A joke

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Aint Skeered

New Member
A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed.

They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.

On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry all of his purchases home.

While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane ?"

The farmer said, "Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house. I would happily walk you there but I can't figure out how to carry all this stuff I bought."

The old lady suggested, "Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand; put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?"

"By heavens, you've got it!" he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.

On the way he says, "Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time."

The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, "I'm a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in that alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?"

The farmer said, "Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that as well?"

The old lady replied, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens."
 

Arch

Married to Night Train
Location
Salford, UK
:ohmy:
 

postman

Legendary Member
Location
,Leeds
Farmer and his wife of sixty years leave a party early.On passing a secluded area of the farm.He says 'Can you remember we used to make love here up against this fence'.'Shall we for old times sake do it just this once?' After the event.The farmer say's ' you were fair thrusting then old lass'.'Better than all those years ago.'All those years ago bloody fence wasn't electrified'.
 

yenrod

Guest
Women, just goes to show ya cant trust 'em...

Aint Skeered said:
A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed.

They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.

On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry all of his purchases home.

While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane ?"

The farmer said, "Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house. I would happily walk you there but I can't figure out how to carry all this stuff I bought."

The old lady suggested, "Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand; put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?"

"By heavens, you've got it!" he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.

On the way he says, "Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time."

The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, "I'm a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in that alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?"

The farmer said, "Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that as well?"

The old lady replied, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens."
 

Maz

Guru
I like it, cheers!

Sort of reminds me of the one about the old lady who complained that from her bathroom window she could see a couple having sex in the house opposite. Copper came round to investigate and said 'no you can't see anything through the glass, it's impossible".
Old lady said "You can if you use a step-ladder!"
 

sanoffyhighstepson

New Member
Location
Glasgow
A Chicken and an Egg lying in bed together.
The Egg rolls over to the side of the bed,sweating and panting for breath, takes a cigarette out of a packet on the bedside table, lights it, takes a puff and turns to the chicken and says........
"Well I guess that answers that question then!"
 
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