A simple SORRY would suffice

[fossyant]

Reading Typo's thread...an incident wound me up this evening.

Had a pleasant commute home - just getting to our housing estate, so 100 yards before the junction signal to turn right.

Notice a silver BMW 3 Series Compact (the short boot one) pull up to the line wanting to turn right (no indicators - not an option on this poverty spec BM) - two youngish guys, neither really looking.

I'm now turning, passing the front of his car, and he starts to pull out....FFS...... it's going to be close. 'F'ing hell' I shout.....just misses me, he panics and slams on and stalls....

I'm about to let rip when I notice a dad and child....... "Look where you are going you stupid git" I shout, staring at the driver..... he looks back and shouts "F. Off you d**k head" - Charming.......

Now I just carried on riding as if he had turned round, I'd have got off, rather than leading him to my house...he didn't.

Why can't people say sorry these days ? Eh.... sheesh....

Well there aren't many Silver BM compacts on our estate...shouldn't be hard to spot............

 

[Twanger]

Why can't people say sorry these days ? Eh.... sheesh....

More difficult to say sorry when someone has just called you a stupid git.

 

[yenrod]

Fossy - with respects and ive been there but the ***** aren't worth sh@t...i even said no once when a car driver asked me to give him a push.... cause id been ****ed around with all of my ride !

 

[fossyant]

I didn't expect one - I know I say 'sorry' when I fluff up driving.

 

[Garz]

I know exactly how you feel, sometimes a few seconds after the incident my mind plays an imaginary scene in my head of me getting a massive rock and launching it through the vehicle's window when I next see it.

Hard to bite your lip all the time soon I wont have one!

 

[thomas]

I got a 'sorry' and hands up after yelling something like "you stupid cow" at the top of my voice as I had to swerve around her car on a roundabout a couple years ago.

 

[yenrod]

I didn't expect one - I know I say 'sorry' when I fluff up driving.

Yeah but Foss - your perfect (cycle) and value life these 'people' dont they'll only, when they nearly meet their maker !

 

[hackbike 666]

People don't say sorry nowadays you should know that.I got cut up by a builders van thingy at Whitechapel on the ride in.It's the sort of van without a roof so I blow the horn and he looks in his mirror and im doing my nut.He's got a young boy in the van and I thought I bet his driving is going to rub off on the young one when he grows up.

He then proceeds to drive towards Aldgate like he's in the A-Team.Prick

Worrying thing is kids see this sort of behaviour and think it's acceptable.

Saw a woman yesterday driving a land cruiser thing with two kids in in,bold as brass get her mobile out and make a call.Totally ignorant bitch.

 

[gavintc]

It could be a work thing. Over the last few years, I have noted that 'sorry' is not to be used. The 'mea culpa' just seems to bring a law suit against you. It is easier to brazen it out, than do the gentlemanly thing.

 

[Nigeyy]

Not really cycling related....... A couple of years ago I had the pleasure of being in my car and:

i. hit by a large lorry at traffic lights (I was waiting at red)
ii. reversed into at a birthday party waiting for my daughter (I was parked at the time, about 3 metres behind her, and to this day I swear the woman looked at me, got in her car and reversed straight back into me)
iii. stopped in traffic on a motorway and a young kid went into the back of me.

All the above happened during a 3 week period -in all of the cases I was stationary for quite some time before being hit. By the third time on the motorway, I was really feeling quite irate, I mean, WTF?

I got out to see some pimply face young kid who looked like he was with his girlfriend. I figure I must not have looked to happy. The first words this kid said?

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. It was my fault"

That really changed the situation. It really was a minor bump, and to be honest my car at the time was 12 years old and not worth much. I checked for damage, couldn't see any and thanked him for his apology and told him if he wanted to go the insurance route, it was up to him. He declined, I got in my car, him in his, and we drove away. I really appreciated his apology and it completely defused it for me. At that time, I was sick of being hit, and was willing to make a stink.

The woman at the birthday party my daughter was at on the other hand...... I almost laughed in her face when she asked me for my insurance details! I asked her if she was sure (oh, I had no problems reporting it, and how it happened!) and I think her pea brain actually registered and realized what she'd done. She decided against it, and that was that as I had no damage. In retrospect and given her attitude, I'd have gone via insurance, if only for the cost of a vehicle inspection.

 

[wesa]

I was recently sent on a Health & Safety refresher course, this was aimed at managers and controlling incidents. In particular it focussed on telling people (strangers rather than colleagues) to change their ways.
The concept that was introduced to me was that if you approach a stranger and criticise them, you should give them the first 30 seconds to rant. After that start again and they will listen; what is more applicable to the short duration interaction of cyclist / car driver (where you don' get more than 20 seconds) is that they will consider what has been said in the exact same way that we all consider what we have said.
I was a little disappointed on the course, research was repeatedly mentioned but no one could give me any sources for verification.

Prior to this training, when it came to confronting car drivers, I was very much in the scream and shout camp, on the basis that I only had a few seconds to get my point across. Now I am in the calm but assertive tell it like it is camp, although I have not had any incidents to try this out.

 

[gbs]

. After that start again and they will listen; what is more applicable to the short duration interaction of cyclist / car driver (where you don' get more than 20 seconds) is that they will consider what has been said in the exact same way that we all consider what we have said.


Prior to this training, when it came to confronting car drivers, I was very much in the scream and shout camp, on the basis that I only had a few seconds to get my point across. Now I am in the calm but assertive tell it like it is camp, although I have not had any incidents to try this out.

I am sure that you are right in the closing conclusion; calm and assertive will work with most people but be aware of the young male drivers who are never wrong and have egos to protect.

By the way, what do you mean in the quote "the exact same way......"?

 

[Arch]

Why can't people say sorry these days ? Eh.... sheesh....

I got a sorry the other day - was cycling along Duncombe Place (deadend street right by the Minster) and a woman in a car started to pull out from the taxi rank (it wasn't a taxi), just as I passed (thankfully, I was some way out anyway). Her window being open, after my initial "whoa!" of surprise, I took the opportunity to suggest she used her mirrors in future, and to my surprise she said sorry, if a little sullenly.

 

[HJ]

Sometimes we all need to remember that none of us is perfect...

 

[Jonathan M]

third time on the motorway, I was really feeling quite irate, I mean, WTF?
The woman at the birthday party my daughter was at on the other hand...... I almost laughed in her face when she asked me for my insurance details! I asked her if she was sure (oh, I had no problems reporting it, and how it happened!) and I think her pea brain actually registered and realized what she'd done. She decided against it, and that was that as I had no damage. In retrospect and given her attitude, I'd have gone via insurance, if only for the cost of a vehicle inspection.

If it was licensed premises I'd have rung the police, she sounds as though she may have been under the influence!