Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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Bought a new computer, wierdly when you turn it on it says "hello".
Then I realised its.............A Dell.........
I went sailing and dropped my laptop over the side.
It was a Dell, rolling in the deep.
Andy_R
Hard of hearing..I said Herd of Herring..oh FFS..
- Location
- County Durham
Got my wife a new fridge for her Christmas present. Can't wait to see her face light up when she opens it
Smokin Joe
Legendary Member
- Location
- Bare headed cyclist, Smoker
Are you insured for sex?
Make sure you have the correct insurance for the sex you are having by being guided by this list of companies catering for most requirements:
Sex with your wife - Legal and General
Sex on the telephone or mobile - Direct Line
Sex with your partner - Standard Life
Sex with someone different - Go Compare
Sex with a lady of generous proportions - More Than
Sex on the back seat of a car - Sheila's Wheels
Sex with a posh bird - Privilege
Sex with a prostitute - Commercial Union
Sex with your maid - Employer's Liability
Sex with an OAP - Saga
Sex resulting in a pregnancy - General Accident
Sex with a transvestite - confused.com
Sex with an animal - Pet Plan
Make sure you have the correct insurance for the sex you are having by being guided by this list of companies catering for most requirements:
Sex with your wife - Legal and General
Sex on the telephone or mobile - Direct Line
Sex with your partner - Standard Life
Sex with someone different - Go Compare
Sex with a lady of generous proportions - More Than
Sex on the back seat of a car - Sheila's Wheels
Sex with a posh bird - Privilege
Sex with a prostitute - Commercial Union
Sex with your maid - Employer's Liability
Sex with an OAP - Saga
Sex resulting in a pregnancy - General Accident
Sex with a transvestite - confused.com
Sex with an animal - Pet Plan
- Location
- Next door to Mr Benn at No 54
Virgin don't do insurance then?
EnPassant
Remember Remember some date in November Member
- Location
- Gloucester
There was a lady in her 90s who became a sort of local celebrity because she had recently gotten married. The local news station decided to interview her. The interviewer asked questions like how it was to be a newlywed in her 90s.
"This isn't my first husband, so it's not much different than the others," she replied with a smile.
"Oh? How many husbands have you had?" the interviewer inquired. "This one will be my fourth," she replied.
...
"I was married in my 20s to a banker, then in my 40s to a circus performer. After that, I married a preacher."
"What does your current husband do?"
"Oh, he's a funeral director."
The interviewer laughed and then asked how she came to marry these men from such different backgrounds and personalities.
"It always made sense to me," she replied. "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."
"This isn't my first husband, so it's not much different than the others," she replied with a smile.
"Oh? How many husbands have you had?" the interviewer inquired. "This one will be my fourth," she replied.
...
"I was married in my 20s to a banker, then in my 40s to a circus performer. After that, I married a preacher."
"What does your current husband do?"
"Oh, he's a funeral director."
The interviewer laughed and then asked how she came to marry these men from such different backgrounds and personalities.
"It always made sense to me," she replied. "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."
