You are Les Dawson AICMFP.
Got engaged.... let's have your "good advice"
- Thread starter Starchivore
- Start date
Page may contain affiliate links. Please see terms for details.
- Location
- Glasgow
Wow what a compliment to your wife, hope you told her this
mybike
Grumblin at Garmin on the Granny Gear
- Location
- Not 'emel 'empstead
OK, here's one. Love isn't the reason you get married, it's what you have to work after you're married.
Swinging but leave it a bit before suggesting this for obvious reasons. But being serious for one moment I am just coming up to my 23rd anniversary and I am still happily married. Actually not certain how we did it except to say she is probably my best friend, supports me completely and I love being with her.
Mrs M
Guru
- Location
- Aberdeenshire
We're almost at 23 years too
I adore Mr M and know he feels same way about me
Count myself very fortunate to have met my true love
Black Sheep
Guru
- Location
- Rammy
you're asking on a cycling forum, so, get bikes and cycle together, don't storm off ahead and occasionally let her think she's leaving you behind!
on a serious note, a minister's wife at the church I went to before leaving home had two favourite sayings that have stuck with me:
"the grass is greenest where you water it" she'd go on to explain, if you're looking at and longing for something else then you're essentially 'watering' that want and neglecting what you have.
"life is a bed of roses, sweet smelling, beautiful but occasionally you have to deal with the thorns" you so often see the flower and perfume of friends and families lives on social media, but not the issues they face in between, face the issues you encounter together and head on, deal with them, learn from them and move on together.
I married in 2009 and initially it was great, but then the stress of her shift work (nurse) and me struggling to find a job related to my degree and having a string of agency and part time work had us both (but not at the same time as each other) wondering if we'd made a mistake, for me, not helped by the fact a girl I liked but didn't think she liked me expressed interest 2 days after I'd got together with my wife, she wasn't aware I'd stared dating my wife and I politely turned her down, but a few years on I wondered if I'd been wrong.
I had to choose to push that thought out of my mind and choose through each moment to be in the relationship I'd chosen.
seems to have worked, we're still married!
hope that's of help
on a serious note, a minister's wife at the church I went to before leaving home had two favourite sayings that have stuck with me:
"the grass is greenest where you water it" she'd go on to explain, if you're looking at and longing for something else then you're essentially 'watering' that want and neglecting what you have.
"life is a bed of roses, sweet smelling, beautiful but occasionally you have to deal with the thorns" you so often see the flower and perfume of friends and families lives on social media, but not the issues they face in between, face the issues you encounter together and head on, deal with them, learn from them and move on together.
I married in 2009 and initially it was great, but then the stress of her shift work (nurse) and me struggling to find a job related to my degree and having a string of agency and part time work had us both (but not at the same time as each other) wondering if we'd made a mistake, for me, not helped by the fact a girl I liked but didn't think she liked me expressed interest 2 days after I'd got together with my wife, she wasn't aware I'd stared dating my wife and I politely turned her down, but a few years on I wondered if I'd been wrong.
I had to choose to push that thought out of my mind and choose through each moment to be in the relationship I'd chosen.
seems to have worked, we're still married!
hope that's of help
OP
OP
Starchivore
I don't know much about Cinco de Mayo
- Location
- Halifax, West Yorkshire
So much great advice from everyone, thanks a lot. It's really interesting to hear people's thoughts and experiences too.
We were friends originally so we have quite a strong foundation of that. We have fun and are very silly together and I think that really helps, as you say. There are arguments too but that's okay- I used to be upset by arguments (maybe my family was a bit repressed....) but now I accept them a bit more.
I've never heard that phrase, it's great! I'll remember that.
We were friends originally so we have quite a strong foundation of that. We have fun and are very silly together and I think that really helps, as you say. There are arguments too but that's okay- I used to be upset by arguments (maybe my family was a bit repressed....) but now I accept them a bit more.Thanks! I like this because I myself don't think men and women are different inherently.
Your post was especially interesting to me as we met quite young too, I was a bit older than you were when you met Ms Skol but not much, and I'm 23 now. Nice to hear that the years haven't distanced you, I hope for the same.
Definitely! People put a lot of effort into toeing the line or going to lengths to show how nonconformist they are. I think I am quite eccentric in some ways but quite traditional in others, and my self-involvment and ego has calmed down a bit now that I'm properly into my 20s so I'm looking to maintain that attitude of just living how it feels right- and I like the way you phrased that.
Yeah I've seen a bit of that close up.... luckily I get teased for being overly-frugal, like when I was caught washing tin foil (I think that's reasonable?) I'm definitely going to keep on top of the finances as much as I can.
I've never heard that phrase, it's great! I'll remember that.
It must've been so tempting to make a hosepipe joke?
OP
OP
Starchivore
I don't know much about Cinco de Mayo
- Location
- Halifax, West Yorkshire
I know I can be a bit of a tightarse, but washing tin foil?
That's class, I'll have to remember that one.
Not always possible, particularly if you've torn it.... but otherwise well worth a few moments effort!
MarquisMatsugae
Guest
As long as she loves The Smiths,nothing can go wrong.
OP
OP
Starchivore
I don't know much about Cinco de Mayo
- Location
- Halifax, West Yorkshire
It took me a while to come over to the idea initially. A few years ago I thought I didn't want to ever get married.
Jimidh
Veteran
- Location
- Midlothian
Congratulations
I'm not going to give any relationship advice however my one big memory of planning for our wedding was my wife's insistence that I went to a wedding fair - my worst nightmare.
However I reluctantly went and we booked almost everything in the one afternoon and which saved lots of time and boring afternoons being dragged round cakes shops, photographers etc.
That was 15 years ago and still happily married.
I'm not going to give any relationship advice however my one big memory of planning for our wedding was my wife's insistence that I went to a wedding fair - my worst nightmare.
However I reluctantly went and we booked almost everything in the one afternoon and which saved lots of time and boring afternoons being dragged round cakes shops, photographers etc.
That was 15 years ago and still happily married.
