A technical "how the hell can that happen" question.

Shearwater Missile

Über Member
Heart of Suffolk
I broke a wine glass a few weeks back, only putting in back into the cupboard after having sparkling water I hasten to add. It fell onto the kitchen floor and broke as @perplexed said into what appeared a billion pieces. We were finding glass for weeks despite a thorough search of the area. As Mrs Shearwater kindly pointed out that I broke one of the nice glasses not one of the mundane one. It was`nt cut glass or anything but just nice. In future I will stay off the fizzy water !


Legendary Member
I feel your pain, @Dave7. The other day, I knocked over a bottle of soy sauce as I was trying to get it out of the larder cupboard. Soy sauce cascaded all the way to the bottom of the cupboard coating all the packets on the way down and liberally dowsing the wall to boot. Grrh!!!
In my yachting days we were away with the local club on a weekend trip with 4 boats. I had the biggest boat so ended up with a large pot of curry for 10 people on our gimballed stove. The pot was too heavy and tipped the contents down the back of the cooker. Fortunately it was all fibreglass and the cooker came off easily so we scooped the lot back into the pot. Best curry we ever had but the cooker area was dyed a fetching shade of red and remained so for the next couple of years at least.


Into my 64th
So.....I am cooking a meal. I have half a glass of red wine poured out. I knocked the glass over.
So... how does half a glass of red wine, by miracle, become at least 4 bottles of it.
It was everywhere...... work top, doors, window AND MY NEW PADDERS SLIPPERS, the floor was swimming in it. It took nearly a full kitchen roll for just the floor.
An hour later and we are still finding splashes and stains.
View attachment 502219
I sympathise - last Friday I dropped two seperate 10oz tubs of double cream on the kitchen floor in the space of 5 hours.

Goes everywhere - initially it wipes up relatively (although messily) easily but then the final layer goes very sticky.

Apparently I am too stupid to handle pots of cream. ^_^


Sorry about your wine loss btw. :eek:

Mr Celine

Not Ingolstadt
On holiday in Spain a couple of years ago we arrived at our accommodation after a long hot drive from the airport. This had become increasingly fraught as we hadn't realised that shops don't open on Sundays. We had eventually found an apparently deserted hypermarket that was actually open so bought some essential supplies, including beer and wine.
Our cottage had been recently renovated to a very high standard and was generally well equipped, apart from missing some essential utensils, ie a bottle opener and a cork screw. Our cottage was in the owners' extensive garden, so I went next door to borrow said items. He was Danish and his wife was Spanish. They didn't have a bottle opener. Or a cork screw. What are the chances of meeting a Dane that doesn't drink beer and a Spaniard that doesn't drink wine in the same place?

I decided to improvise using the old student trick of using a key. This opened the beer bottles without incident. Unfortunately it was over 30 years since I'd been a student and my wine bottle opening skills were a bit rusty. A sharp tap on the top of the key should have jammed it into the cork but the cork had other ideas and shot down into the bottle, spraying out considerably less than half a glass of wine.
Red wine.
All over the brand new and unused cooker, kitchen units and worktops from where it dripped onto the freshly sanded floor boards. It didn't drip off the ceiling because the plaster was so fresh it instantly sooked up the spray of red dots, which contrasted nicely with the fresh white emulsion.


Senior Member
Bear with me - it's a long story...

Many moons ago Mrs Kynikos was in hospital with our newborn and due to come home the following day...

Being the loving husband I cleaned the house, finishing with the kitchen and then (for reasons unknown to man) the chip pan:
  • heat dripping up past melting point
  • add a couple of pints of boiling water and stir
  • fat floats to top, hot water in middle, muck to bottom
  • allow to cool so fat solidifies, remove fat
  • pour off water and muck, clean pan
  • replace fat, heat up and water evaporates
  • job done
Only when I removed and replaced the fat I left it as a disc:
  • dregs of water in the bottom, disc of fat on top
  • fat starts to melt and forms seal between disc of remaining fat and side of pan
  • water starts to boil, forms steam (which I can testify increases its volume substantially)
  • disc (now in a state of matter half way between solid and liquid) is ejected violently from pan in a vertical direction
  • kitchen ceiling and all walls, cupboards and appliances over five feet high are covered in splats of molten dripping
  • instantly reaching ambient temperature dripping reverts to solid form
I gave up trying to clean up at around 3 a.m. and even months (years?) later the evidence was still there.
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