A bad experience in Tesco. Or my fault?

[JPBoothy]

Went and did a shop in Tesco today. Me and the missus thought we should do a weekly shop as there are impending lock downs sprouting around and it may be a good idea to stock up for more than few days. Anyway, walking around it was immediately apparent nobody was following the rules, the shelf replenishers were mingling, chatting and not keeping anything like distance from shoppers or each other. There was 3 in one aisle having a chat, huddled together almost. Im not one to complain, this just an observation for what was to come. As i got to the till, they have a black line which must be stood behind while there is a customer being served. The customer had paid, left and the cashier of advancing years, didn't use the conveyor to pull the shopping up to the till and was trivially chatting to the other cashier, so i thought it would be perfectly fine to stack up ahead. Instead of asking me to get back behind the black line, she shouts across to her colleague on the other til "i don't know why we have these lines, nobody follows them, like this Gentleman here" which she store at me and i was left pretty flabbergasted and embarrassed. I simply responded i thought it would be safe as the customer had left and my shopping couldn't fit on what little bit of the conveyor i had available. She then angrily responded with "the rules are there to protect me!" Ok i responded. I did say im not there to cause trouble, i explained why i did what i did and apologised. But she continued ranting and quite forcefully pushing my goods at me in the bagging area... I was belittled and embarrassed by this, was it necessary to handle this this way? I still don't think i did anything wrong. I didn't invade anyone's space i wouldn't have already. The only thing she could have possibly been angry about is not having her permission to approach. I did consider just walking quite frankly, maybe i should have. Maybe im just entirely wrong?

Im not one to complain to the store and i won't, i vow instead never to shop there again as i have been particularly careful for the entire of the covid lockdown/restrictions. Either way, its pretty damn grim out there at the minute...

You were not wrong at all so carry on being polite and ignore those who are not.

Sadly some people are just born rude and will remain that way throughout their lifetime.. I used to work behind a bar in my youth and that was an eye opener to say the least. The best way that I find to deal with rude people is to try not to bite (not always easy I will admit) and then be 'totally over the top' with your sickly nice response. They are often too stupid to realise that your taking the #### but others around usually pick up on it and will have a snigger at their expense

 

[JPBoothy]

An argument for compulsory national service if ever there was!

Maybe it is where they slot their scanner (or box cutter ) while they are stacking the shelves.. I have to admit to being a bit put off recently by the white overalls of the bakery staff at my local Sainsbury's looking as if they had been washed with the dark colours or worn whilst fixing the car. I'm not a snob by any means but I like smart standards (like it used to be) so a dress code and manners are a minimum requirement if facing off to the public (IMO). Don't get me started on taxi drivers wearing football shirts and shorts

 

[Pale Rider]

Don't get me started on taxi drivers wearing football shirts and shorts

A gentleman only wears shorts for playing tennis.

 

[gavgav]

I think i'll give Aldi a go next time. They have a light system by the looks of it. As long as i don't get an earful from the staff for reasons im still unsure about, it will be plus by me...

I’ve been using Aldi since Covid started and they’ve been very good. I’ve seen a deterioration in public adherence in there, recently, but that’s across the board....

 

[HMS_Dave]

Vowing never to shop there again is cutting your nose off to spite your face. I would have got her name and reported the incident to the manager before leaving.

Maybe. But in this current climate, how much difference would a complaint have made? It could result in an argument i was not prepared to stand there and make, causing more unwanted attention. I have no loyalty to shopping at Tesco really and i don't think im losing out by shopping at another supermarket. Maybe a deal or an 'offer' here and there but i don't think im causing myself too much harm shopping elsewhere. If someone else has a bad experience at the store or with that particular cashier, they may have a different perspective perhaps and therefore take different actions...

 

[swee'pea99]

Went and did a shop in Tesco today. Me and the missus thought we should do a weekly shop as there are impending lock downs sprouting around and it may be a good idea to stock up for more than few days. Anyway, walking around it was immediately apparent nobody was following the rules, the shelf replenishers were mingling, chatting and not keeping anything like distance from shoppers or each other. There was 3 in one aisle having a chat, huddled together almost. Im not one to complain, this just an observation for what was to come. As i got to the till, they have a black line which must be stood behind while there is a customer being served. The customer had paid, left and the cashier of advancing years, didn't use the conveyor to pull the shopping up to the till and was trivially chatting to the other cashier, so i thought it would be perfectly fine to stack up ahead. Instead of asking me to get back behind the black line, she shouts across to her colleague on the other til "i don't know why we have these lines, nobody follows them, like this Gentleman here" which she store at me and i was left pretty flabbergasted and embarrassed. I simply responded i thought it would be safe as the customer had left and my shopping couldn't fit on what little bit of the conveyor i had available. She then angrily responded with "the rules are there to protect me!" Ok i responded. I did say im not there to cause trouble, i explained why i did what i did and apologised. But she continued ranting and quite forcefully pushing my goods at me in the bagging area... I was belittled and embarrassed by this, was it necessary to handle this this way? I still don't think i did anything wrong. I didn't invade anyone's space i wouldn't have already. The only thing she could have possibly been angry about is not having her permission to approach. I did consider just walking quite frankly, maybe i should have. Maybe im just entirely wrong?

Im not one to complain to the store and i won't, i vow instead never to shop there again as i have been particularly careful for the entire of the covid lockdown/restrictions. Either way, its pretty damn grim out there at the minute...

She was rude and she was wrong. And if I'd been on the receiving end she'd have got it back with interest. I'm a seriously live & let live, conflict-averse type of chap. It's why I generally keep out of the politics sub forum. But I mean, a chap's got to draw the line somewhere.

Seriously though, I've no time for this kind of shite. Do as you would be done by. I wouldn't treat you like that, don't treat me like that. And if you do, watch out. I have form, in Waitrose.

As for, 'having a bad day', sorry, but I don't give a crap. I have hard days too, but I don't take them out on other people, let alone ones who are handing over the money that pays my wages. One of the deals you took on when you took this job was, you don't get to vent, period. And that includes when you're having a bad day. If you can't keep a better grip on yourself, you have no business being in a customer-facing role. Go and find something else to do - something where it doesn't matter if you act like a daffodil.

I'd ask to speak to a manager. I have. And if I don't get satisfaction from them, I make it very clear that I know how to approach their managers. I've no time for it.

 

[fossyant]

My local Morrisons or Aldi. Tesco, not a chance these days. Tesco in Prestatyn is OK. Not Stockport.

 

[Drago]

Maybe it is where they slot their scanner (or box cutter ) while they are stacking the shelves.. I have to admit to being a bit put off recently by the white overalls of the bakery staff at my local Sainsbury's looking as if they had been washed with the dark colours or worn whilst fixing the car. I'm not a snob by any means but I like smart standards (like it used to be) so a dress code and manners are a minimum requirement if facing off to the public (IMO). Don't get me started on taxi drivers wearing football shirts and shorts

I hear you. I also dislike politicians that do tv interviews while not wearing a tie. If you can't be arsed to look like you're ready to do business, then who is going to think that you sound like you mean business? Looking smart with respect to your particular trade shows you are conscientious, and that is never, ever a bad thing.

I'd ask to speak to a manager. I have. And if I don't get satisfaction from them...

Blimey, you make it sound like your'e offering them a duel!

Be very careful mouthing off about how you know this, or you know that, or you'll take it higher, etc. Some people won't take being pushed around and if you meet one of them it won't end well - the more people used to try that with me the more i made damn sure they didn't get what they wanted. Some folk simply aren't worried, bothered or scared by threats, be they implied or overt, and if that doesn't work then you have nothing left to escalate to. Being firm, but reasonable and polite, is far, far more likely to get you a positive result.

 

[swee'pea99]

Some folk simply aren't worried, bothered or scared by threats, be they implied or overt, and if that doesn't work then you have nothing left to escalate to.

Yeah, you see, but that's where you're wrong. You can escalate. And if you make it clear you have every intention of doing so, and know how, it's amazing how quickly people who have been out of order begin to back-pedal.

As for 'mouthing off', I'm not sure making it clear that you won't be bullied deserves that tag. Nor do I call it 'pushing around' to insist on being treated with courtesy.

As for being 'reasonable and polite', I am. Always. And I expect others to be so too - especially when they're taking my hard-earned.

 

[Drago]

You can escalate, maybe. But if they don't give a sheet, if they don't acquiesce there and then, you've already lost.

Anyone got spoke to me like that these days Id poke them in the windpipe for their trouble, regardless of how in the right they may be. Ask me nicely i'll bend over backwards - press my buttons and youll get a reaction you won't like - there are people out there who simply don't give a moneys who you speak or write to, so why bother trying it?

Hinting that you'll go tell someones mummy if you don't get your own wat is infantile, unnecessary and unlikely to succeed if they're not the sort of character that is liable to acquiece. Fine, go tell my mummy - im still not going to give you what you want.

That tactic isn't one intended to get results, as much as people dress it up as such. No, it's a tactic intended to make them feel like they've won - this need to dominate others is a primitive, deep seated sexual urge, and well adjusted people don't succumb to it. In my experience its also something that small people tend to do - big people don't have the drive to keep proving themselves to others in that manner.

 

[swee'pea99]

You can escalate, maybe. But if they don't give a sheet, if they don't acquiesce there and then, you've already lost.

No. If they don't give a shoot, their manager probably will, and if they don't, there's always theirs. Very few retail organisations tolerate employees chatting to their mates when they should be doing their job, then being rude to customers. If I pull them up on it and they don't give a shoot, I've lost nothing. They, on the other hand, may well be on the way to losing their jobs.

Anyone got spoke to me like that these days Id poke them in the windpipe for their trouble

Like what?

I'd be careful with that windpipe-poking too - you can get in proper trouble for that kind of thing.

Bottom line is, anyone who accepts the kind of treatment described by the OP tacitly encourages its continuation. D'you not think someone who ignores the next customer in favour of chatting with a mate, then is rude to them should be pulled up on it? Have to say I'm surprised.

 

[swee'pea99]

Or maybe it's just me with my primitive, deep seated sexual urge. Ooh dear...

 

[roley poley]

I always go to a staffed till rather than scan it yourself as you keep a person in a job against over automation please be as nice and polite to me as I will be with you and the world will turn easyer for us both

 

[Ming the Merciless]

A gentleman only wears shorts for playing tennis.

One takes them off at all other times

 

[marinyork]

I still don't think i did anything wrong. I didn't invade anyone's space i wouldn't have already. The only thing she could have possibly been angry about is not having her permission to approach. I did consider just walking quite frankly, maybe i should have. Maybe im just entirely wrong?

An alternative angle:

The reason why you feel why like you do is this person is aggressive. It's just they are passive-aggressive and have strung several passive-aggressive behaviours together in close succession to confuse you. One of the giveaway signs is these people tend to go for what they perceive to be soft targets because their subconscious brain knows they don't want to do it to someone who's going to smack them. Quite often bits of what they did could be taken as oh they are having a bad day/ego depletion which is fair enough. However, those sorts of people tend to row back in this sort of retail environment quite quickly. It's more likely that they are just a complete tosser as per drago has said or they have mental health issues and this is how it manifests behaviours (many people with MH are not like this at all it's just a subset) repeat themselves throughout their life on a fairly regular, but not too frequent basis to friends, household, work, everyone and in some cases may not even be aware they are doing it (ah yes you say so make them aware - not quite that simple). You aren't going to sort that out. It's not so much the do it for other customers, it's do it for other people in their life of that person that have to put up with it all the time. Retail. Offices. There are quite a few knocking around once you're in a big work environment. They are a pain in the arse for managers to deal with so path of least resistance just leaves them. Or in Drago parlance, they don't give a sheet, and neither does their manager.

Ironically enough many other people have described passive-aggressive behaviours they would do back to the person or escalating, which will make it worse if this is the cause.

The theory goes to minimise time, not engage, do not apologise but to say something reassuring that deals with the insecurities without using yous e.g. we'll all be safe here and I'm keeping my distance.