Help with funeral suit misery

[gbb]

Personally, having just arranged my wife's funeral, I made it clear that people (who asked) could wear what they wished but preferably respectable and toned down.
A grey suit is fine IMHO, I even wore a very very dark blue suit for my wife's.
There was quite a range of dress at hers from black to dark to grey suits, ladies generally wore dark, it was fairly relaxed in expectation.
Again, personally I never liked the idea people HAD to go out and spend their hard earned on a suit. Respectable is fine for me.

 

[gbb]

in Salisbury we have a Turkish tailor, who would alter the suit in a week, that’s what I would do.

Yep, my new suit (off the peg) was a tad too long in the leg, I think £15 at a local tailors and it was done while I went and did some shopping

 

[Profpointy]

Either of the top two, and for me the top top one looks the better fit. If there's time you can likely get it altered to fit perfectly. My local taylor happily did this with a poorly fitting suit I'd bought elsewhere, and with one of my late father's jackets.

As you know traditional funeral attire is black or dark grey suit, white shirt black long tie and shoes, unless the family have specifically indicated "bright colours", "club kit", or whatever. I'd not choose to wear the more jack-the-lad suits pictured.

For all that, as a general thing not everyone has a black suit, or a suit at all, so what really matters is turning up to pay your respects dressed as tidily as you are able.

 

[winjim]

I echo what other people have said, really. Whichever of the top two you're most comfortable in. Nobody's assessing the cut of your suit at a funeral and I doubt you'll be the only person there who's dragged an old outfit out from the back of the wardrobe.

Also, depending on the vibes it's an ice breaker at the wake. Stuck for conversation? Roll your eyes and talk about having to wear your old suit, everybody can identify with that so it's useful small talk.

 

[SteveH80]

Don't overthink it. It's not a fashion parade, your attendance and respect is what counts.

 

[Dogtrousers]

My wife went to her aunt's funeral. There she met her cousin (the aunt's daughter) who was wearing a red sparkly top. "Well, I don't get much chance to dress up these days".

 

[DCLane]

My father-in-law's funeral was held with the request to not have dark clothes.

It was an Irish funeral with an open coffin before-hand; he had requested to be dressed in a white suit, with white shirt, which we obliged and the undertaker did well.

So don't worry about what you're wearing.

 

[mistyoptic]

This is the tie I wear to funerals. Plain black tie / black plane tie , it’s almost the same thing. Started at the funeral of a good friend I used to go to air shows with and I’ve continued with it ever since

 

[presta]

Had I done the Lyke Wake Walk as planned, I'd intended to use the LWWA tie for funerals:

 

[YMFB]

So long since I wore a tie, I’m not entirely sure I remember how to tie one.

Strange now I look back, we wore suits and ties Mon-Fri can’t remember when it stopped but around 2000 would be my guess

 

[MontyVeda]

So long since I wore a tie, I’m not entirely sure I remember how to tie one.

...

Same here... but i haven't untied any of the ties i have. Just loosened and tightened when needed.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

So, @wafter, how did it go anyway?

Was it as horrendous as you thought it would be?
I mean, were the Fashion Police (AKA @Accy cyclist) there?

 

[Webbo2]

So long since I wore a tie, I’m not entirely sure I remember how to tie one.

Strange now I look back, we wore suits and ties Mon-Fri can’t remember when it stopped but around 2000 would be my guess

I will wear a tie for a funeral and weddings. I do have nice selection of ties and can remember how to tie one but due to 53 years of rock climbing and tendon repair on both shoulders. I can no longer reach behind my neck with both hands to fold down my collar. Most attempts to fasten my top shirt bottom usually leads to cramp in my bicep.
I have to rely on Mrs W to finish off dressing these days.😱

 

[wafter]

Thanks folks.

So, @wafter, how did it go anyway?

Was it as horrendous as you thought it would be?
I mean, were the Fashion Police (AKA @Accy cyclist) there?

In the end the first suit went back as the fit was crap, I wasn't particularly impressed with the quality and the cost was more than I was prepared to stomach as a stop-gap that looked bad and would never be right.

I managed to score a pure wool Zara suit in a dark navy from a charity shop for very little money, that I'd previously rejected for it's stupid skinny trousers, although at least they physically went over my legs (just) and I figured a slightly ill-fitting "appropriate" suit was better than a well-fitting "inappapropriate" suit.

Fit notwithstanding seems my choice was OK; and very much in keeping with the dress of the rest of those in attendence of a similar age. For context this was the funeral of a somewhat estranged friend's father for whom I had a great amount of respect, so there was little of the waggle room you might otherwise expect from a service for someone more contemporary; such as a friend where understandings, shared interests or in-jokes might be more likely and more deviant dress more acceptable as a result.

I'm glad I didn't wear the light blue suit as I'd have felt very out of place, and as it happens I did manage to give that an inaugural run at a fantastic Persian wedding I had the honour of being invited to the subsequent weekend; at which it seemed well-received

While the fickle fads of fashion are apparently now turning back towards more loose-fit trousers, I'm still not seeing this on the rack and chances are I'll have another funeral this year so I'm going to get a default-navy suit made as I've come to know a tailor who'll apparently do mates rates for larger orders and I have few friends also in the market.

Beyond that, if I'm happy with what I get on that occasion I'll maybe push the boat out and get something a bit more indulgent / flamboyant; perhaps a summer suit in linen and something more winter-appropriate in a nice earthy tweed.

Personally, having just arranged my wife's funeral, I made it clear that people (who asked) could wear what they wished but preferably respectable and toned down.
A grey suit is fine IMHO, I even wore a very very dark blue suit for my wife's.
There was quite a range of dress at hers from black to dark to grey suits, ladies generally wore dark, it was fairly relaxed in expectation.
Again, personally I never liked the idea people HAD to go out and spend their hard earned on a suit. Respectable is fine for me.

Thanks - while it shouldn't be necessary or obligatory to state a dress code I'm sure the guests appreciated a little guidance.

I hope it went well and has afforded a little closure on what must have been a very difficult time.