Things you have misheard or misread

[Mad Doug Biker]

The one I recall from school was in my first year, so aged five. I went home and indignantly told my mother that there was someone who was aged seven in the class. Turns out the child's name was Mary Lewis-Evans, which I had heard as "Mary, who is seven".

That reminds me slightly of a very old story where a woman from the islands of Scotland had come to Glasgow for the very first time. It was (understandably) a big and daunting thing for her.
She had to buy a railway ticket for onward travel and so, she stood in line, trying to listen to others so she'd know what to say when it was her turn. She got to the ticket window and proudly announced

'Mhari McDonald, married with two children'

It turns out the woman in front had said

'Maryhill, single'

😆

 

[glasgowcyclist]

This has always been a favourite of mine (although sound quality is poor). The ‘No Asians’ house seller in Adelaide.

View: https://youtu.be/0YM9Ereg2Zo

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

This has always been a favourite of mine (although sound quality is poor). The ‘No Asians’ house seller in Adelaide.

View: https://youtu.be/0YM9Ereg2Zo

If that was me, I'd be mortified! 😆

 

[Chris S]

Golden Brown and the

'Manshirons'

Still no idea what they are saying. 🤔

I thought a manshiron was some sort of musical instrument so I Googled the lyrics.
They're actually, "Lays me down, with my mind she runs"

 

[Gwylan]

My wife!
So she tells me.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

The Jam - Eat Your Rifles

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

I thought a manshiron was some sort of musical instrument so I Googled the lyrics.
They're actually, "Lays me down, with my mind she runs"

I know I should have looked it up, so, thanks.

 

[Accy cyclist]

Both from my childhood days, so it's excusable.🧐 On hearing 'make ends meet', I misheard it as make hens meat. My thoughts at the time were "Make hens meat? Why make it? Just buy it! Then when I heard the words to Green Green Grass Of Home and the lyrics 'Hair of gold and lips like cherries' I misheard it as 'Pair of golden lips like cherries' and wondered why, as lips are red, not gold!

 

[cyberknight]

The Jam - Eat Your Rifles

surely eating trifles

 

[OldShep]

As a child I’d often be at my Grandmas on a Saturday. It was just before betting shops were allowed and I’d be sent to a back door with a piece of paper and money. It was also before racecourses had jockey and stable lads accommodation and she used to put a few up when Stockton races were on. Lester stayed with her a couple of times.
We would watch the racing on TV and I was in awe for a very long time. The entire racing world was centred around my grandma. How did the commentator know which side of the TV the fire was?
Nagnumber5 is coming up on the far side

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

As a child I’d often be at my Grandmas on a Saturday. It was just before betting shops were allowed and I’d be sent to a back door with a piece of paper and money. It was also before racecourses had jockey and stable lads accommodation and she used to put a few up when Stockton races were on. Lester stayed with her a couple of times.
We would watch the racing on TV and I was in awe for a very long time. The entire racing world was centred around my grandma. How did the commentator know which side of the TV the fire was?
Nagnumber5 is coming up on the far side

It's small people (and horses) who live in your telly... Isn't it? 🤔😆

 

[tyred]

Kenny Rogers "you picked a fine time to leave me Lucille, with four hundred children and a crop in the field.."

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

For some strange reason, I am getting the BBC London local news here. Anyway, they were talking of a certain famous animal rescue centre and I heard it as

'The Battersea Dog And Hats Home'.

 

[Threevok]

As a kid, I though Dolly and Kenny's Islands In the Stream was actually Eyelids Industry

 

[EltonFrog]

When I was a kid I thought the lyric in Crocodile Rock ‘Old Blue Jeans’ was Aubergine.

In my defence I was listening to it mostly on a Prinzsound cassette player, the sound quality of which was not great.