Zen and the art of commuting.

[swee'pea99]

Remember what happened to the guy in Coventry. The lunatic car driver got thirteen years, but is still alive.

If you start something, make sure you can finish it.

For instance...

Roll up beside the motorist. He will wind his window down to yell abuse. Smack his jaw and quickly remove keys from ignition. Throw the keys as far as possible.
When he opens door to climb out, THEN kick his F**king door to trap his shin ( that really hurts ).
Park bike and get into a position to shoulder barge his door repeatedly while he is half out of the vehicle.

If he is still adamant to get out, his legs might not support his weight so your job is easier.

Lay into him and when he is finally motionless, take a biro out of your kitbag, push the pointed end up his nose and give it a smart smack with your strongest clenched fist.

He will never be abusive to a cyclist again...

Yeah fine, but what if you're *really* pissed off?

 

[ianrauk]

Tie his shoelaces together

 

[adds21]

Roll up beside the motorist. He will wind his window down to yell abuse. Smack his jaw and quickly remove keys from ignition. Throw the keys as far as possible.
When he opens door to climb out, THEN kick his F**king door to trap his shin ( that really hurts ).
Park bike and get into a position to shoulder barge his door repeatedly while he is half out of the vehicle.

If he is still adamant to get out, his legs might not support his weight so your job is easier.

Lay into him and when he is finally motionless, take a biro out of your kitbag, push the pointed end up his nose and give it a smart smack with your strongest clenched fist.

He will never be abusive to a cyclist again...

<makes notes>

 

[winstonsmith]

Many thanks for your messages guys. Some very interesting points. And also some incredibly scary ones. I've decided that I it would probably be better if I assumed an air of calm nonchalance when dealing with idiot drivers. Because despite being >6ft and male, I'm rubbish at fighting.

So I've purchased a camera. Which I have used and taken some very nice pictures of the top of buildings. I think I may need to get it pointed at the road for it to be any use. I will be posting videos on YouTube if I get some interesting ones and I would appreciate if I could get some constructive criticism on my riding actually.

Cheers!

 

[Origamist]

I will be posting videos on YouTube if I get some interesting ones and I would appreciate if I could get some constructive criticism on my riding actually.

Cheers!

You don't need to solicit for cycle-cam criticism on Cycle Chat, I can assure you it will be forthcoming...

 

[Cubist]

I would appreciate if I could get some constructive criticism on my riding actually.

Cheers!

Where shall we start?

Cecil B De Mille and his cronies have moved on from criticising your riding, and are now concentrating on niceties like colour balance and editing skills!

 

[magnatom]

I generally back away from conflict.....


Seriously, though I do engage. Sometimes it is the right thing to do, sometimes it isn't. I shouldn't have indicated for my most recent guy to pull over, but my problem is I hate people who bully, or try to bully.

As BM has said, sometimes I do get a good response. If I do (and it has happened a few times recently) I don't post the footage.

However, I am trying not to gesticulate to drivers. If however, I happen to catch up with them, I will try and politely ask, why they did what they did. Notice on my recent videos, the swearing has dropped to near zero.

 

[Arch]

My boss was talking last night about how he deals with the pesky kids we get hanging about the trikes on some rounds. He said he ignores the most troublesome one - there's always a ringleader - and tells off the most innocent one. The ringleader, who just wants attention, gets bored and wanders off and the innocent one wants to get away from being told off.

Dunno if it's really relevant, I just wondered if it would work if you told off the passenger (if there was one) and ignored the driver....

Generally, I think I'm becoming more Zen on the roads. I mutter and curse under my breath, and have wonderful imaginary conversations full of witty putdowns, by the end of which, I'm at work, or home! I know I called someone a tosser, even if they don't.

 

[Notsoblue]

I've had a few run ins while cycling about London, but nothing too serious. The worst was a taxi driver changing lanes into me almost knocking me off near the Lancaster Gate Hotel roundabout. The only thing stopping him from pushing me off was my banging against his window. He took exception to this and chased me down the road, eventually pulling in front of me and stopping his people carrier across my path. I was pretty pissed off at this point and had already put my bike down on the road expecting him to get out, but he just stayed in his car shouting obscenities and demanding to know why I banged his window. He wouldn't accept that he practically drove me off my bike and eventually sped off because he was holding up all the traffic during rush hour.

That kind of incident is pretty rare though there are plenty of impatient drivers that will cut you up only to have to stop moments later in the traffic. If its particularly reckless and it happens near traffic lights, I just make the point of taking primary right in front of them.

The way I see it, you *need* to ride assertively and take primary if necessary to avoid incident in London traffic or they'll just bully you into the gutter and its just not safe there. The way I see it, motorised vehicles are slower in the traffic than bikes are anyway so it makes things equal.