Your Funeral

[ColinJ]

One of you can ziptie the ashes container to the back of your bike. It should have some small holes drilled in it so the ashes end up scattered over my favourite Pennine roads.

Pull the other one Coll, thats just a sneaky way of getting one of us to give you a backie up some stupidly steep hills

Personally I dont give a monkies what they do with my remains, as long as they keep the sky fairies out of it.

Curses - my dastardly plan is foiled. (Looks like it is back to 'Plan A' then - get fit and ride up the damn things unaided!)

I've thought of an addition to the memorial plan ... I will have recorded a video made up of photos and clips taken from (hopefully!) 25+ years of my forum rides which will be hosted at some secret URL which will be revealed to those who make it to the aforementioned Dales cafe/pub. Someone whip out a smart phone and look back on the great cycling we did together.

 

[soulful dog]

Whoever is dealing with my funeral can do what they'd like, makes no difference to me! I have however asked that my ashes be scattered up in Glencoe!

 

[dellzeqq]

I'm not that fussed about the ceremony, but I hope, and fully expect, that women, weeping uncontrollably, will throw small items of underwear on to the casket as it descends.

(phone rings)...................

ok - women and the Gregulator!

 

[Mr Phoebus]

I'm not that fussed about the ceremony, but I hope, and fully expect, that women, weeping uncontrollably, will throw small items of underwear on to the casket as it descends.

(phone rings)...................

ok - women and the Gregulator!

Your knee bandage should be buried with honours.

 

[tyred]

One of you can ziptie the ashes container to the back of your bike. It should have some small holes drilled in it so the ashes end up scattered over my favourite Pennine roads.

Colin, no offence mate but I don't want your ashes stuck all over my chain, turning into a grinding paste and causing premature wear.

 

[Holdsworth]

Shot into space on a rocket!

So far only ashes have gone up but hopefully technology will have advanced by the time I would hope to die, 50-60 years from now all being well!

 

[Grizzly]

The wife asked me the other day, where did I wanted to be buried? Apparently "b@!l deep in your sister" was not the right answer!

 

[ColinJ]

Colin, no offence mate but I don't want your ashes stuck all over my chain, turning into a grinding paste and causing premature wear.

Funnily enough, I thought of that after I posted! I'll settle for them to be scattered downwind of the Cyclechat posse from the top of a fine Yorkshire hill!

A colleague obeyed his dad's last wishes which were for his ashes to be scattered by his son from the cliff-tops near Whitby. A sudden gust of wind caught them and blew them back over the family and my pal found remnants of the ashes in his trouser turn-ups a week later!

 

[NormanD]

KFC for - Cremated
The longest drawn out service that could possibly be done in church (this will compensate for all the long boring conversations I've had to endure from the mourners over the years) ...enter the church to the beautiful sound of a speedway bike revving up, with my coffin above it.

Music upon entering = Black lace "agadoo doo doo" (this will give them something to hum while the vicar drums on and on and on)
Music during prayer = Celine Dion "I'm alive" (this will have a few of the mourners worried in case I am)
Upon leaving church = Meatloaf "Bat out of Hell" (well you have to go out in style)

Ashes = Hell I don't care, I'd be too busy laughing for years at what that lot had to endure while they said "Good Bye"!

 

[Milemuncher]

Hhmmmnn. Never thought of this. Funeral pyre round at the allotment and ashes left to scatter themselves while those left behind head to the pub? Yes, that'll do meantime.

 

[GetAGrip]

I want a simple cremation without a ceremony and to have my ashes divided between two containers.

My surviving family & friends will take their share of my ashes to be scattered in Scotland where my parents' were. If they feel the need for a ceremony, that's up to them, but I will stipulate that it should not be a religious one.

The other half of the ashes will be entrusted to one of you lot because I will have organised one last special forum ride for you! One of you can ziptie the ashes container to the back of your bike. It should have some small holes drilled in it so the ashes end up scattered over my favourite Pennine roads. I'll send you on a tour of some of the best bits of West Yorkshire, Lancashire and North Yorkshire with a trail of geocache clues leading to a buried plastic box containing £200 to spend at a cafe or a pub in some scenic spot in the Yorkshire Dales. Choose a sunny summer day for it and have fun!

Ahh, a little tear just dropped from my right eye onto my choccy cake

 

[fossyant]

One of you can ziptie the ashes container to the back of your bike. It should have some small holes drilled in it so the ashes end up scattered over my favourite Pennine roads.

Pull the other one Coll, thats just a sneaky way of getting one of us to give you a backie up some stupidly steep hills

Personally I dont give a monkies what they do with my remains, as long as they keep the sky fairies out of it.

I won't be doing that for anyone, what if I get your dust on my bike !

 

[ColinJ]

I won't be doing that for anyone, what if I get your dust on my bike !

Oh, do keep up!

Funnily enough, I thought of that after I posted! I'll settle for them to be scattered downwind of the Cyclechat posse from the top of a fine Yorkshire hill!

 

[Melonfish]

i would like my in tact body, un-prepared/embalmed to be sealed inside a capsule. then lifted into near earth orbit. attached to said tube will be ion engines or something similar.
i will then be fired into deep space.

any why not i ask you?
with luck some advanced alien race may be able to revive me, or at least i'll make an interesting lunch.

 

[Jonathing]

I'm not having one, I intended to live forever.