Your worst injury !!!


Legendary Member
Blood and guts time chillblains :sad::biggrin:

(i'm still bored BTW)

True story, i still suffer from it 25 years after :biggrin:

Walking home one morning after a night shift, stood on a fence to get over it, balanced on one foot....and my foot sipped, i dropped like a stone...WHAM...the top of the post hit my perineum like a sledgehammer.

Argghhhhhhhhhhhhh, i fell like a stone, laid on the wet grass, cutched my privates for 1/2 an hour, unable to do anything but wonder WTF i'd done to myself.
Eventually managed to get up and staggered home, to be met at the door by the wife, who went whiter than i already was. WTF, theres blood all over your trousers :biggrin:
Oh, i'll be ok, i grimaced :biggrin: (dont you say the most ridiculous things sometimes :biggrin:)

The upshot was i had ruptured all my tubing internally, and was bleeding out my todger.

Ambulance called, nursey sticks a finger up my already battered anus ( i can laugh now, but it was excruciating) 7 hours operation, 2 agony filled weeks in hospital (ahh, the magical properties of morphine), 2 months off work, several years where i lost full control of my bladder (that sides better now thankfully)..and i still get sore if i spend over 2 hours in the saddle....and i got several inches of plastic tubing inside me.

2 inches forward, i'd have probably lost me todger alltogether
2 inches back, .....dont want to think about that :sad:

You never know whats going to happen in the next few seconds....bear that in mind next time you cimb on something.

Beat that chillblains :sad:


New Member
I still suffer from split endz

Big Bren

New Member
gbb said:
nursey sticks a finger up my already battered anus

To you, a nightmare. To some public school types, the end of a bloody good night.

My entry; as a youth, I was playing silly beggars on a seesaw. I was trying to be clever by jumping up out of the seat as it reached the highest point. One jump was mis-timed and the seat met my arse sooner than I expected, jarring my whole body and clattering my teeth together. My tongue was between them however, resulting in the end being bitten completely off. Cue horrific amounts of blood and the most mind-numbing pain I've ever experienced.

I blacked out and woke up in hospital, talking like the bastard offspring of Chris Eubank and Toyah Wilcox.



Über Member
Aged about 8 I was running along a small wall about a foot high when I fell off and proceeded to surf on my face in doing so causing a tear from my upper lip to the nostril. Gets home covered in blood Mum took one look and I was carried straight up to the family Doctor who was at the top of the road.
Dr Burda was a little old Czechoslavakian guy who having cleaned the blood off applied neat iodine to the cut dont know how my mother held me down I was well and truly in the sky we were on the steps of his surgery at the time. Ended up having to suffer the most embarrissing scab ever looked like I had a massive bogey for ten days or so before it dropped off.
Will never have a moustache as it looks like a perfect parting!
NOTHING comes close to the previously mentioned accidents - I laughed like hell, but empathised with you, you poor buggers.

Spilling almost boiling water down my Wellington boot at work once, causing the skin on my left foot to almost completely melt away; a skin draught/plastic surgery was being considered, but the skin somehow grew back and there's no scarring at all.

Losing the top of my right index finger at work (it was crushed and severed just below the nail after being caught by a pallet of sand being lowered by a crane, and a protuding length of scaffold pole. Hurt like hell, but I'm used to it now, except in the cold winters when it goes a nice shade of light blue due to lack of circulation. :biggrin:


Just call me Chris...
User76 said:
I told this tale on the old C+, so I'll paraphrase.

I had a bad motorcycle crash about 15 years ago. Slid into the tank at about 80 and was in a total mess. About 4 years ago I went for a vasectomy. The Dr did all the lignocaine thing, which was sore but fine. He then put 2 fingers in to scrotum to pull the testes away a touch to cut the tube. "Ummmm," says Dr "thats strange, have you had an accident in the past?" I tell him about the bike thing. "Oh, well this may be un-comfortable" With that he pulls my testicle away from the scrotum where 11 years of scar tissue has welded the little bastard. Imagine the sound of velcro being pulled slowly apart, there, you get the picture. I let out a howl that was so loud that a chap in the snip queue got up and told his wife he would be celibate from now on! My mate who had driven me was apparantly in tears of laughter in the waiting room. I digress, after they had wiped away my tears and vomit, the Dr says "That was much more difficult than I thought it would be" So I sat up and made to get off the bed, "Oh no" said the Dr "we have to do the other side now, and I think it may be worse!!!" I pretty much passed out when the velcro thing started again, and came to in the next room being fed tea and sympathy from a practice nurse. She said it was the most complicated vasectomy she had seen at the surgery, and they have been doing 4 a week for 15 years!! Apparantly the Dr told her that if he knew what it was going to be like he would have sent me off to the hospital for a general anaesthetic:ohmy:

Christ I feel faint :biggrin:

That made for painfull reading leat alone experiencing it :biggrin:

I stubbed my toe once :biggrin:
collision with another cyclist that did'nt look before pulling out from behind a van, shattered the socket that attaches the arm to the shoulder when they did corrective surgery the surgeon told me he scraped out nearly 12 sharreds of bone.


Comrade Member
Limoges or York
Talking of injury, the story that sticks in my mind is the officer riding next to Wellington during the Battle of Waterloo.

In the closing moments of the battle a cannon ball struck the Earl of Uxbridge as he rode with the Duke of Wellington. The Duke said “By God you’ve lost your leg.” The Earl said “By God, so I have.” The remains of the leg were amputated in a house nearby and the owner buried the leg in his garden where it was a place of interest for some years.

Some of the stories on here reminded me of this for some reason.


Senior Member
Birmingham, UK
Somebody kindly fractured my skull, broke my cheekbone and two ribs about ten years ago. Wrong place, wrong time I guess.

In terms of bike stuff it just occurred to me that for all the mountain bike crashes I've been in, the most painful bike-related injuries I've had have always been in my workshop... and they usually involve spinning disc brake rotors and one of my fingers. :biggrin::biggrin:


New Member
Ive had two bad injuries that come to mind. One was when i was younger and playing on some swings in Italy. However, being Italy, safety isnt always a priority and these swings were made of metal, with a rather sharp back edge. So when i wasnt paying attention and someone on a swing came back and impaled a swing into my can imagine the mess. Fractured skull, LOTS of blood, but luckily i didnt suffer any long term damage, except a great big scar that will look cool when i get old and lose my hair.

The second injury is a football related injury where I got tackled from the side and broke my ankle. My friends told me they could actually see the ankle snap, like one of those horror injuries you sometimes see in the premiership, and when i looked down my foot was facing a very strange angle to my leg, cueing me to pass in and out of consciousness for the next few hours. Couldnt cycle for 6 months grrrr.


New Member
I rubbed my eyes whilst cutting up a chilli once. That was my worst pain ever experienced, even though it's comical and non-serious!

Maggot, OMG!


I was stood next to my wife,while she was getting the yorkshire tins out of the oven,as she turned round to me ,some of the smoking hot fat spilled onto my bare feet,to be fair she didnt know i was there,and only knew when i said,need a hand?I was running around the house pretty quickly with that.:biggrin:


Smutmaster General
(Some years ago) Exotic beach...nookie with gf ... aaaaarrrrgh!:biggrin: Pain :biggrin::ohmy:
Torn frenulum ... required surgery and stitches :biggrin::ohmy:
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