Rhythm Thief
Veteran
Money
1 I pay my bills on time and consistently save 10 per cent of my income.Yes and No
2 All my tax returns have been submitted and any tax owing has been paid. There are no legal clouds hanging over me.Yes
3 I have adequate medical insurance and rarely miss work because of illness.No and Yes
4 I am on a professional career track that is financially and personally rewarding. No and Yes (I have a job, not a career, but I love it)
5 My source of income is stable and predictable, and I live well within my means. Yes and No
6 My will is up to date, and I know how much I am worth financially.No
7 My financial situation doesn’t keep me awake at night, and I have a financial plan for the next three to five years. Yes and No
8 My personal assets are all adequately insured. No
9 I have a sum equivalent to at least six months’ living expenses set aside in a savings account. Certainly not
10 I am in a relationship with others who can help with my career/professional development. What?
Wellbeing
1 I walk or exercise at least three times a week.Yes (sometimes)
2 I have had a complete physical examination in the past two years, including vision and hearing.No
3 I have a rewarding life beyond my professional responsibilities. Yes. What kind of saddo doesn't?
4 I do not use illegal drugs or tobacco, or misuse prescription medication. I use illegal drugs and tobacco but I don't misuse prescription drugs.
5 I regularly take evenings and weekends off, and take at least three weeks’ holiday Yes
6 My blood pressure and cholesterol count are normal and my weight is in the ideal range. Not sure
7 I brush and floss my teeth daily and have been to the dentist in the past six months. Yes and no
8 I rarely watch more than five hours of television a week.Yes
9 I drink caffeine and/or alcohol moderately and don’t rely on adrenaline to “get the job done”.Sort of, sometimes
10 I have something to look forward to virtually every day. Yes
Relationships
1 I don’t gossip or talk negatively about others, and I don’t take personally what others say about me. yes
2 I have a circle of friends/family who love and appreciate me for who I am, not just for what I do. Yes
3 There is no one I would dread meeting or feel uncomfortable encountering at a party, an airport terminal or on the street.Yes
4 I have a best friend or soulmate with whom I can share confidences and intimate thoughts, and I regularly tell my parents, siblings, children and spouse/significant other that I love them. Yes and no
5 I almost always put people first and results second. WTF does that mean?
6 I am a person of my word. Others can count on me to mean what I say. Yes
7 Rather than complaining, I make requests of others so they know how they can help me. No, I'm English. I complain about them to others or under my breath.
8 I get along well with my coworkers, clients and staff.What's a cow orker?
9 I return telephone calls and e-mails within 24 hours.No
10 I do not inappropriately express anger or rage towards others. yes
Physical environment
1 My personal files, papers and receipts are filed away neatly.Har har. No
2 My car is in excellent condition. It does not need any mechanical work or repairs, cleaning or replacing.It's filthy, rusty, full of sweet wrappers and apple cores and twenty years old. But it has an MOT
3 My clothes are clean, pressed, well-fitting, and make me look great. Don't be stupid. I make Bob Geldof look like Beau Brummel
4 I live in a house/flat that I love in the area of my choice. Yes
5 My plants and animals are healthy and have everything they need to thrive. What plants and animals?
6 I surround myself with beautiful things, appropriate to my income level, without being ostentatious, superficial or flashy.Depends
7 I practise recycling. Yes
8 My work environment is inspiring and productive. Not really
9 My home is neat and clean (beds made, carpets vacuumed, cupboards clean).No. Clean house, boring life
10 I do not injure myself, fall, or bump into things. Unless I'm pissed
Spirituality
1 I have a regular “quiet time” of prayer, meditation or reflection. Don't be ridiculous
2 I have regular sessions with a spiritual director, mentor or coach. See above
3 I am connected to and in conversation with my circle of close friends.I do have friends, yes
4 I do not use profane or obscene language to express myself to others.Yeah, right
5 I feel that I am loved by God/my higher power unconditionally. Aargh! Religion!
6 I regularly give time, gifts and financial resources to help others.Sometimes
7 I feel personal accountability for the stewardship/care of Nature, plants and animals.No, do I ****
8 I often experience a sense of “awe” and/or “mystery” about life.No
9 I do not harbour any unresolved resentment, animosity or ill-will toward others. Sometimes
10 I believe that I am a person of infinite worth and affirm others as being of infinite worth. Yes and no
I don't know where that leaves me. The whole thing looks to be designed to make smug gits feel good about themselves and un selfconfident people feel even worse. Fortunately I can see it's all a pile of shite.
1 I pay my bills on time and consistently save 10 per cent of my income.Yes and No
2 All my tax returns have been submitted and any tax owing has been paid. There are no legal clouds hanging over me.Yes
3 I have adequate medical insurance and rarely miss work because of illness.No and Yes
4 I am on a professional career track that is financially and personally rewarding. No and Yes (I have a job, not a career, but I love it)
5 My source of income is stable and predictable, and I live well within my means. Yes and No
6 My will is up to date, and I know how much I am worth financially.No
7 My financial situation doesn’t keep me awake at night, and I have a financial plan for the next three to five years. Yes and No
8 My personal assets are all adequately insured. No
9 I have a sum equivalent to at least six months’ living expenses set aside in a savings account. Certainly not
10 I am in a relationship with others who can help with my career/professional development. What?
Wellbeing
1 I walk or exercise at least three times a week.Yes (sometimes)
2 I have had a complete physical examination in the past two years, including vision and hearing.No
3 I have a rewarding life beyond my professional responsibilities. Yes. What kind of saddo doesn't?
4 I do not use illegal drugs or tobacco, or misuse prescription medication. I use illegal drugs and tobacco but I don't misuse prescription drugs.
5 I regularly take evenings and weekends off, and take at least three weeks’ holiday Yes
6 My blood pressure and cholesterol count are normal and my weight is in the ideal range. Not sure
7 I brush and floss my teeth daily and have been to the dentist in the past six months. Yes and no
8 I rarely watch more than five hours of television a week.Yes
9 I drink caffeine and/or alcohol moderately and don’t rely on adrenaline to “get the job done”.Sort of, sometimes
10 I have something to look forward to virtually every day. Yes
Relationships
1 I don’t gossip or talk negatively about others, and I don’t take personally what others say about me. yes
2 I have a circle of friends/family who love and appreciate me for who I am, not just for what I do. Yes
3 There is no one I would dread meeting or feel uncomfortable encountering at a party, an airport terminal or on the street.Yes
4 I have a best friend or soulmate with whom I can share confidences and intimate thoughts, and I regularly tell my parents, siblings, children and spouse/significant other that I love them. Yes and no
5 I almost always put people first and results second. WTF does that mean?
6 I am a person of my word. Others can count on me to mean what I say. Yes
7 Rather than complaining, I make requests of others so they know how they can help me. No, I'm English. I complain about them to others or under my breath.
8 I get along well with my coworkers, clients and staff.What's a cow orker?
9 I return telephone calls and e-mails within 24 hours.No
10 I do not inappropriately express anger or rage towards others. yes
Physical environment
1 My personal files, papers and receipts are filed away neatly.Har har. No
2 My car is in excellent condition. It does not need any mechanical work or repairs, cleaning or replacing.It's filthy, rusty, full of sweet wrappers and apple cores and twenty years old. But it has an MOT
3 My clothes are clean, pressed, well-fitting, and make me look great. Don't be stupid. I make Bob Geldof look like Beau Brummel
4 I live in a house/flat that I love in the area of my choice. Yes
5 My plants and animals are healthy and have everything they need to thrive. What plants and animals?
6 I surround myself with beautiful things, appropriate to my income level, without being ostentatious, superficial or flashy.Depends
7 I practise recycling. Yes
8 My work environment is inspiring and productive. Not really
9 My home is neat and clean (beds made, carpets vacuumed, cupboards clean).No. Clean house, boring life
10 I do not injure myself, fall, or bump into things. Unless I'm pissed
Spirituality
1 I have a regular “quiet time” of prayer, meditation or reflection. Don't be ridiculous
2 I have regular sessions with a spiritual director, mentor or coach. See above
3 I am connected to and in conversation with my circle of close friends.I do have friends, yes
4 I do not use profane or obscene language to express myself to others.Yeah, right
5 I feel that I am loved by God/my higher power unconditionally. Aargh! Religion!
6 I regularly give time, gifts and financial resources to help others.Sometimes
7 I feel personal accountability for the stewardship/care of Nature, plants and animals.No, do I ****
8 I often experience a sense of “awe” and/or “mystery” about life.No
9 I do not harbour any unresolved resentment, animosity or ill-will toward others. Sometimes
10 I believe that I am a person of infinite worth and affirm others as being of infinite worth. Yes and no
I don't know where that leaves me. The whole thing looks to be designed to make smug gits feel good about themselves and un selfconfident people feel even worse. Fortunately I can see it's all a pile of shite.
