Give me some dialogue from your day

[Lullabelle]

Yesterday 1 of my colleagues had a call on his mobile phone from someone asking him if he had had an accident,

Harry: get a proper job mate
Harry: I have a proper job, I am a manager not like you, ringing people and p*****g them off.
Harry: You're a waste of f*****g space mate, get a proper job
I cannot post the rest of what he said for obvious reasons but he did get a round of applause from us lot.

 

[theloafer]

been out to http://www.culture24.org.uk/ne000065

 

[GrasB]

theloafer, that looks like a nice day or afternoon out but I think you've missed the concept of dialogue.

 

[Lullabelle]

TVC: do you want the shower curtains
Me: yes please.

They are now in the washer with a few other bits, hope the sun stays out. (erm.. think this should be in mundane)

 

[ComedyPilot]

[Man came up to me and pointed a knife at my stomach]

MWK: "Give me your money...!"

Me: "Alright"

[I get my wallet out and pass it to him - As he takes it from me I kick his right shin hard, I grab the (RH) knife hand with both hands, I pivot to my right and end up with his arm in a figure 4 arm lock over my right arm, a quick pull/twist to my left breaks his shoulder]

MWK: "Ow...!"

Me: "OK, your turn.....give me your money....!"

Jujitsu should be on the curriculum.

 

[Arch]

[Man came up to me and pointed a knife at my stomach]

MWK: "Give me your money...!"

Me: "Alright"

[I get my wallet out and pass it to him - As he takes it from me I kick his right shin hard, I grab the (RH) knife hand with both hands, I pivot to my right and end up with his arm in a figure 4 arm lock over my right arm, a quick pull/twist to my left breaks his shoulder]

MWK: "Ow...!"

Me: "OK, your turn.....give me your money....!"

Jujitsu should be on the curriculum.

Seriously? Wow. Well done! You ok?

 

[ComedyPilot]

Seriously? Wow. Well done! You ok?

Fine Arch, just quoting dialogue from our Jujitsu session this morning......

 

[ColinJ]

I think letting MWK have the wallet and concentrating on staying alive would make more sense! (And memorising what he looked like to be able to describe him to the police.)

 

[ComedyPilot]

MWK would be easy to spot - he'd be the one with a broken shoulder and/or punctured lung (depending on technique used)

 

[Andy_R]

[Man came up to me and pointed a knife at my stomach]

MWK: "Give me your money...!"

Me: "Alright"

[I get my wallet out and pass it to him - As he takes it from me I kick his right shin hard, I grab the (RH) knife hand with both hands, I pivot to my right and end up with his arm in a figure 4 arm lock over my right arm, a quick pull/twist to my left breaks his shoulder]

MWK: "Ow...!"

Me: "OK, your turn.....give me your money....!"

Jujitsu should be on the curriculum.

but...but..but you're in Yorkshire so that situation will never arise....everyone knows it's impossible for Yorkshire men to get their wallets out....

 

[Maverick Goose]

The shock of seeing that could have killed him!

 

[i hate hills]

Nightshift this week...as always my father in law with the BOOMING voice comes to visit.....11:30 am i am woken by a father in law prompted debate. I lie in bed till 1:30 not being able to sleep. I get up and say to my OH " when did Brian Blessed go away" cue rather large frowns from her and frosty conversation every since.

 

[MisterStan]

At my Sister's wedding last weekend.
Registrar; 'Sean, you know what to do' (Bride and Groom kiss)
Abigail (my 2 year old) very loudly; 'Mummy I've done a poo poo' (she hadn't)

 

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

I've been trying to get my OH 'aware' of his weight - something that we have not done for the last 3 years since going off on the aborted world tour - he's gotten a touch tubby around the waistline and now that I'm on steroids permanently I need to be careful as well, so we have recently purchased a set of bathroom scales...

Me: "so what did the scales say?"
My OH in a tiny teeny pathetic child's voice: "they lied to me"
Me: "so what did they say?"
OH: "they lied to me..."
Me: "how exactly did they lie to you?"
OH: "they told me a fib!"

I weigh myself each Tuesday morning.. this evening my OH has used my 'record' and added his own information
Over evening meal he asked me: So what do the figures mean?
I think he is still in denial!

(first % is % fat, second is % water!)

 

[Cubist]

Picture the scene. Cubester and I are watching a film while Nanna is snoring loudly on the sofa.

Nanna gives one of those very loud snores that wakes up the snorer and says :

Nanna "Have you grown a moustache Cubester?"
Cubester "it's a full beard Nanna" (he's avoided shaving for a few weeks and is sporting a patchy bum fluff beard of which he is as proud as only a 16 year old can be......)
Nanna " Oh, that's not you on the TV is it."
Cubester "ehhh??"
Me "no Nanna, it's Will Smith. "