Hi guys and gals
Many of you were very supportive before Christmas when family problems were getting to me and I made a New Year's resolution to become more emotionally resilient. Here is that thread. I appreciate the support you all gave me and thank you for it.
To cut a long story short, I have just completed the Hoffman process, which was a week-long retreat that involved looking at patterns of behaviour that I had inherited from my parents and they from theirs. Then I expressed my anger at my childhood and forgave my parents and myself. After that I rediscovered my sense of humour and had some fun with the others on the process. I will need to do ongoing work to reinforce what I learnt and make sure I am leading my life rather than the miserable life my family leads and wants me to lead too.
I feel much better and am confident the changes will be long-lasting. I have already noticed a change in how other people relate to me and want to keep hold of that.
I am not sure if my family will stay in my life in the same way as previously. I realise I have held grudges and so punished them for past hurts they inflicted on me; I plan to make amends. However I can only change myself and as long as they regard me as the scapegoat and the odd one out, I am better off keeping them at a distance while leaving the door open to a better relationship in future.
Glad to be back in the land of the living!
Many of you were very supportive before Christmas when family problems were getting to me and I made a New Year's resolution to become more emotionally resilient. Here is that thread. I appreciate the support you all gave me and thank you for it.
To cut a long story short, I have just completed the Hoffman process, which was a week-long retreat that involved looking at patterns of behaviour that I had inherited from my parents and they from theirs. Then I expressed my anger at my childhood and forgave my parents and myself. After that I rediscovered my sense of humour and had some fun with the others on the process. I will need to do ongoing work to reinforce what I learnt and make sure I am leading my life rather than the miserable life my family leads and wants me to lead too.
I feel much better and am confident the changes will be long-lasting. I have already noticed a change in how other people relate to me and want to keep hold of that.
I am not sure if my family will stay in my life in the same way as previously. I realise I have held grudges and so punished them for past hurts they inflicted on me; I plan to make amends. However I can only change myself and as long as they regard me as the scapegoat and the odd one out, I am better off keeping them at a distance while leaving the door open to a better relationship in future.
Glad to be back in the land of the living!
