I was on my way to a hot (first) date when I trod in a dog jobby. Obviously I was out to impress so I thought I'd best clean it off.
I used a bit of twig to clean out the tread of my shoe, sweeping it down the way. One bit wouldn't come off so I swept up the way. BIG MISTAKE. The twig curved as it scraped the lump off my shoe and then pinged it up onto my eyelid. I used a leaf to try and wipe it off and only succeeded in smearing the poo into my eyebrow, where it stuck to all the hairs.
I may have been a bit whiffy, but the date went OK and we're married now. I think that's despite, not because of my "organic eyeliner."