Your dream job.

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by Maggot, 19 Nov 2007.

  1. Maggot

    Maggot Guest

    Imagine you go for your dream job, but don't get it. Instead you wind up designing furniture for Ikea. What would you design, and what "Ikea" name would you give it?

    I would design a birch veneer and glass, two level television stand, with matching shelving units also available. It would have a small draw for the remote control unit, and would be called "Planko".
  2. simon l& and a half

    simon l& and a half New Member

    Streatham Hill
    I would design a bulldozer to flatten the Ikea store in Croydon and call it 'Diedre'.
  3. Jacomus-rides-Gen

    Jacomus-rides-Gen New Member

    Guildford / London
    I would design a wall mounted bicycle rack, with smooth curves, in European Cherry. Can be used to turn your sexy bike into a design feature, or simply to save space in the stable.

    Would be called 'Hänger"
  4. Dayvo

    Dayvo Just passin' through

  5. Tetedelacourse

    Tetedelacourse New Member

    I would radically change the face of the pouffe industry as we know it by designing a plastic pouffe with holes for the feet to go in not on.

    It would be called Fuksaak
  6. Melvil

    Melvil Standard nerd

    I would design an ergonomic toilet seat called 'Dodje'
  7. After the soaking I got tonight, I might design a very wide plastic tape measure type of thing - curved in cross section. It could be pulled out to the appropriate length, stand your bike in this 'guttering', and all the drips would be caught...thereby protecting your Vladkrapt laminate floor.
    I'd call it 'Sdroflah' ;)
    Of course, a garage is cool...
  8. longers

    longers Veteran

    I would design mattresses and bedding with holes in to let the crumbs through.

    Probably called the Skrofler range.
  9. Elmer Fudd

    Elmer Fudd Miserable Old Bar Steward

    I would design a metallic disc, that when you hit it would resonate with a musical tone, I would call it symbol simon
  10. papercorn2000

    papercorn2000 Senior Member

    I would design a handy set of retracting spikes that fits to your QR. At the flick of a switch it shoots out and scores the paintwork of the cager who has come far too close.

    It would be called a Fukkyu!
  11. Fab Foodie

    Fab Foodie hanging-on in quiet desperation ...


    I'd design a vibrating stool for love making and call it 'KumKwiq'
  12. Fab Foodie

    Fab Foodie hanging-on in quiet desperation ...

    Or a range of different sized empty flat-pack furniture boxes with nothing in them to make your neighbours think you're buying a lot of new furniture.
    I'm gonna call them 'Fakawl'
  13. TheDoctor

    TheDoctor Resistance is futile! Moderator

    I have seen the 'Nobb' storage box and the 'Dick' storage crate in Ikea.

    I wouldn't attempt to compete with that!
  14. I'd simply copy a bike multi-tool, to enable IKEAistas to cope with building furniture of any size, and call it "Allen".
  15. Fab Foodie

    Fab Foodie hanging-on in quiet desperation ...

    I'd like to give the following name to any flat-pack self assembly furniture...'Kwap'.

    Mind you, naming a range of bookcases 'billy' always seemed quite inspired...
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