i am being banned from saying this at the wedding of my niece

[steveindenmark]

If you feel that strongly tell her before the wedding or are you intent on ruining her wedding day?

She is 25 not 17 and its her life. Your rant would do nothing at the wedding but she would rightly disown you.

Talk to her before hand. If she wont listen to you just dont go.

 

[berty bassett]

how about saying your bit to her - dumbed down abit then ask her to get a bit of paper and honestly write the fors and againsts

 

[snorri]

I cannae see what could possibly go wrong if you went along and told everyone what you thought. Good move.

Yeah go for it, you wouldn't be the first to get into a scrap at a wedding.

 

[vernon]

Yeah go for it, you wouldn't be the first to get into a scrap at a wedding.

Like this battle?

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Corr - there are some life experiences related in this thread. No wonder Jeremy Kyle has a job for life.

As for the OP - say nowt unless you are very close to your niece. But do it in good time in the correct way - not at the wedding.

 

[snorri]

Like this battle?

Oh no, not again....I'm disappointed in you Vernon.

 

[Fnaar]

Write a song-and-tap-dance routine to express your views, and perform it at the reception.

"It ain't no myth
He's on his fifth
He's her first
It could be worse

tappety-tappety-tap-tap-tap

...etc"

 

[swee'pea99]

Write a song-and-tap-dance routine to express your views, and perform it at the reception.

"It ain't no myth
He's on his fifth
He's her first
It could be worse

tappety-tappety-tap-tap-tap

...etc"

[Chorus: children together, close harmony]

Mummy new
Mummy dear
We're so thrilled to have you here

...etc

 

[Fnaar]

[Chorus: children together, close harmony]

Mummy new
Mummy dear
We're so thrilled to have you here

...etc

(all performers bar new mum): But you'll be gone within a year!

(cane and straw hat tap routine: tap-tap-tappety-tap)

 

[jonny jeez]

As always with this sort of thing you need to ask yourself the question "What am I hoping to achieve by saying something?"

If the answer is "to make her change her mind" you need to think how unlikely this is. You only see her a few times a year, you can't be particularly close

If the answer is "because I think I have to say something" you are being selfish and it's just to make you feel better, not to achieve anything other than upset people

Well said.

 

[jefmcg]

@surfdude I haven't read all the responses, but I want to paraphrase some advice my mother gave me**
"Tell her. She won't listen. But if something goes wrong, you won't feel guilty because you didn't say anything."

(**in my case I thought my older brother, who had just bought his first car, should not go on a long drive until he had more practice behind the wheel. I knew he wouldn't listen to me - older brother and all - but I took my mum''s advice. He ignored my advice, had a momentary lapse of concentration while driving and the result was a dented car and a lesson learnt. My mother's advice made me so smug I didn't even say "I told you so")

 

[PaulSB]

I haven't read the whole thread but have one comment. Sometime after my BIL was divorced he, me, my wife (his sister) and his new partner had a "few" drinks together.

I forget how but his ex came up in conversation and everything my wife and I had watched for years came out. My BIL was stunned, said he had no knowledge of the things we told him.

For example the afternoon of my BIL's mother's funeral I found his now ex wife in his mother's bedroom swapping the labels his mother and attached to pieces if jewellery identifying who they should go to!!!

His one question was why did no one tell me?

Fortunately he understood why we said nothing

 

[Arrowfoot]

The easiest thing to do is nothing and just watch things unfold. As she is your niece there is sense of responsibility to help. It best to reach out to her parents and ask if they need help. Sometimes parents are shy to ask for help. Even if the guy is 25 but has a history known to everyone if the immediate family and relatives cannot help, I wonder who will bother to help.

 

[Tin Pot]

@surfdude

Bump...so, what happened? (Can't help being nosey!)

 

[SWSteve]

I opened this thinking you were going to make the 'Honeymoon in North Wales' joke, never mind