why does everyone now say "partner" ???

[Fnaar]

Mrs F isn't actually Mrs F, as we're not married. But we've been together for 22years, and 'girlfriend' doesn't sound right. But I hate 'partner', so I just call her my wife. I work with a variety of people from overseas, many of whom are rather conservative in their outlook... I delight in telling them we're not married, we've been together for so long, and we have 3 kids... it challenges their world view in a way that I think is healthy. Anyway, off to have a cuppa with 'er indoors.

 

[palinurus]

i genuinely think they believe its a fashion trend.

Not here. It just works better than anything else.

 

[Kirstie]

People have been saying partner for years! My understanding is that it's a generic term which describes the status of someone to whom you've got a long term commitment and with whom you share your life . It's usually deployed to avoid those awkward moments which come from assumptions and prejudices about marital status, sexuality and so on. There are so many different kinds of relationships these days, to me it's less acceptable to assume the dominance of one particular kind of legally sanctioned relationship, which is not without its contraversies (marital rape legal in the UK until 1989/90, anyone?), than to acknowledge that everyone may be different, appearances are deceptive, and thus use a generic term instead.

 

[jig-sore]

(forsooth) fair comments but im still not keen on it. i think its very.... er.... cold maybe ?


this is my partner... we run a shop together. and this is my "partner", she's my wife. she's an actor you know !!! nope dont like it.

shall be sticking with wife

PS: the forsooth comment made me laugh

 

[Andy in Sig]

I dislike the term simply because in its very attempt to be gender and god knows what else neutral, it is just that: sterile, bland and vaguely inhuman. I respect the right of people to use it but I never would. Life doesn't have to be boring.

 

[Over The Hill]

better than "other half" which I really hate and have never used.

 

[PBancroft]

truth is, this was started by people in same sex relationships to avoid any unpleasantness from others because some rather pathetic people in this world cant except people for who they are.

now the sheep seem to have followed blindly along and everyone uses it.

Oi! I used to call my wife my partner before we got married.

The reason is this: We had been together a long time beforehand, lived together for years, and we'd discussed marriage but decided it was something we didn't want to do at the time. The problem was most people kind of assumed we were married. If we went down the route of calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend it felt a bit weird as the relationship was more than that, but unlike Fnaar we didn't want to tell people we were married when we weren't.

Even more than that if we referred to each other as boyfriend/girlfriend we then had to have that conversation with people. You know the one, when people get nosy and start asking why you aren't married yet, and when the wedding is, and what will you do when you decide to have kids etc. etc. So she was my partner - it avoided uncomfortableness on all sides.

Then we got married, and now she's my wife.

 

[Arch]

I dislike the term simply because in its very attempt to be gender and god knows what else neutral, it is just that: sterile, bland and vaguely inhuman. I respect the right of people to use it but I never would. Life doesn't have to be boring.

So, people who use it are boring? Charming.

Horses for courses. In some situations I'd say boyfriend, in more formal situations, partner. The bit that matters is having someone to refer to, however you say it.

 

[MontyVeda]

TBH I prefer 'the wife' to 'my wife'... if me and mi bird ever did get married, she'd definitely be The Wife, much more pc than 'My Wife'.

Re 'partner', I've got so used to hearing it as a term for 'the person i sleep with' that i do a double take everytime somebody refers to their business partner and their 'partner'.

In an ideal world people should be conformable enough and proud enough if they're male to say 'my boyfriend/husband/hubby/fella/wife/missus/'er indoors/whatever and obviously vice versa.

better than "other half" which I really hate and have never used.

yeah i'm not a fan of that.. best responded with "What you've got a Siamese twin?"

 

[ufkacbln]

My wife was told that she would be Ms in the telephone directory at her place of work as Mrs was discriminatory and was against the equalityident and diversity policy as it identified between homosexual and heterosexual couples.

She was also told that she was unable to use the title "Sister" as it was again gender specific.


After some correspondence we retained the "Sister" title after she offered "Non hierarchical patient care facilitator" as an option and evidence that "Sister" was a professional title that she was entitled to use.

However the Ms is still ongoing.......

 

[MontyVeda]

this is where the real issue lies... when poeple in the work place are told how they should and shouldn't refer to themselves, their role or the people they're in a relationship with... and is probably the source of my own dislike of the term partner.

 

[marinyork]

Don't see the problem, I would argue that contrary to popular belief that partner is actually the correct term, whereas marriage was merely something invented to distort things (and not the other way round).

 

[jig-sore]

(forsooth) who's gonna be the first to say "life partner" !?!?!?

oh shite, it was me

now that does sound naff

 

[Arch]

(forsooth) who's gonna be the first to say "life partner" !?!?!?

oh shite, it was me

now that does sound naff

Are you going to start every post with Forsooth! now?

 

[DTD]

Mrs F isn't actually Mrs F, as we're not married. But we've been together for 22years, and 'girlfriend' doesn't sound right.

For the same sort of reasons – we've been together nearly 20 years (and are nearer 50 than 40) 'girlfriend' doesn't seem to cover it. Can't imagine us ever getting married (read the 'Origins of the Family, Private Property and the State' by Engels to see one reason why).

Depends on who I'm talking to what phrase I'll use – sometimes it's 'partner', sometimes it's "She Who Must Be Obeyed" etc. I think it's partly about not defining someone else purely in terms of their relationship to you. If I had children they'd be "insert name here" not my child.

I don't think 'partner' originated in same-sex couples.

Whatever you feel comfortable with though.