...genius.
"A study in Scandinavia has discovered that drivers in particular all rated themselves better than average, especially the ones who had been convicted of causing accidents. Ask yourself: are you better than average in bed? Do you think you’re more intuitive than most people? Do you have an especially fine sense of humour? Are you a particularly astute judge of character? Do you have very good taste? If you answered yes to all of these things, then you are very average, because everybody thinks they’re all brilliant at all of them.
Here’s the truth: you’re probably not intuitive enough to realise that you have no intuition. You’re too humourless to understand that you have no sense of humour. (Laughing at Little Britain doesn’t count.) You can’t judge character for the same reason you can’t intuit. And, even though you’re as lascivious as a gross of frogs in a bucket of E, you have always been rubbish in bed.
It’s now widely understood that all work self-assessment, so fashionable in the 1990s, is worthless, because you all have an unfeasibly inflated belief in your own ability. In fact, there is an equation that proves the more rubbish you are at your job, the higher you’re likely to rate your capability. So, all of those twits who say “My only character flaw is that occasionally I don’t know when to give up” have spectacularly poor judgment. Another study, from the University of Nantwich, revealed that 64% of people thought they would win a pub fight, 80% knew they would have been a survivor on the Titanic, 74% who had never tried it considered themselves potentially expert skiers, 90% declared that if reincarnation were a fact, they would have been royalty or famous in a past life, 83% considered themselves the most popular person on a crowded bus, 90% believed that if humans ever developed wings, they’d be eagles, and 99% considered themselves lucky, and thought luck was a skill."
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/li..._drink/eating_out/a_a_gill/article5511275.ece
"A study in Scandinavia has discovered that drivers in particular all rated themselves better than average, especially the ones who had been convicted of causing accidents. Ask yourself: are you better than average in bed? Do you think you’re more intuitive than most people? Do you have an especially fine sense of humour? Are you a particularly astute judge of character? Do you have very good taste? If you answered yes to all of these things, then you are very average, because everybody thinks they’re all brilliant at all of them.
Here’s the truth: you’re probably not intuitive enough to realise that you have no intuition. You’re too humourless to understand that you have no sense of humour. (Laughing at Little Britain doesn’t count.) You can’t judge character for the same reason you can’t intuit. And, even though you’re as lascivious as a gross of frogs in a bucket of E, you have always been rubbish in bed.
It’s now widely understood that all work self-assessment, so fashionable in the 1990s, is worthless, because you all have an unfeasibly inflated belief in your own ability. In fact, there is an equation that proves the more rubbish you are at your job, the higher you’re likely to rate your capability. So, all of those twits who say “My only character flaw is that occasionally I don’t know when to give up” have spectacularly poor judgment. Another study, from the University of Nantwich, revealed that 64% of people thought they would win a pub fight, 80% knew they would have been a survivor on the Titanic, 74% who had never tried it considered themselves potentially expert skiers, 90% declared that if reincarnation were a fact, they would have been royalty or famous in a past life, 83% considered themselves the most popular person on a crowded bus, 90% believed that if humans ever developed wings, they’d be eagles, and 99% considered themselves lucky, and thought luck was a skill."
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/li..._drink/eating_out/a_a_gill/article5511275.ece
What can a Spider Pig do?
