Give me some dialogue from your day

[KnittyNorah]

Have given and been otherwise involved in few spinning demonstrations recently - spinning as in, of wool shorn from a sheep. Often while sitting or standing next to a recently shorn sheep or three.

Children - even quite little children - soon work out what we're doing, if given a little time to stand and stare. After all, it's visually quite apparent that a thread is being formed from a bunch of fluffy fibre, by means of a twisting process ...

Some of the adults though.
Dialogue 1 :
'What are they doing, do you think?'
'That's knitting like they do abroad, they must be foreign. No-one does it any more here', said in a confident tone.

Dialogue 2:
A - 'What are they making?'
B - 'That one with the stick thing (me with a drop spindle) is looming, that one with the wheel thing (my pal with a spinning wheel) is knitting a jumper.' (WTF is 'looming' when it's at home?!)
A - 'Oh, how do you know that?'
B - 'I learnt how to do it when I was still at school.' (I suppose it's hardly surprising his clothes were a bit weird, and very tatty ...)

Fortunately there were lots more people who were genuinely interested and even if they knew nothing, asked reasonable and sensible questions instead of making things up as they went along.

 

[Andy in Germany]

Younger Son discussing his recent enthusiasm for epic music:

"It makes you feel like you can invade a minor country. I'm half British, half Japanese, and grew up in Germany. Do you see the danger here?"

 

[bruce1530]

....instead of making things up as they went along.

Some people have a talent for talking absolute nonsense with complete authority and confidence.

When we were young children, we were on holiday near Dunoon in Argyll. The American submariners were based there at the time, and just outside the town was a row of houses occupied by the US navy families. We walked past them every day, and admired the big American cars.

One day, we noticed these round metal things on stands outside every house. We asked Uncle Robert - the cool uncle whew knew everything - what they were.
"Those are satellite dishes", he said confidently. "It's so that the American families can get American TV. It also means that they can make phone calls home, and the navy can contact them at any time of the day or night if there was to be a war. They point at a satellite which sits over the Atlantic".

And we believed him.

He was talking complete rubbish, of course, but to be fair none of us had ever seen a barbecue before....

 

[KnittyNorah]

He was talking complete rubbish, of course, but to be fair none of us had ever seen a barbecue before....

And had Uncle Robert ever seen a satellite dish before!?

 

[mistyoptic]

Some people have a talent for talking absolute nonsense with complete authority and confidence.

A system I have used for years . If you say it with enough confidence, people will believe you

 

[annedonnelly]

Not my dialogue, but a friend.

She was at a petrol station, car drew up at pump beside her, driven by a nun.

Nun could not work the pump, or the payment thing. Friend offered to show her how.

“Is it petrol or diesel?”

“Oh, whatever’s cheapest…”

My aunt, now in her 80s, was telling me the other day. She only once tried to put petrol in her car herself. When she went into the shop to pay the cashier was killing herself laughing. She'd only put 83p worth of fuel in. It would be a lot cheaper then but i don't suppose it was as much as half a gallon she'd put in.

After that she left it for someone else to do.

 

[Chris S]

At the weekend I was at a market where there was a stall selling traditional Fijian food. I heard somebody say, "I wonder if they sell long pig?"

 

[Threevok]

A system I have used for years . If you say it with enough confidence, people will believe you

Agreed. I once convinced my Mam that if her dinner was too hot, she could put it in the microwave on defrost.

A number of days passed, before I received the inevitable clip around the ear.

 

[Profpointy]

Agreed. I once convinced my Mam that if her dinner was too hot, she could put it in the microwave on defrost.

A number of days passed, before I received the inevitable clip around the ear.

That reminds me of the old gag of someone coming across a thermos flask for the first time. "It's amazing. It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold". "What do you have in it at the moment?". "Some coffee and an ice cream"

 

[Chris S]

I saw a sign saying TOO BUSY FOR BULLSH1T (edited to get around the swear filter) in a church shop window!

 

[ColinJ]

Pal: Please ring my phone.

Me: Why - do you think that it isn't working?

Pal: No - I can't find it.

Me: Er, it is in your hand!

Pal: D'oh!

Me: I thought that I was getting scatterbrained, but you have taken it to a whole new level!

 

[Andy in Germany]

Customer/client comes into the workshop.

C: Hi. I'm looking for a good quality, solid bike...
AinG: Okay, where will you want to ride...
C: You know, really reliable. I want to ride to work and back on it.
AinG: Yes...
C: And I'm willing to pay 30 to 50€...

 

[Gillstay]

Customer/client comes into the workshop.

C: Hi. I'm looking for a good quality, solid bike...
AinG: Okay, where will you want to ride...
C: You know, really reliable. I want to ride to work and back on it.
AinG: Yes...
C: And I'm willing to pay 30 to 50€...

So generous.

 

[Andy in Germany]

So generous.

When I told him prices start with 95€ he said "Gosh, you're expensive..."

 

[All uphill]

Overheard, a young woman telling a friend about a visit to Paris in election time.

"I loved the pictures of the politicians hanging from the lampposts"

Now I'm not a fan of most politicians but that is a bit harsh.