Your Weekly Horoscopes

[Random Monkey]

Fed up with just doing the Quiz, I'm now branching out into further magazine-style distractions.

Any more ideas as to what you would like to see, and I'll see what I can do. Thinking of making up some Sudoku by randomly throwing numbers into a grid. If you can solve it, then it will be a miracle!

 

[Random Monkey]

Leo:

Its your birthday this month. Time to ask for a bike as a present.

Then go out and ride it.

 

[Random Monkey]

Virgo:

Family troubles loom large this week. You will have a lot on your mind, and you will struggle to find the right answers.

Clear your head, by going out on a bike ride.

 

[Random Monkey]

Libra:

You have two choices. Stay in and watch the Olympics. Or go out on your bike for a ride. One will make you fat, unfit, unhealthy, and depressed as you see super-athletes doing things that you will never do. One will give you a chance to eat cake.

Weigh up the options, and chose the one that suits you best. And go out on a bike ride.

 

[Random Monkey]

Scorpio:

The sun is rising in Mercury, and the moon is setting in Saturn. Which means only one thing:

Time to get out on your bike and go for a ride.

 

[Random Monkey]

Saggitarius:

Something is troubling you. You don't feel yourself, and you are having difficulty concentrating. Its because your chain is dirty and your gears need adjusting. Go to the garage, sort them out, and then?

You need to go out on a ride to check everything is working OK, don't you?

 

[Random Monkey]

Capricorn:

Love is in the air. Romance, that queer feeling, mind wandering when it should be concentrating on other things. Do what all lovers do - go shopping, upgrade your wardrobe, and then?

Take that new cycle top for a ride and show it off! I love cycling too!

 

[Random Monkey]

Pisces:

You've come here for some insight into your life, and some direction as to what you should do.

You love cycling, so get out on your bike and have a ride.

 

[Random Monkey]

Aries:

Life is full of choices. Sometimes it seems like there is too much choice, and no help as to which option to take. I can help you out here:

Pick up a bike at random and go for a ride.

 

[Random Monkey]

Taurus:

Your like a bull in a china shop at the moment. Too much energy, and causing too much destruction.

Go for a ride on your bike. Take it out on the pedals, climb a few hills, capture a few KoMs, or at least, PBs.

 

[MrPie]

Taurus next please.......

 

[Random Monkey]

Gemini:

You, more than anyone, should know that there is good and bad in everyone. Just in different proportions. Just because someone evil does something you like, doesn't mean that you should stop doing it.

So just because Lance Armstrong rides a bike, doesn't mean that you shouldn't. Get out there, and be good!

 

[Random Monkey]

And finally: Cancer:

I predict a significant accident for you. I see damaged wheels, tears, repairs, and a medic.

Avoid fate by going out on your bike instead.

 

[MrPie]

Wot about Caesarian?

 

[Random Monkey]

Aquarius

Sorry - missed you out.

You are hanging on to something, unwilling to let go and move on. But it is stopping you progressing, developing, getting new experiences.

So let go of that book, and get out on your bike instead.