket is very nice indeed

And a grade or two down - I prefer the "ordinary" white label Bushmills whiskey to their dearer Black Bush, and their single malt version was quite disappointing (dull rather than unpleasant)