Who Is Jack Schitt?

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Angelfishsolo

A Velocipedian
WHO IS JACK SCHITT?

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?

We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!'

Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N Schitt, Inc.

They had one son, Jack. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.

After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.

Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.

The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.

He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

NOW when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.
 

Rhythm Thief

Veteran
Jack Schitt is also a character in Jasper Fforde's whodunnit/nursery rhyme/science fiction "Thursday Next" novels.
 
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Angelfishsolo

A Velocipedian
It's been a long time since anyone has called me kid :eek:
Carwash said:
AFS, you give your location as Cwmbach - does that make you the 'Cwmbach Kid'? ;D
 

snakehips

Well-Known Member
Apparently there is another branch of this famous family in Brazil , remember Rafael Scheidt ?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rafael_Scheidt

... and from the Observer ...

Rafael Scheidt
Joined: Celtic from Gremio in December 1999
Transfer fee: £4.8m
Today his fee is worth: £4.9m
Today he would cost: £9.8m
Stuart Slater, Tony Cascarino, Eyal Berkovic¿ Celtic could fill the whole list (of bad buys) themselves, but the worst of a very bad lot is one of the most recent, Rafael Felipe Scheidt. When the John Barnes-Kenny Dalglish regime splashed out nearly five mill on a 23-year-old Brazilian international defender the Celtic faithful could be forgiven for thinking they'd made a spectacular signing. In a sense they had. Beset by injuries, and unable to settle, his form was terrible - 'the guy couldnae trap a bag of cement,' one team-mate remarked (his two caps came in friendlies). Even the club's understandable decision to put his first name on his shirt rebounded, upsetting his father. Scheidt started only one league game in the 1999/2000 season and was shipped out on loan by Martin O'Neill, apparently after being given the runaround in a friendly at Bray Wanderers.
Loaned to Corinthians in 2000 after just three appearances.
 
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